TREMOR HUMOUR

God indeed has a wicked sense of humour.

I have been waiting for the second coming of Christ since I was six years old. That was when my mom decided to send me to Sunday School on the pretext of improving my command of the English Language. On top of that, I ended up with some knowledge of the Bible.

I was and still terrified of the last Chapter of the Bible, the Book of Revelation.

I could still remember I read it a few times and told the stories to my uncle – who was then, still alive. I tried so hard to convince him of the end is near, but was mocked playfully. He said I shouldn’t be thinking of death when I was still so young. He died young, at age 33, due to kidney and heart failure. He was a nice man. He was not a Christian.

I was very disturbed every night that when I go to sleep, (…the Lord comes like a thief in the night. 1 Thessalonians 5:2) I would look longingly at my parents, my siblings and praying hard to see their smiles again the next morning. At times, I would cry silently in my sleep.

My childhood was pretty demented by all these beliefs. It haunted me till I was in my teens.

I had even come to a point to think that it was meaningless to live. What was the point of being human? You are born, and if you are lucky enough, you would grow up, go to school, go to university, work hard, get married, have children, then die, and the cycle continues with your ancestral line. Everything, over and over again. Buddhist called this the Wheel of Samsara. Sufferings, indeed. No wonder babies come to this world, full of tears.

Or maybe, half way through the typical cycle of life, the end of days strikes. After working so hard, we perish.. just like that. What is this for? What is life? Why do we even live at the first place?

It has been 10 years since I last thought about the end of the world.

I have watched movies in relation to the end of the world - Armageddon, Deep Impact, the Sixth Day, Terminator and I haven’t watch End of Days yet, which I don’t intend to.

I was caught off guard when I listened to the radio while driving to James’ house last night. The earthquake measuring about 8.9 on Richter Scale hit Sumatra, leaving some 4000 people died, 39 of them are Malaysians, etc. I was shocked. James said in disbelief, “A tsunami? A tsunami in Malaysia?”

This sets me thinking again. Typical human nature. It takes a disaster as huge as this to make us realize how fragile our lives are. Many would be humbled by this incident. Many traumatized, many devastated, yet many still unrepentant and move on with their sinful lives.

I still cannot accept the simple faith that heaven is open to those who believe in Christ only. I don’t know why, but my thoughts suddenly go to the Beard Club among the Germans. It is like, those without a beard, are not allowed entrance. So, what will happen to those people who do not have the required chemicals or hormones to grow a beard? Jesus is the hormone? All questions and queries remain unanswered.

Okay, perhaps for the time being, I can settle with the standard answer that everyone seems to be giving me: GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. This somehow does not erase my curiosity and the ability to discern, made possible, after Adam decided to sink his teeth on the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.

My deepest condolences to the families who have lost their loved ones.

On a lighter note, the people in my mom’s hometown, Port Weld or Kuala Sepetang, a small fishing village in Taiping, also felt the tremors of the quake as early as 9 am on Sunday morning. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

Unaware of the earthquake and tidal waves…

An uncle lamented, “@#$%^&*. This is what happened to you when you don’t take the high blood pressure tablet for one day. The floor seems to be shaking!”

An aunt who just finished hosting her son’s wedding reception on Christmas’ night, was baffled at the sight of unaided rippling water in the sink the next morning. The entire family was horrified, thinking they must have wronged the gods in some ways that they decided to consult a Chinese medium.

A friend who lives near the sea complained about not having his lunch in peace as the entire table was shaking vigorously as if a poltergeist is at work.