INVITATION TO BOOZE PARTY

One Reason Not To Get Pissed Drunk

There will be a booze party this weekend in Port Dickson – the not-so-regular booze party gang assembling for the second time this year, and most of my friends don’t seemed to be interested. I didn’t know everyone is so bloody health conscious these days. Bummer.

Invitees’ excuses/rejections:

Pilot Boy: Cannot lah. On a standby. (Don’t drink and fly)

Tall Dude: I have a wedding dinner. Postpone lah. Why so last minute?? (We are impromptu people)

Ann: I have a gathering with my hometown friends in KL. (and her hometown is Port Dickson)

New Lesbo friend: Cannot lah. Watching police story with new gf.

The Monk: I am on duty. Sorry. (He doesn’t drink anyway. We just need him there to clean after our puke and make sure we don’t drown in it)

Peter: [no reply] – a guy I flirted with outrageously when he fetched me to Ipoh to attend a wedding dinner. He must have been intimidated by my aggressive approach.

Yabba: Why so far?? Remember we also have another booze session this 24th October. (Last session was on 3rd October) Hope to see you there! (Bloody alcoholic)

Dimples: [no reply] Probably she is now somewhere overseas to search her soul. She is a wanderer. (who still gets lost all the time).

People I am not sure (don't bother) of inviting:

James. He seems pretty content to play walrus-and-pup with his new born son over the weekend. (The father and son look sebijik like a walrus and its pup when they lie on the floor together in front of the tv set)

Vic & Paul. I don’t think they drink? Do they?

Kath. She is in UK, probably pissed drunk NOW in British beer, at a fraction of costs. Beers are dirt cheap there.

Wise friend. He said I can't even behave properly when I am sober.

The six spinsters . If they like healthy organic farm trip, I don’t think they would enjoy this.

The supper gang. They are too mild mannered to handle a semi-wild booze party.

Hhmph… I didn’t know I have so few friends.

Itinerary is as follows: (Tentative)

BBQ at the beach
Booze till we pissed drunk and puke in all available rubbish bins in the apartment (quota – 2 dustbins full of puke per person)
Strip poker (Ladies – from top to bottom. Men – from bottom to top)
Banana Boat ride (Optional – not recommended for people with bad back/ not medically fit)
Skinny Dipping (Please trim your bushes)

It is not going to be a major one. Just a small orgy party for the alcoholics.

Anyone interested, please e-mail me or leave a comment. Looking for 2 more persons, preferably male, and able to haul a woman (who weighs like a beached whale) to the toilet when she is pissed drunk.