BUSINESS TACTICS

Last weekend, when I was queuing up to buy 4D at Da Ma Cai, I spotted a man in his late 40s, selling yummy looking curry puffs and siew pao. He was calling out to everyone walking past him to make a purchase. I decided to buy the curry puffs after buying 4D.

When I walked towards him, he called out to me, “Aunty! Come buy my curry puffs!”

I looked at him, pissed off.

He then, changed his words, “Si Tao Poh, come buy my curry puffs!”

I shook my head and walked off.

How could you address me as “aunty” when you are well in your late 40s? There goes his chance of earning some money from me.

When I was younger, I had the same problem as well. Probably due to my size, I looked much older for my age, or even worse, I looked like a boy.

I remembered once, I was walking with my pretty cousin sister to pasar malam hand-in-hand when a stall owner who knew my cousin sister called out to her, “Wah!!! New boyfriend ah??”

Both of us stared at him and gave him the middle finger.

“This is my cousin sister lah!!!” My cousin sis yelled back at the trader.

The trader smiled sheepishly as I glared at him.

When I went browsing through some stuffs, another trader tried to start a conversation with me, “Leng Chai! This t-shirt is only RM10!”

Without a word, I walked off as well.

When I was in Taiping, I was sitting in the living room, dozing off on the couch while my uncle was lying on the floor, watching tv.

Then, two elderly couple came to our house to ask for money for the temple.

They said to me – “Ah Soh! Tay ean!” (*Hokkien: Aunty! Donation for temple!)

Wah lao yeh. Ah Soh at age 10?? Jesus!

In TAR College, while I was waiting for my friends to join me for dinner, a waitress walked from my behind and asked me, “Leng Chai! Would you like to order a drink?”

I looked at her and smiled. She was shocked and apologized, “Sorry! From the back, you look like a man!”

Bear in mind, at that point of time, I had shoulder length hair. No wonder some friends thought I am James’ brother – the more handsome one, that is. Hahaha!!

Nowadays, it is harder to do business as it is getting competitive. In order to remain competitive, these petty things matter.

If you are not sure how to address the other person – you could just call them Boss – Si Tao Poh (Lady boss) or Si Tao or Lou Sai (man boss). Try not to use too much leng chai or leng loi as I couldn’t really stand it when people call me leng loi, in order to try to get my business; for apparent reasons.

And if you are really sure that the person is older than you, and then only you address the person as “Aunty” or “Uncle”. And if you are already well in your 40s or 50s – I guess it is not so appropriate to address anyone “Aunty” or “Uncle”, unless the person has a head full of white hair and face full of wrinkles. On the safe side, just address everyone as BOSS.

I think, the machas at the car wash centre where I used to send my car are the best. They always address me as Ah Moi or Boss!

It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out.