SIZE MATTERS
12. 13 a.m.
Mamak stall in front of the Police Quarters in Selayang
They were comparing sizes (what else?) when I arrived fashionably two hours late for supper. I was watching Collateral with Ann and a former colleague, Tan (and indirectly with Paul and Vic - we bought our tix separately) at KLCC.
So, if you think I would be out of place to be here because:
1. I don’t have one to compare?
2. I would be blushing?
3. I won’t know sizes of typical Malaysians’ coz I haven’t seen a real one before?
Wrong on all counts. Except #1, that is.
(The entire conversation was in Cantonese. I will try my best to translate because I was lost half of the time – there were some testicles jargons here)
Koon: How many mm in one cm?
The Monk: 10 mm
Koon: Cannot be!
The Monk: What do you mean, cannot be?
Koon: Is there any other measurements other than cm or mm?
The Monk: Kilometres?
Self: Yards?
Koon: No no. They said, the normal measurement is around 20 cm to 30 cm.
The Monk: Wah Lau Yeh!
Everyone, including myself, was trying to imagine the length with our hand gestures.
The Monk: If you enter a vagina with such a long dick, the dick will end up in her throat.
Can you believe that a monk said that?
Self: How can? 30 cm??? 12 inches already you know! That is one foot!
The Monk: You mean black people? *oozing with racism jealousy*
Koon: This is a book from Taiwan lah. Taiwanese men measure about 20 cm to 30 cm.
Self: You should throw away the book. It will make you depressed. Chinese men where got so long one??
Koon: You look at those Chinese athletes in Olympics. I am sure they have!
So.. men do check out each other's manhood? Kat is right.
Self: Yeah I think so. But normal men with 20 – 30 cm’s dick? I don’t think so.
The Monk: Is it true that blacks have such long dicks that they actually can wrap their waist with it? *still obsessed with racism jealousy*
Self: Eh.. come to think of it. You didn’t watch Discovery Channel? The males in this weird tribe wrap their dicks with somewhat looking like tongkat ali.
Overdose of tongkat ali
Mr Curly: 15 cm is about 6 inches. Look at the shorter ruler. 15 cm sure got one!
The Monk: Short ruler?
I took out the straw from the milo ais glass and showed them how long is 15 cm.
Self: This is when the dick is erected. *Talking like a pro*
Mr Curly: You can actually measure your own dick with the length between the tip of your index finger till the tip of your thumb.
Mr Curly gesturing his size.
The Monk: Woah.. you've got a long one, buddy!
For a brief moment, the four boys were talking silently and knowingly with their eyes (Oh.. you know.. the eyes-rolling-then-snigger-type). Kit remained silent most of the time, his face was plastered with a perpetual grin like a rotten seahum.
Then..
Mr Curly: Hey! Don’t tell me you told her!
I hate it when people were talking as if I am invisible.
Mr Curly: Did you tell her what we did when we were in form 4?
Again. I am invisible.
Mr Curly has ways of blowing his own cover.
Everybody stared at the Monk.
The Monk: No, I didn’t!
Self: What? What happened???
The Monk: Curly here is a sick bastard!
Mr Curly: Don’t you dare to tell her!!
I will find out. Soon.
For about one and a half an hour, they were still discussing their little experiment in the classroom, which I did not know of, circumcisions, tonics, etc and spilled out secrets of whose penises got exposed during P.E. Lessons back in school and started to compare over and over again.
And who says women are vain? Think again.
And as for the encounter with real penises, thanks to perverts who generously flashed theirs in public, usually under LRT Stations or masturbating in front of their motorbikes' headlights (those days while I was still in TAR College).
And no.. I wasn’t turn on towards the end of the conversation.
Mamak stall in front of the Police Quarters in Selayang
They were comparing sizes (what else?) when I arrived fashionably two hours late for supper. I was watching Collateral with Ann and a former colleague, Tan (and indirectly with Paul and Vic - we bought our tix separately) at KLCC.
So, if you think I would be out of place to be here because:
1. I don’t have one to compare?
2. I would be blushing?
3. I won’t know sizes of typical Malaysians’ coz I haven’t seen a real one before?
Wrong on all counts. Except #1, that is.
(The entire conversation was in Cantonese. I will try my best to translate because I was lost half of the time – there were some testicles jargons here)
Koon: How many mm in one cm?
The Monk: 10 mm
Koon: Cannot be!
The Monk: What do you mean, cannot be?
Koon: Is there any other measurements other than cm or mm?
The Monk: Kilometres?
Self: Yards?
Koon: No no. They said, the normal measurement is around 20 cm to 30 cm.
The Monk: Wah Lau Yeh!
Everyone, including myself, was trying to imagine the length with our hand gestures.
The Monk: If you enter a vagina with such a long dick, the dick will end up in her throat.
Can you believe that a monk said that?
Self: How can? 30 cm??? 12 inches already you know! That is one foot!
The Monk: You mean black people? *oozing with racism jealousy*
Koon: This is a book from Taiwan lah. Taiwanese men measure about 20 cm to 30 cm.
Self: You should throw away the book. It will make you depressed. Chinese men where got so long one??
Koon: You look at those Chinese athletes in Olympics. I am sure they have!
So.. men do check out each other's manhood? Kat is right.
Self: Yeah I think so. But normal men with 20 – 30 cm’s dick? I don’t think so.
The Monk: Is it true that blacks have such long dicks that they actually can wrap their waist with it? *still obsessed with racism jealousy*
Self: Eh.. come to think of it. You didn’t watch Discovery Channel? The males in this weird tribe wrap their dicks with somewhat looking like tongkat ali.
Overdose of tongkat ali
Mr Curly: 15 cm is about 6 inches. Look at the shorter ruler. 15 cm sure got one!
The Monk: Short ruler?
I took out the straw from the milo ais glass and showed them how long is 15 cm.
Self: This is when the dick is erected. *Talking like a pro*
Mr Curly: You can actually measure your own dick with the length between the tip of your index finger till the tip of your thumb.
Mr Curly gesturing his size.
The Monk: Woah.. you've got a long one, buddy!
For a brief moment, the four boys were talking silently and knowingly with their eyes (Oh.. you know.. the eyes-rolling-then-snigger-type). Kit remained silent most of the time, his face was plastered with a perpetual grin like a rotten seahum.
Then..
Mr Curly: Hey! Don’t tell me you told her!
I hate it when people were talking as if I am invisible.
Mr Curly: Did you tell her what we did when we were in form 4?
Again. I am invisible.
Mr Curly has ways of blowing his own cover.
Everybody stared at the Monk.
The Monk: No, I didn’t!
Self: What? What happened???
The Monk: Curly here is a sick bastard!
Mr Curly: Don’t you dare to tell her!!
I will find out. Soon.
For about one and a half an hour, they were still discussing their little experiment in the classroom, which I did not know of, circumcisions, tonics, etc and spilled out secrets of whose penises got exposed during P.E. Lessons back in school and started to compare over and over again.
And who says women are vain? Think again.
And as for the encounter with real penises, thanks to perverts who generously flashed theirs in public, usually under LRT Stations or masturbating in front of their motorbikes' headlights (those days while I was still in TAR College).
And no.. I wasn’t turn on towards the end of the conversation.
Comments
Ann | 09.04.04 – 7:22 pm | #
Not notes, Ann. They compare dicks. Hehe.
Gina | Homepage | 09.04.04 – 7:24 pm | #
I did not say the shaft would reach up to her throat but get through the back.
The Monk | 09.05.04 – 1:14 pm | #
Oops. Sorry Monk. Reach the throat is by far..funnier, don’t you think so?
Gina | Homepage | 09.05.04 – 10:44 pm | #
Men are vain even on the inside . . haha . . i used to know a fren who told me that to see how long a man’s dick is, to look at his shoe size. Boy, that got me laughing !!! And damn interesting!
Paul | 09.06.04 – 12:38 pm | #
As for the guys, this is my 2 sen opinion: Why compare size instead of focusing on the sexual position during sexual intercourse? I believe if you have a long dick and you fail to satisfy a woman, it will be pointless…
So perhaps the next time you guys meet for a ‘teh tarik’ session, you may want to consider discussing this topic: How to satisfy a woman during sexual intercourse…….sorry for those who think I’m a pervert instead of an open minded person.
WY | 09.06.04 – 2:45 pm | #
Paul: I heard of that “urban legend” before. Don’t know how true it is.
WY: I did. I said, what is the point of having a long dick, yet it is as thin as a pencil? Or a long dick, yet can’t perform. Already said that. Next! Haha!
Gina | Homepage | 09.07.04 – 12:21 am | #
Yes kar….which part of your blog did you mentioned cos I’ve scrolled up and down for dunno how many times and can’t find it…anyway, thanks for putting up the pictures…where’s their dick? Is it the one covered with yellow cloth?
WY | 09.07.04 – 12:17 pm | #
WY: This is the ART of blogging. You don’t pen down every damn thing.
Gina | Homepage | 09.12.04 – 2:20 pm | #