REALITY BITES

James’ post on what makes the opposite sex ticks; sets me thinking... again. In fact, these things have been obviously made known to many of us (the girls) long time ago since we reached puberty and in the hunting mode for potential life partner(s).

He is right. Men are shallow. Women are in Hobson’s choice but to deal with it.

I was delighted to meet Seng again during Kim’s wedding. He is a kindred spirit. Like Aristotle once said, “A friend is like a soul dwelling in two bodies.”

Looks aside, he is quite a catch. Good family background, helpful person, hilariously funny, witty, an engineer with a multinational company, etc.

We think alike, share similar ideals in life, cynical, apprehensive about religions, witty and very, very humorous. Sometimes, I don’t have to say what’s in my mind, he already knew. It somehow scares the living daylights out of us because we only meet each other occasionally, not more than twice a year.

Being my usual thick-skinned and blunt self, I asked him as-a-matter-of-factly, would he consider me as his girl friend if I were not overweight.

He gave me an affirmative answer. He said YES. For the first time in many years, I don’t think he is an asshole for admitting to this.

A thought-provoking discussion ensued.

I told him, if a man were to love me for my outward appearance, then I shouldn’t even be with that man. He might ditch me when I grow old and fat. If I were to be slim and beautiful, I would rather stay single than to worry constantly that he might love me for my looks and nothing else.

Then, he threw me a question, which shook the very core of my ideals. He asked if I would consider him as a boyfriend if he is a beggar?

I was dumbfounded for a minute.

Reality bites.

As most men go for looks, most women go for money (or security – a subtler word women like to use).

Well, girls. If you don’t want to miss the boat, you should start to look pretty, dress up, no more frumpy granny clothings, fully utilize your feminine wiles… not all men are shallow, but sadly, most of them are.

Don’t you prefer to hunt for men in the 90% (shallow) group?

Before I posted this, I asked Ms Lactose for her comments.. here’s what she says:

Not bad. I have to beg to differ, met a couple of girls who goes for looks too… Then how do we rate them, into which percentage?

My 2 cents worth – a man is not worth being with if the inner self of a loved one they do not see. Always believed what’s inside that counts rather than the outside. It’s perfectly normal to possess these values and stand firm with that decision.

Guys look for pretty girls, but don’t they run the risk of aggressive, compulsive, possessive, manja, teaser, flirty, personalities that these girls may possessed? Most pretty girls know they’re pretty and mean it! I could be wrong here as different girls carry different personalities, be them pretty or average looking.

But it’s nice to hear from a kindred soul of a friend to say he would consider you a girlfriend if you were slimmer, or if you were this or if you were that. In the first place, would he have considered you if he were attracted to you, warts and all, because of your personality and sharing the same interest? Why would he want to consider it only when you’re slimmer? He’s just not into you, Gina, not because of your size. And no amount of reasons or what if or could be would do.

Ouch. Hahhaha.