THE DATING PROTOCOL
The Dating Dilemma
There is a Cantonese saying which goes, “If you talk about money, you would ruin the relationship.”
So much so have been debated on the issue of footing the bill when it comes to dating. Some people argued that, since the women nowadays are mostly feminists, the bills ought to be shared equally or going on Dutch should be practiced when you are on a date. Why should a guy pay all the time?
When I first started working and dating, I didn't earn as much money as my dates. They ALWAYS foot the bill and of course, I had to let them. I did not own any credit cards then and most of the time, I just couldn't understand why would they want to bring me to posh restaurants which charge RM8 for a glass of mineral water and obviously, way beyond my means. (The men chose the venue – not me! I was a country pumpkin then).
Being a simple woman with simple needs, I wouldn’t mind if my date takes me to wine and dine in the sweaty places like the Petaling Street. With two conditions though, as long as the food is good and the company is a great conversationalist. Occasionally, if we ever go to the slightly lower range places, I would insist on paying for the meals.
What do you think? How far do you let your date(s) pay for you? Does it depend on how much you are really into the person?
I think I have come up with guidelines on paying for a date, after years of being in the dating scene…. (unfortunately without success)
If you only wish to see him once
– Go Dutch. So you don’t owe him anything; or
– He pays. (A friend once commented: Never ever pay on the first date). Then you suggest a second date (which will not materialize) to buy him. (To suggest a second date is merely a friendly gesture out of courtesy).
If you really, really into this guy and wish to see him again
– Let him pay. Then you suggest for coffee immediately after that and you pay.
If you only like him as a friend
– Go Dutch or pay on alternate outings.
If you don’t like him but he kept on pestering, wanting to go out with you
- He pays all the time.
If you feel sorry for this guy (Mercy Date)
- You pay all the time. (This just happens. The guy is thick skinned enough to make you pay first and never bother to pay you back)
Speaking of being a feminist…. I think I will be labeled as a traitor after this post.
As I aged, I think I paid for most of my dates now. NOT going Dutch. I PAID for everything. I think, my stocks had reached its saturation point and the trend is moving downwards. Or maybe this is the karmic effect of being a leech for so long.
So much so have been debated on the issue of footing the bill when it comes to dating. Some people argued that, since the women nowadays are mostly feminists, the bills ought to be shared equally or going on Dutch should be practiced when you are on a date. Why should a guy pay all the time?
When I first started working and dating, I didn't earn as much money as my dates. They ALWAYS foot the bill and of course, I had to let them. I did not own any credit cards then and most of the time, I just couldn't understand why would they want to bring me to posh restaurants which charge RM8 for a glass of mineral water and obviously, way beyond my means. (The men chose the venue – not me! I was a country pumpkin then).
Being a simple woman with simple needs, I wouldn’t mind if my date takes me to wine and dine in the sweaty places like the Petaling Street. With two conditions though, as long as the food is good and the company is a great conversationalist. Occasionally, if we ever go to the slightly lower range places, I would insist on paying for the meals.
What do you think? How far do you let your date(s) pay for you? Does it depend on how much you are really into the person?
I think I have come up with guidelines on paying for a date, after years of being in the dating scene…. (unfortunately without success)
If you only wish to see him once
– Go Dutch. So you don’t owe him anything; or
– He pays. (A friend once commented: Never ever pay on the first date). Then you suggest a second date (which will not materialize) to buy him. (To suggest a second date is merely a friendly gesture out of courtesy).
If you really, really into this guy and wish to see him again
– Let him pay. Then you suggest for coffee immediately after that and you pay.
If you only like him as a friend
– Go Dutch or pay on alternate outings.
If you don’t like him but he kept on pestering, wanting to go out with you
- He pays all the time.
If you feel sorry for this guy (Mercy Date)
- You pay all the time. (This just happens. The guy is thick skinned enough to make you pay first and never bother to pay you back)
Speaking of being a feminist…. I think I will be labeled as a traitor after this post.
As I aged, I think I paid for most of my dates now. NOT going Dutch. I PAID for everything. I think, my stocks had reached its saturation point and the trend is moving downwards. Or maybe this is the karmic effect of being a leech for so long.
Comments
hhahahha..
eh, the first one, if u only wish to see him once, go dutch lar. don’t pay for him, later he misunderstands. i think suggesting a second date which will never materialize is a bit leading him on… so.. it’s not that nice..
well, if u’re being a bitch (and proud of it!) that doesn’t really matter anyway
ryuu | 12.05.04 – 1:42 pm | #
It depends. I’ll pay if I wish to go out with her again. As I snatch the check away I say, “you can pay next time.” If i’m not sure if I want to see her again and she offers to pay, then we’ll split the bill. If she wants to pay and I don’t want to pay, I’ll let her pay. It also depends on who asked who out. If she asks me out then she should obviously pay. That’s my two cents. OK
gregrye | 12.05.04 – 1:44 pm | #
Well, I guess it should be split (either 50-50 or take turns or his share,her share of expenses). I’m talking about a few dates or more of course
I personally don’t mind paying. But I think it’s common courtesy to share the burden.
And why do you bother paying all the time? I think it’s not quite right for your dates to let you do that.
Resurrected | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 3:51 pm | #
If it’s a girl I really like to see again (hmm, how often that happens to me, I wonder) and she feels bad that I paid for the date, then I’ll say I let her pay for the next date and normally I’ll try to secure the 2nd date by the end of the night. Remember, first date is the audition for the 2nd date, and it goes on… :p
Gina, since you paid for most your dates now, wanna date me? :p
LOL!
auyongtc | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 3:52 pm | #
Gregrye: Yeah. If it is going to be an ongoing process – we ought to split the bills.. and not to mention the shopping of clothes and shoes needed to be done before each date- who is going to foot the bill? Women!
Resurrected: You don’t know me.. and I don’t understand myself – I date strange men.
auyongtc: If you want me to pay for it, you better make sure you are worth it. Hahahhaha!
Gina | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 4:15 pm | #
auyongtc | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 4:22 pm | #
No one party should be made to pay all the time, IMHO. Going on dutch is okay. But I used to do this: we alternate – sometime I paid, sometimes she paid. It went good – and we had no problems as far as this issue is concerned :p
narrowband | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 4:47 pm | #
Oooo.. did someone just ask me for a date?
Meaning, you liked her lor, narrowband. Hahah.
Gina | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 4:57 pm | #
Mercy dates? Is there such a thing? I don’t ask girls out because I feel sorry for them. It may lead to more complications later. Also, the cool babes I fancied in the past had no mercy for me! Wouldn’t even give me mercy sex. Can you believe such uncharitable characters?
viewtru | 12.05.04 – 7:20 pm | #
viewtru: My sympathy to you for dating such girls. I don’t mind giving mercy f*cks. I am born to please. Remember? Slutty pussy with nuts. Hahahhaha! Gawd. I am a slut.
Gina | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 8:37 pm | #
victoria | 12.05.04 – 9:02 pm | #
a quick tip for the sluts, bithes and the inter.
equip urself with a coin of 2 “heads”. ALWAYS initiate in bringing up the issue of who’s footing the bill. Heads U Pay, Tails I Pay. No 2 ways about it (guys never chicken out from a bet). Toss, Flip, Spin anyway which way u know how and..WALLA! put up a surprise face & u scream out “HEADS It Is! U Pay!”
Doesn’t matter which category he falls under as long he’s footing the bill..lol. TIPS :-
1. U can use it as many times as u want on any guys, soul food or not. and yes even with the same guy.
2. Until you have been discovered(which will normally take awhile) that u’ve been using a “magic” coin.. just brush it off with a “swiney grin” (anyone with a higher count of oestrogen can definately do this) in reply with “You Did Not Ask If The Coin had A Tail 1st Of All”, both shall end with a good giggle.
IT’S FOOLPROOF! Guy’s shall discover the fun, witty side of you..AWWW! isn’t that cute.
c-tinue….
ken | 12.05.04 – 9:03 pm | #
3. If he’s a low down in ur list, he’d do the dissapearing act…. no more dates (don’t need to make excuses for not dating him, Phew!)
4. If he calls you out again, he’s definately paying or at least he know’s ur not the type to foot the bills..lol.Loaded! or a true gentleman.
5. If you find the guy to be your soul food, just hand the damn coin over! (in other words, i’m handing meself over!) the rest should easy peasy… if he get’s it. If he doesn’t….. don’t waste ur time, bugger off! lol.
Good Luck!
ken | 12.05.04 – 9:03 pm | #
Vic: I used to think like you once.. but after that, I don’t know. Things just seemed to alter its course or change overnight. Hahhaha.
Ken: Hhmph. The coin tossing part also would come in handy if the dinner/movie leads further into the night… Head – you lick, Tail – I blow. Hahhahaha!
Gina | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 9:13 pm | #
Gina : Ok. Noted
Resurrected | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 9:26 pm | #
agree with vic’s comment, but guys should limit their dates, dont go for date marathon or else u will get ‘pocket bocor” syndrome.
by the way where can one get “THE COIN”, might be useful as mentioned by gina…hehehe
p/s thanks for fixing the time stamp
VJ | 12.05.04 – 10:25 pm | #
Resurrected: My pleasure.
VJ: Yeah. I want the coin too. Hahhaa.
Gina | Homepage | 12.05.04 – 11:35 pm | #