GROUNDED

I was home early yesterday and today. So was last week – almost, and the week before. My mother was very surprised to see me and was a bit annoyed when I asked her, what’s for dinner, for I didn’t even tell her I was coming home for a meal. Nevertheless, she would offer to heat up the left over afternoon lunch dishes and fry some eggs. I didn’t want that, of course. I would just make do with whatever that was left and it is perfectly alright to have a cold meal – hot meals are bad for the stomach, it seems.

I started to pick up reading “Fit for Life” of where I had left. I had stopped gym (VJ: Don’t scream at me!!) as FF in KLCC is getting ridiculously crowded. You could never get a chance on the treadmill and the cross trainer, even the ones without tv. When you finally get the chance to use it, the machine is filled with other people’s bodily fluid. It is so disgusting.

As much as I love my body jam classes and the steam bath (which are also getting crowded by the day), I decided to quit gym to save up some money (for the house) and probably do some exercise on my own. Further, Budak Kilang, my gym buddy, had her account frozen since she had gotten a new job and been relocated elsewhere.

I know… there shouldn’t be any excuse of not exercising. Sigh.

I missed the good old days while I was still in college. I used to have this militant-like strict discipline. I would go for jogging at wee hours in the morning with Ms Pok, my roommate, and then, go swimming with my other roommate, Amy, after a light breakfast. It was a routinous affair except when it was time for exams.

Back then, I was “athletic” and nicely tanned, much to the envy of my fellow friends. My college mates admiring my tan, were curious and asked me whether I’ve just been to an exotic island for a holiday. Quite frequently, I would go to Bukit Jalil swimming pool with Pilot Boy and do 20 laps in the pool. Those were the good old days. My nickname was the State Swimmer. Ha ha! I could actually see my feet without obstruction of the pregnant tummy that I have now.

Metabolism rate seemed to be at its peak when we were younger. I could effectively lose 2-3 kgs in 2-3 days if I cut down on my food consumption. I took only hi-calcium milk in the morning, small servings of fruits or curry puffs till late evening, before I broke fast with a vegetarian meal. I should try to do that again as it proved to be highly effective.

Since I started working, my weight began to escalate in tandem with my stress level. Working late and having suppers instead of dinners proved to be lethal. It was not a surprise that I had put on all the weight (and sadly – more), that I had painstakingly put off while I was in college.

I had been trying to go on fruits only breakfast on and off since last week.. but since THIS Monday, I had been solely on fruits. Occasionally, I tend to forget and sip coffee to satisfy some hunger pangs. This is bad. I can’t even survive without coffee till noon.

I wonder what is it like to be “normal”. I had been fat for as long as I could remember. Even when I was athletic – I am considered to be a slightly bigger built person. I jokingly told a friend that, luckily God didn’t make me beautiful or else I would be a slut.

Oh well. I think, this is a bit too much for self-consoling. I hope the fruit thingy works for me – weight management is not fad and fashion – it is a management of a lifestyle.