LISTENING EAR... MY FOOT

Together Forever

For years, I have been a listening ear to friends' relationship problems till I am worried to even have a relationship of my own. Who knows? My relationship problem would be an “integrated” version of everyone else’s problems. Perhaps, this is the consequence of being born on the most romantic day of the year, people just assume that you have all the answers. I am getting SICK and TIRED of it.

Don’t get me wrong. I would loved to help, but listening to the same thing over and over again, like a broken record player would irk even Mother Theresa.

Love makes people irrational. No matter how strong or egoistic you are, once you have fallen into the trap called “LOVE”, you will turn blind. You will march to a different beat of the drum. It is funny how, by loving someone change your life.

There is no identical way of solving love problems even if the given situation is similar. It dealt with individual feelings, emotional quotient, intelligence and most importantly, maturity.

You can be an intelligent person and in the midst of completing your doctorate. Yet, when you are in love, certain degree of irrationality would set in and hamper your judgement. For instance, a mature person turning into a childish person; a systematic person into a slob; a confident person into a wuss, etc.

Not everything would turn worse though. There are some cases where love would bring out the best in you.

I think I have experienced enough from other people’s problems till they could be called my own. Here are some standard advice, should anyone out there, is in need of a guidance… and please leave me alone.

To friends who dare not confront

You will never get anywhere. If it is so bloody obvious to everyone else in the whole damn world to know that you have hots for the guy/girl, just bloody confront him/her for goodness’ sake.

If you dare not tell him/her to the face, there is something called the phone or the e-mail.

Don’t get your friends to confront him/her for you. They might exaggerate the matter or worse, they would sabotage the budding relationship and want to keep the man/woman for themselves. (!)

P.S. Please do it with tact, and don't end up like some @#$%^&* serial stalker.

To friends who are into secret affairs with married women/men

Enjoy the sex while it lasts. Think of your karmic effect in the next life.

To friends who play the third party

May the best man/woman wins. Hope that there won't be another third party to screw up your relationship later.

To friends who are the victims of a third party

If your other half can’t make up his/her mind, wishing to have the cake and eat it at the same time, you may ask him/her to go fly kite.

To friends who are suffering from unrequited love

How stupid can you get? Move on. He/she doesn’t even know you exist!

To friends who keep giving problems to their spouse/ boyfriends/ girlfriends for no apparent reason
(Love does weird things to you)

Put yourself in their shoes. Do you like being distrust? Do you like being mistreated? Do you want to be single again?

To friends who dream of finding the perfect partner

There is no such thing as perfect. This is no fairy tale world. Wake up. Love is learning how to love someone imperfect perfectly.

To friends who are singly doing the tango

He/she hasn't call? He/she doesn't wanna have sex?

He/ she is just not into you. Forget him/her. Move on. No point giving excuses on his/her behalf.

Ultimate Solution

Should any of the above is not working, just bloody shag him/her. Angry sex is always good.