RED BOMBS

Red Bombs

This week, I attended a very good friend’s wedding in Selayang. Lenny was (and will always be) one of my best chums back in school, alongside with the Monk and Cynthia. I was labeled as an anti social person in class back then coz I was the only Malay educated student whilst the rest of my classmates were Chinese educated. And to make the matter worse – I sucked big time in Math, which is a big no-no for a Chinese. Then, Lenny came, also a Malay educated but good in Math.

When we reach a marriageable age, some of us who have many friends, will start worrying about getting red bombs/ summons (Chinese: Ransom/ extortion in a red packet with at least RM60) from people we don’t keep in touch with or don’t like.

I received a phone call from my ex room mate/ classmate in TAR College whom I didn’t really fancy and yes – you have guessed it right, she invited me to her wedding reception in two week’s time. It is a good thing that I am no longer a pain in the arse or a super bitch, totally untactful and simply enjoy giving others a hard time (I am still a bitch occasionally). I politely declined her and said that I will be attending another good friend’s dinner in Johor.

After a long 9 years of silence. 9 whole years. Freaking 9 long years.

She asked me if I kept in touch with anyone else in our A levels, Class of 94/95. She was very excited when I said YES and demanded for all the phone numbers that I have. I was totally amazed by her lack of respect for others and shame on herself.

She even had the cheek to e-mail me, a list of our friends back in TAR College with their descriptions instead of their names: the punjabi guy, the two cousin brothers, the skinny guy who always tumpang (Malay: hitch hike) this fat guy’s car to college and the class rep who is a non-Chinese.

Hello? Who in their right minds would even bother to come to your wedding reception if you don’t even remember their names? Menyampah-nya. (Malay: To express disgust) I didn’t bother to reply her e-mails.

I guess all these things, how you perceive as ethical or unethical, boils down to your very own principles on how you treat others. I am no Mother Theresa, but I have been living by this motto: DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WISH FOR OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU.

Perhaps, I don’t have the guts or thick skinned enough to do what she just did. From her point of view, she probably thinks this is a good way to throw a reunion party with benefits.

Okay. Here, I lay out my guidelines on whether or not, I would bother to attend a friend’s wedding reception.

Definitely Attending

Friends who keep in touch constantly, colleagues, ex colleagues (God! I hopped 12 jobs - except super spinster bitchy bosses'), clients (Insurance), hanging out friends, talk cock friends, best buddies, book lenders, DVD lenders, chauffers.

Consider Attending

Friends whom I haven’t seen in years but kept in touch via e-mail, sms or phone calls.

Will Not Attend, But Send Ransom Money

Friends’ brothers and sisters’ weddings (yes- I get plenty of those).
The Monk’s – unless the bride is self

Definitely Will Not Attend And Bad Mouth About It To The Entire World

Friends who couldn’t remember names
Friends who called after years of silence (from 3 years onwards)
Friends who only come to you when they are in need of a favor (especially those doing direct selling)