POST MORTEM: PORT DICKSON
Not everyone puked. Not everyone pissed drunk. Not everyone shagged. Uhm… nobody shagged.
It was more like a trip of the gluttons than the alcoholics.
With a small party of five, we were thinking that it wouldn’t be a wild party. It wasn’t. Yet, it was a blast. It was like a small gathering for old time sake. It felt as if we have known each other for ages when we merely got to know the guys within this year.
WY – College buddy while doing ICSA, also 6 years.
CK – I got to know him this year May through YY.
Shien, the Table Cloth (Stories later) – I got to know him in 3 suppers with the supper gang.
Self, the mulut celupar (Malay: the big mouth)
CK tried to sabotage this outing by asking us to drive there ourselves as he had to fetch his aunt. Nice try. Nothing would stop us from making him pissed drunk!
Three of them: Where??
YY wore a red top, self – yellow and Shien – green.
We looked like a walking traffic light.
Bought cheap tequilla. Totally oblivious about past experiences.
I tried my best not to utter profanities while driving but was in vain. I think generally, Malaysians cannot control their temper while they are driving.
One piece of advice: If you plan to try on the banana boat, please trim your finger nails.
The evening ended prematurely with our reluctance to pay RM80 for half hour of jetskiing. We went to Seremban for dinner.
Port Dickson Sunset
Carefree Weekend
The Prep
The Booze
In the end, YY, Shien and myself went to the karaoke lounge with the two bottles. The bartender was a nice chap. Shien would have had finished the entire bottle of wine while taking the 5 minutes walk back to the apartment if we didn’t stop him.
After a couple of beers, 2 bottles of wine, 1/8 of vodka, 1/6 of Dewar Whiskey, and 1/4 of cheap tequilla, everyone was a bit tipsy. Shien and I started puffing away (ciggies). And everyone started talking cock. Heck, we also talked cock when we were sober. The pail prepared to accumulate our puke was used as a rubbish bin instead. We didn’t drink much coz the Tequilla tasted like kerosene.
It was a night of laughing banshees. We were one bunch of happy drunks.
We tried but, due to procrastination and WY spending too much time in the bathroom (women!), we were unable to escape. Just kidding.
Had lunch at PD Royal Yatch Club. We were dumbfounded when the Mother asked us how we met her son? Are we colleagues? No. Are we college mates? No. We met through some other friends? Not really. We looked suspicious. She looked worried.
We dared not tell her that YY met her son through the internet. You know, old fashioned mothers. Everyone we met through the internet is deemed evil. Mothers will always be mothers.
The Mother briefed us about the slow-paced life in PD, her dismay over her son’s infrequent returns to home, the cost to raise a kid in PD, confinement ladies, importance of being hardworking, bursting our dream bubbles of being single and care free forever, men are supposed to bring the bread home, women are supposed to take care of home, etc etc.
We were in our best behavior and nodded in unison whenever she made a statement. It was like a prim and proper Royal English family lunch with the Queen Mother. She meant well though. CK should be grateful to have a mom who loves him very much. Surprisingly, Shien performed really well when it comes to meeting the parents.
I felt extremely restless; keeping my bloody mouth shut to avoid saying something stupid/obscene throughout lunch. In the end, I couldn’t help it and blurted in front of the Mother – Shien wore a shirt with the same pink shade as the table cloth. Everyone laughed uneasily while Shien glared at me in disbelief.
The Lighthouse
CK decided to torture us for overly siding the Mother during lunch. He took us to the Light House in Tanjung Tuan, Melaka and forced us on a 15-minutes of hot, sweaty and smelly uphill climb. The view at the light house was breath-taking though. Shien said the venue reminded him of a Hong Kong series where a greedy brother murdered his own flesh and blood by pushing him down the hill slope over the father’s inheritance. He flashed an evil grin at me. Probably he was describing his own intention of pushing me over the cliff after I pandai-pandai (Malay: Cleverly) pulled such stunt (the table cloth incident) in front of the Mother.
Long Treacherous Road
View from the Top
View From the Top II
We stayed in PD till dinner time as we wanted to throw Shien a birthday surprise. It was another crab (as in the crustaceans) dinner in Lukut.
The Birthday Cake: Butter Bun With Chicken Curry
1. Eat
2. Booze
3. Sleep
4. Eat
5. Booze
6. Sleep
7. Eat
This trip? We did the extra: some rough water sports, meeting the parent, forced sight seeing and amusing color coordination of clothes.
Note to Self: Remember the corkscrew.
Organic Horror of the Seven Spinsters
It was more like a trip of the gluttons than the alcoholics.
With a small party of five, we were thinking that it wouldn’t be a wild party. It wasn’t. Yet, it was a blast. It was like a small gathering for old time sake. It felt as if we have known each other for ages when we merely got to know the guys within this year.
The Plot: Party of FiveYY – My room mate for two months while I was in TAR College. She shifted NOT because she couldn’t stand me! She accepted an offer in a local university. I knew her for 6 years now.
WY – College buddy while doing ICSA, also 6 years.
CK – I got to know him this year May through YY.
Shien, the Table Cloth (Stories later) – I got to know him in 3 suppers with the supper gang.
Self, the mulut celupar (Malay: the big mouth)
CK tried to sabotage this outing by asking us to drive there ourselves as he had to fetch his aunt. Nice try. Nothing would stop us from making him pissed drunk!
Act I: Shopping in Giant Hypermarket in PuchongSelf: Do you notice a traffic light in the shopping mall?
Three of them: Where??
YY wore a red top, self – yellow and Shien – green.
We looked like a walking traffic light.
Bought cheap tequilla. Totally oblivious about past experiences.
Act II: On the way to Port DicksonSelf: Ladies and Gentlemen, fasten your seatbelt.
I tried my best not to utter profanities while driving but was in vain. I think generally, Malaysians cannot control their temper while they are driving.
Act III: Water sports in Port DicksonWe tried on the banana boat despite the anticipated bruises and scratches. Shien got clawed on his legs when he fell on me when the boat capsized. YY ended with her cheekbones being elbowed and WY said she grabbed someone’s legs real hard when she fell. I wasn’t bruised at all. Must be the extra padding of fat deposits on my body that saved me. See – it is good to be fat at times.
One piece of advice: If you plan to try on the banana boat, please trim your finger nails.
The evening ended prematurely with our reluctance to pay RM80 for half hour of jetskiing. We went to Seremban for dinner.
Port Dickson Sunset
Carefree Weekend
Act IV: Booze session (Most anticipated)The worst nightmare for an alcoholic is, forgetting to bring the corkscrew. We did just that. CK was a bit pissed off, being not in control of situation. We tried to use chopsticks to push the cork inside. Then, a Swiss army manicure set to extract the cork… Come to think of it, we looked saling tak tumpah (Malay: exactly) like a bunch of apes fiddling with a bottle.
The Prep
The Booze
In the end, YY, Shien and myself went to the karaoke lounge with the two bottles. The bartender was a nice chap. Shien would have had finished the entire bottle of wine while taking the 5 minutes walk back to the apartment if we didn’t stop him.
After a couple of beers, 2 bottles of wine, 1/8 of vodka, 1/6 of Dewar Whiskey, and 1/4 of cheap tequilla, everyone was a bit tipsy. Shien and I started puffing away (ciggies). And everyone started talking cock. Heck, we also talked cock when we were sober. The pail prepared to accumulate our puke was used as a rubbish bin instead. We didn’t drink much coz the Tequilla tasted like kerosene.
It was a night of laughing banshees. We were one bunch of happy drunks.
Act V: Meet the ParentThe next morning, CK really went to church with YY. We were too sleepy to bother. They came back to the apartment to get us for lunch with CK’s mom. Meeting the Mother is not in our itinerary. The three of us tried to sneak out of the apartment while both of them were catching up with some winks of sleep after church.
We tried but, due to procrastination and WY spending too much time in the bathroom (women!), we were unable to escape. Just kidding.
Had lunch at PD Royal Yatch Club. We were dumbfounded when the Mother asked us how we met her son? Are we colleagues? No. Are we college mates? No. We met through some other friends? Not really. We looked suspicious. She looked worried.
We dared not tell her that YY met her son through the internet. You know, old fashioned mothers. Everyone we met through the internet is deemed evil. Mothers will always be mothers.
The Mother briefed us about the slow-paced life in PD, her dismay over her son’s infrequent returns to home, the cost to raise a kid in PD, confinement ladies, importance of being hardworking, bursting our dream bubbles of being single and care free forever, men are supposed to bring the bread home, women are supposed to take care of home, etc etc.
We were in our best behavior and nodded in unison whenever she made a statement. It was like a prim and proper Royal English family lunch with the Queen Mother. She meant well though. CK should be grateful to have a mom who loves him very much. Surprisingly, Shien performed really well when it comes to meeting the parents.
I felt extremely restless; keeping my bloody mouth shut to avoid saying something stupid/obscene throughout lunch. In the end, I couldn’t help it and blurted in front of the Mother – Shien wore a shirt with the same pink shade as the table cloth. Everyone laughed uneasily while Shien glared at me in disbelief.
Act VI: To the Light House
The Lighthouse
CK decided to torture us for overly siding the Mother during lunch. He took us to the Light House in Tanjung Tuan, Melaka and forced us on a 15-minutes of hot, sweaty and smelly uphill climb. The view at the light house was breath-taking though. Shien said the venue reminded him of a Hong Kong series where a greedy brother murdered his own flesh and blood by pushing him down the hill slope over the father’s inheritance. He flashed an evil grin at me. Probably he was describing his own intention of pushing me over the cliff after I pandai-pandai (Malay: Cleverly) pulled such stunt (the table cloth incident) in front of the Mother.
Long Treacherous Road
View from the Top
View From the Top II
Act VII: The Dinner
We stayed in PD till dinner time as we wanted to throw Shien a birthday surprise. It was another crab (as in the crustaceans) dinner in Lukut.
The Birthday Cake: Butter Bun With Chicken Curry
Conclusion:It was a good trip. Similar to my trips to Port Dickson with my other glutton friends, we have only 7 things in our itinerary.
1. Eat
2. Booze
3. Sleep
4. Eat
5. Booze
6. Sleep
7. Eat
This trip? We did the extra: some rough water sports, meeting the parent, forced sight seeing and amusing color coordination of clothes.
Note to Self: Remember the corkscrew.
Other post mortem series:The Great Expectation, The First Night, Attack of the Jelly Fish, Return of the Gang,
Organic Horror of the Seven Spinsters
Comments
Oh yea, you know what, I don’t think my dad knows that we met through the internet. Haha, fathers are old fashioned too sometimes.
Kat | Homepage | 10.19.04 – 6:48 am | #
LOL Kat! Your dad kept on saying that I am like you – I am his daughter too. If you don’t come back from UK soon, I will brainwash your dad and he will love me more than you. Hahhahaha!
Yes, Kat. Those were the days. How I miss ‘em!
Gina | Homepage | 10.20.04 – 12:34 am | #
1. Eat
2. Booze
3. Sleep
4. Eat
5. Booze
6. Sleep
7. Eat
Sounds like a lazy bum kinda trip. Suits me well!!!
Ann | 10.21.04 – 1:05 am | #
Missing those days & do nothing but booze-eat-sleep getaways . .
Paul | Homepage | 10.21.04 – 7:55 pm | #