ANGER MANAGEMENT
I had a rough week. It wasn’t a very big issue – but you know how petty a woman can get.
Those who personally know me is aware that I am a hot tempered person and not easy to be taken for a ride. I would be easily provoked at the slightest things.
Working here proved to be quite an uphill task especially you need to deal with people of yesteryears mentality. Some of them do not take initiative to make things right, some of them never want to take responsibility for anything, some of them just do whatever that is in their job scope and nothing more, or worse, some of them can’t even do their own thing properly, some cannot mind their own business, etc.
As an assistant to one of the most powerful man in this organization, I thought I would be treated with utmost respect. I guess I was wrong.
Respect is earned, not made.
It is not that I do not treat other people with respect, as I believe, respect begets respect. The mentality of the people here are very demoralizing – if they can take advantage of you, they think you are easily taken for a ride. If you are nice to them, they think you are easily bullied. They do not know who they are dealing with. I was very pissed off whenever people treat me as if I am a child or worse, some of them think they could undermine my authority. I sympathize with those who have been working half their lives as clerks or assistants, yet still wonder why they are not promoted after all these years.
Somehow I have mellowed down over the years and did not get angry easily over small things. But I do get upset. Party Girl’s words of comfort tend to be very soothing and real.
One person I admire most is my boss. He is very calm even when it comes to dealing with barbarians (plain rude and uncivilized). Just a few minutes ago as I wrote this, he was being screamed at by a creditor over the phone who hung up on him. Mind you, this creditor is a pain in the ass. I was scolded by him before but I did not take it to heart as I know it is not point talking sense to an angry man. To make the story short, we are right in withholding payment as the things done by him is not up to mark and need some minor adjustments before final payment.
Anyway, my boss reverted to him saying that cheque was ready for collection and gave him a penny for thought for being downright rude by screaming at him without finding reasons of delay and hung up on him. After all, my boss is one of the most important man in my company. He should be treated with utmost respect.
After calming the creditor, he tried to reason with him and instead of letting things turned awry the way it started, he ended the phone call with an apology from the creditor and even laughed over the creditor’s rudeness and foolishness.
The bible is right. A calm answer quiets anger and a harsh one stirs it up.
Thinking my job here is not worth my time or commensurate with my experience and qualification, I was dead wrong.
To learn how to deal with people from all levels, behavior and mentality is very challenging. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn before I could say, I've made it.
Those who personally know me is aware that I am a hot tempered person and not easy to be taken for a ride. I would be easily provoked at the slightest things.
Working here proved to be quite an uphill task especially you need to deal with people of yesteryears mentality. Some of them do not take initiative to make things right, some of them never want to take responsibility for anything, some of them just do whatever that is in their job scope and nothing more, or worse, some of them can’t even do their own thing properly, some cannot mind their own business, etc.
As an assistant to one of the most powerful man in this organization, I thought I would be treated with utmost respect. I guess I was wrong.
Respect is earned, not made.
It is not that I do not treat other people with respect, as I believe, respect begets respect. The mentality of the people here are very demoralizing – if they can take advantage of you, they think you are easily taken for a ride. If you are nice to them, they think you are easily bullied. They do not know who they are dealing with. I was very pissed off whenever people treat me as if I am a child or worse, some of them think they could undermine my authority. I sympathize with those who have been working half their lives as clerks or assistants, yet still wonder why they are not promoted after all these years.
Somehow I have mellowed down over the years and did not get angry easily over small things. But I do get upset. Party Girl’s words of comfort tend to be very soothing and real.
One person I admire most is my boss. He is very calm even when it comes to dealing with barbarians (plain rude and uncivilized). Just a few minutes ago as I wrote this, he was being screamed at by a creditor over the phone who hung up on him. Mind you, this creditor is a pain in the ass. I was scolded by him before but I did not take it to heart as I know it is not point talking sense to an angry man. To make the story short, we are right in withholding payment as the things done by him is not up to mark and need some minor adjustments before final payment.
Anyway, my boss reverted to him saying that cheque was ready for collection and gave him a penny for thought for being downright rude by screaming at him without finding reasons of delay and hung up on him. After all, my boss is one of the most important man in my company. He should be treated with utmost respect.
After calming the creditor, he tried to reason with him and instead of letting things turned awry the way it started, he ended the phone call with an apology from the creditor and even laughed over the creditor’s rudeness and foolishness.
The bible is right. A calm answer quiets anger and a harsh one stirs it up.
Thinking my job here is not worth my time or commensurate with my experience and qualification, I was dead wrong.
To learn how to deal with people from all levels, behavior and mentality is very challenging. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn before I could say, I've made it.
Comments
yuin | Homepage | 05.25.06 – 10:53 am | #
now, dont mess with me ok? i hv been nice enuf 2 u.
takeshi | 05.25.06 – 11:16 am | #
Dealing with people is an art for all managerial level people. If you can do it well, you are ready for higher step in the laddle, provided you don’t fall down and die… :p
nyabek time:
Dealing with angry people is to apologize to them in a calmly manner and subtly nyabek them without them knowing. Highest level is to get them to say ‘thank you’ at the end of the false apology and under current nyabek.
I talk only, still learning to nyabek people at higher level skill.
nyabek | 05.25.06 – 11:08 pm | #
You’re right, a calm answer quiets anger. I try this approach all the time.
But some arseholes you can’t talk to. That’s when I show them even more love and compassion, I tell them to go screw themselves..
stevo | Homepage | 05.26.06 – 1:03 am | #