I DREAMT OF ABSOLUT VODKA

I had the weirdest dreams last night. They were vivid that I thought they were for real. I almost pissed in my pants when I woke up this morning.

As usual, everything is in its scattered forms. My brother and I were drafted by the government to fight demonic forces. Don’t laugh! Try to dream this yourself (if possible), and you will feel the anxiety, hopelessness and your real affections towards your family members.

James and Mae found it amusing when I recalled my dreams while we were making our way to church this morning. (The reason why I am in church is, I have to show my face to Mr X’mas that I accepted his invitation to this carnival that his church is organizing, so that I will be in his favorable list – nothing spiritual about it, maybe superficial. God will hate me for saying this).

Before Mae starts to apologize profusely for being late when both of them hopped into my car…

Self: Hey! I dreamt of something weird this morning!

James & Mae: What dreams?

Self: I dreamt that my brother and I were drafted to fight demons.

J&M: Hahahahhaha!

(Okay – I admit that I might look comical at this point of time)

Self: My brother whined about going to this cause and he cursed himself for not taking up the offer to do National Service instead. At least in NS, you won’t get killed! (Probably raped or kidnapped or drowned)

Self: My brother was so chickened shit that I sympathize with him and I would do anything to save him from this. So I began to prepare myself for after life. You know, life in hell… I burnt something for myself to use in hell. Guess what did I burn?

J&M: What?

Self: I burnt myself a bottle of Absolut Vodka.

J&M: HAhahahahahahahah! You alcoholic!

J: This says so much about you, Gina!

Self: Weh.. I also don’t know why above all things, I burnt myself a vodka okay? And what I don’t understand is that, instead of writing my own name on the bottle (in order for me to get it in hell later, some sort of delivery service from the living to the dead), I wrote the Monk’s name on it? (and it was in Chinese! I don’t know Chinese!)

M: Uhhh Oh! Unsolved problems.

J: Who is the monk???

Self: The Love of my life.

J: You ass. Who is the monk???

Self: There are certain things I tell Mae that I don’t tell you okay, James..

J: You ass!

(Imagine a Christian calling me an ass (twice) on the way to church on a Sunday morning)

Self: So, we begged the government not to send us to fight demons. The Government gave us another choice: To detonate a bomb.

J&M: Hahahhaha!

J: This is like – no choice. Either way you still die.

Self: Yeah. I think I would rather fight demons than to detonate a bomb. At least when I die, I die in one piece and not several pieces.

J: Hahahahahahahhahahahhaha!! Only you would say these kinda things lah!

M: Yeah, fighting demons, maybe you won’t die, you would just get possessed. (Is this woman a genius or what?)

Self: Probably.

In between the scattered dreams, I dreamt that I had to teach my old parents how to use the internet to pay the bills when I am gone. It was a somewhat tragic yet comical dream.

This has a lot to say about what I worried most in my real life. I probably worried not able to provide enough for my parents, not supportive enough towards my brother, and I probably love the Monk too much that I made him equivalent to Absolut Vodka.

I still don’t get it though. Why on earth, of all things, I burnt an umbrella together with that bottle of vodka to prepare myself for hell. Is it always raining and there is no pub in hell?