TOP TEN REASONS - IT’S COOL TO BE FAT
Disclaimer: This is not to offend any horizontally challenged people out there. This is SOLELY based on my OWN experience.
Here they are in no particular order…
(1) There is no need of you to take leave during sale unlike the majority with standard sizes as there bound to be oversized clothes for you to choose from. You just have to compete with the minority fat people around.
(2) You always get the front passenger seat while your skinny colleagues cramped in the back seat, smelling each others’ armpits, for lunch outing on Fridays.
(3) If you drive a very small and light car(if you could get in it at the first place - tricky), you don’t have to worry your car turning turtle when negotiating a sharp corner as your weight could act as stabilizer/inertia.
(4) You can have all the helpings as much as you wanted in a buffet without worrying about people staring at you out of suspicion. (you are fat what - eat all you want!)
(5) You are a pillow during a long distance journey to your friends who would very much appreciate you.
(6) Kidnappers would think twice before even kidnapping you as they are worried they might not be able to haul you into their get-away vehicle. (Also, you might tend to throw big tantrum whenever you are hungry even before the ransom money is delivered.)
(7) You don’t have to worry about guy friends molesting you while sleeping in the same room as you do not have sex appeal.
(8) When a car or motorbike gelek your feet accidently, you don’t have to worry about breaking any bones as your fat deposit will be able to cushion the crushing effect. (my own experience – 2x)
(9) You can donate blood to help needy people as you will never be underweight to qualify.(unless you are hypertensive)
(10) You get employed real fast as your employer would think nobody would want you as a spouse so you would concentrate on your work 100%. (My lady boss said I am hired coz I am cute - probably indirectly that is what she meant)
Here they are in no particular order…
(1) There is no need of you to take leave during sale unlike the majority with standard sizes as there bound to be oversized clothes for you to choose from. You just have to compete with the minority fat people around.
(2) You always get the front passenger seat while your skinny colleagues cramped in the back seat, smelling each others’ armpits, for lunch outing on Fridays.
(3) If you drive a very small and light car(if you could get in it at the first place - tricky), you don’t have to worry your car turning turtle when negotiating a sharp corner as your weight could act as stabilizer/inertia.
(4) You can have all the helpings as much as you wanted in a buffet without worrying about people staring at you out of suspicion. (you are fat what - eat all you want!)
(5) You are a pillow during a long distance journey to your friends who would very much appreciate you.
(6) Kidnappers would think twice before even kidnapping you as they are worried they might not be able to haul you into their get-away vehicle. (Also, you might tend to throw big tantrum whenever you are hungry even before the ransom money is delivered.)
(7) You don’t have to worry about guy friends molesting you while sleeping in the same room as you do not have sex appeal.
(8) When a car or motorbike gelek your feet accidently, you don’t have to worry about breaking any bones as your fat deposit will be able to cushion the crushing effect. (my own experience – 2x)
(9) You can donate blood to help needy people as you will never be underweight to qualify.(unless you are hypertensive)
(10) You get employed real fast as your employer would think nobody would want you as a spouse so you would concentrate on your work 100%. (My lady boss said I am hired coz I am cute - probably indirectly that is what she meant)
Weight Management
I shed 11.5 kgs since May 2004!! I celebrated with a piece of Strawberry Vanilla Cream Cake, a glass of Starfruit juice, a glass of Apple Juice and a plate of fries… Sigh.. Old habits die hard.
Related Stories/Categories: Serious Business, Top Ten, Top Ten Reasons I am not a Christian
Comments
ryuu | 08.24.04 – 2:53 am | #
woops! my own fault! a bit short sighted hehe. sorry.
congrats on the 11.5kg! keep it up! (i mean the good work not the weight)
cheers!
ryuu | 08.24.04 – 3:26 am | #
Lose the weight just for the sake of your health, don’t lose it just because of others prejudice.
sugarbaby | 08.24.04 – 7:25 am | #
huh? that’s not a good advice.
u know why people say anger/hatred is the best motivator?
revenge is a dish best served cold. the amount of motivation that you can get out of the desire for revenge… perplexing!
ryuu | 08.24.04 – 7:43 am | #
You can certainly alter your physical image through the use of your ideas and beliefs. Your body is an artistic creation, formed and constantly maintained at UNconcouscious levels, but quite in line with your beliefs about what and who you are.
You can send a barrage of beliefs and instruction to the inner self that affect your physical image. Thoughts in general possess an electromagnetic reality and have INNER SOUND value.
The inner sound (sound of thoughts within your head, not body noises) has far reaching effects on your body as they affect the atoms and molecules that compose your cells.
For example: When you say “I am tired”. You are giving silent messages to your self and many portions of the body must be affected before YOU feel tired – but besides this the inner sound value of the messages automatically affects the body in just that way
Contd…/2
mwt | 08.24.04 – 8:09 am | #
Contd..
So what is the remedy when you find yourself being cute for so long? To change it DO NOT reinforce it by saying you are cute and accept it.
Instead, you say mentally that the “body can now begin to rest and refresh itself and burn off the excess baggage” And you WILL benefit as the inners sound value of the countering suggestion automatically begins to alter the body, albeit slowly. Don’t expect miracle.
You have at your disposal the means to insure your health. The inner self always attempts to maintain the body equilibrium and health, but core beliefs prevent you from doing so.
Realise that your physical experience and environment is the materialisation of your beliefs. Sometimes if you find loneliness, a lack of meaningful work, a lack of love, then make a determined effort (will power) to discard them.
So use the inner sound to be slim when you are overweight.
mwt | 08.24.04 – 8:10 am | #
that one about being always given the front passenger seat if u r fat, that is very true. i know because i am skinny and i always get given the back seat squeezed up with other skinny people.
anthony wong | Homepage | 08.24.04 – 10:25 am | #
You’re friggin’ hillarious. Keep it up and I’ll add you to my blog links. Yeah, I know, BFD right? What do you expect from a self-confessed Corporate Scum(tm). Catch you on the flipside, G.
Your Friend,
the BerukBoy
BerukBoy | Homepage | 08.24.04 – 10:28 am | #
Congratulations on the 11.5 kg shed. But like what sugarbaby said, lose weight coz you want to – not because other people say you have to. BUT If it’s for revenge…I have no problems with it.
Mei | Homepage | 08.24.04 – 12:03 pm | #
mwt: I’m curious about your profession. Are you a guru for ‘mind controlling’…hmmm.
Gina: WOW a loss of 11.5 kg? Amazing. Keep it up, soon we can shop for nice clothes for your curvy body…ehehhehe…
WY | 08.24.04 – 1:06 pm | #
nah mwt sounds like a NLP practitioner. sorry if i’m mistaken but it sounds exactly like that.
what’s NLP? neuro linguistic programming
ryuu | 08.24.04 – 3:11 pm | #
Goodness, honesty is indeed the best policy.
Thanks for the encouragement, mates!
Ryuu: Glad you found the link. You have to forgive me sometimes – I am not net savvy!
Sugarbaby & Ryuu & Mei: Revenge can be sweet. Anyway, it is the doc’s advice. I have been carrying this excess baggage far too long.
Anthony: When I am skinny, I will post top ten reasons it’s cool to be skinny. *Keeps Fingers crosseD*
Beruk Boy: It is good to laugh at ourselves sometimes. It’s therapeutic. I don’t wanna be one of the statistics of the increasingly depressing people. Laughter is the best medicine. Chill!
mwt: It is all in the mind! Thanks for confirming that, dude! *I am drop dead gorgeous! I am drop dead gorgeous!*
WY: I am curvy even when I am fat. Hahahha. *heeding mwt’s advice*
Ryuu: NLP? Damn… that word is overly bombastic to me.
Gina | Homepage | 08.25.04 – 12:28 am | #
Hi gin… a very hilariously forehead-smacking blog you’ve got. Had been following for some while, and I kinda getting hooked with your wits, er, u know .. (u know what i mean)
btw, you could end up anorexic if losing weight becomes one of your er, old habits!
jonnie | 08.25.04 – 10:21 pm | #
Thanks for your concern, Jonnie. I have been trying to lose weight since I was 8, but obviously haven’t been successful.
If you follow close ’nuff, my sis is anorexic. It sure kills the family spirit. It is a very dreaded sickness that there is no hard and fast rules on how to go about treating it. It will take months, years.. decades..
It is an incomprehensible disease. You will never understand what is going on in her mind. You feel devastated coz you are totally helpless in helping her. It saddens me when I am not in control of this situation.
So I will never subject my family to another mental torture this disease has caused my family.
Gina | Homepage | 08.26.04 – 1:04 am | #
Congratulations on shedding 11.5kg. Keep up the good work. I’ll be bringing you to more cake shops for celebrations!!! hahhahha….
Ann | 08.26.04 – 2:20 pm | #
Yes – Ann! Thanks! What would I do without you? *LOL*
Gina | Homepage | 08.26.04 – 9:40 pm | #
Lost 11.5kg thats good news, wow!. By the way can u give me some tips too, i cant seemed to get the extra baggage off me, kind of sticking on me like a leech. hahahaha. Give me some tips will ya, would love to hear from u.
Keep up the good work girl.
Ash | 09.09.05 – 11:56 pm | #
I enjoyed your post. You are a great writer.
Gina | Homepage | 04.17.06 – 2:50 am | #