JOB DESCRIPTION

I guess anyone who works in a Chinaman’s company would know what it is like.

A friend came to see me for supper last night, in the pretext of discussing our Johore and Singapore trip this weekend.

Two minutes into our conversation, she conveniently remembered an assignment given by her boss two days ago and chucked the entire manuscript on my lap.

She is an account executive in her company… and she had to draft legal agreements, do administrative work, hiring people, conducting interviews, doing budget, make sure the pantry does not run low on beverages, watering the plants…. etc. In Cantonese, they called it, One Leg Kick. (Do everything within AND out of your job description)

She is one helluva superwoman. If I were to set up my own company some day, she would be the first person I hire.

Over a glass of teh tarik and roti tisu (My help comes cheap), I helped her to draft (or rather, scribble) a pre-conditional terms before engaging a new security company. I am not a lawyer myself.. but I gave my best..

As I went through each of the conditions pre set by her boss, I thanked God quietly for my job now.

Conditions: (all in point forms)

(These are the terms I find acceptable)

(1) To designate two security personnel at all times; one in the morning and one at night.

(2) To rotate/alternate the security personnels every three months.
(2) Payment for services would be as follows:
Probationary first month: RM3.80 per hour
Second month: RM4.00 per hour should performance is found to be satisfactory.
(4) The security personnel who is on duty at night, is required to punch card every one hour as a security measure. (Ann commented that this is to ensure the guard doesn't fall asleep at night - This woman is a genius!)

(5) The security personnel is required to record the inflow and outflow of any vehicles to the factory premises.
(6) The security personnel is required to ensure the cleanliness of the main porch.

(These are the conditions I tried not to roll my eyes when I wrote them)

(7) The security personnel is required to maintain and tend to the garden (eg. Watering the plants twice a day)
(8) The security personnel is required to manage the evacuation of garbage in the disposal area whenever it is full.

(This is the one condition that made my jaw dropped)

(9) The security personnel is required to wash a lorry every night.

I wonder which security company would be desperate enough to take up this offer.... and all of us think our job is shitty.