OLD FARTS ROCK!

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Wise friend: Bring a friend.

Self: As long as it's a chick.

Wise friend: You took the words right outta my mouth.

After cursing throughout a horrendous jam along the way, at 6.45 p.m., I met up with Wise Friend and some of his tani kakis (drinking friends) in Petaling Street. Jeff, Mike, Bob, Bob’s awek (Malay slang for girlfriend – I think, we were not properly introduced) and Jam.

I sms-ed Dimples^.

Self: I am already in Petaling Street. Please hurry up.

Dimples: Why so early? Browse around and look at the colorful lanterns and mooncakes lah.

* I would rather look at the cute Mat Sallehs sitting on the next table.*

Self: SOS. I am stucked with some middle-aged men now.

Dimples: Hahahah! Then I will take my own sweet time and let you enjoy their company.

Some friend huh?

Jeff is a decent looking bloke who doesn’t smoke or drink. Nice chap.

Mike kept on insisting that I looked familiar. I insisted I am always home by midnight. It is impossible to see me roaming in the streets after midnight. He said he would look up his files in his office to check who I am. This is not a flattering news, considering he is a policeman.

Bob is a bar tender in some jungle pub at Sri Hartamas. Wise friend recommended me to get buddy price the next time I hop into his bar. I am a confirmed alcoholic.

Awek. (Sorry, didn't get her name). Pretty in red. Smoked Sampoerna A lights.

Jam showed us an interesting pamphlet the PAS demonstrators distributed in attempt to gain public support to ban the “sinful” concert, which allegedly cause gejala sosial (Social Ills).I think it would be better for the problematic people to bang their heads while listening to music rather than bang someone elses’ heads on the ATM machine to rob them?

Wise friend.. you don’t wanna know.

After an hour and a half of inhaling second hand smoke and smelling of beer even without drinking, Dimples arrived. Had dinner and off we went to Stadium Merdeka, when we felt it was about time that those “ketayap#- wearing” supporters had stopped demonstrating.

Going to concerts is not really my cup of tea. The only concert that I would like to go, is probably Nirvana. Unfortunately, Kurt is dead. But I think I would rather be seen banging my heads in a rock concert NOW than some 15 years later.

The concert started with Search (local band), with Amy Search (lead singer) in his tight white corset (not vest!) and his signature long curly hair, screaming his balls off.

Dimples: Is this what they called rock? More like noise pollution to me.

Dimples: How come ah? Already more than a decade in this biz, yet their music never evolves?

I couldn’t be bothered.

In between the songs (screaming), Dimples and I chatted about old times – from work to holidays, music to gay shows. Since Dimples has this habit of laughing out loud as if she had inhaled the entire barrel of laughing gas, it is embarrassing to make her laugh too much. Must be stress.

After an hour of torturous nonsensical banshee-ish screaming from Amy Search, those blokes (geez- I really don’t know their names) from the Scorpions came to the stage and requested for 15 minutes of our time to rearrange the stage.

As I am not a frequent concert goer (this was my third), I don’t know if this is the usual practice in any concerts to be put on hold in order to re-arrange the stage. The scene looked somewhat like a snake charmer cum ointment seller arranging his props in pasar malam. (Must be the banner - trademark)

After about half an hour later, (Yeah – these Mat Sallehs sure knows how Malaysian time works), the Scorpions started to rock and roll.

Dimples: Now! That’s what I called ROCK!


Stage on Fire

The stage was on fire. The standing crowd was terribly small for a concert – unlike the ones you seen on tv, filled with thousands of heads and body-to-body proximity.

The guitarist is one helluva talented person. He could start up a motorbike engine (as in sound) with his guitar and did some weird noises by giving blowjobs to the microphone.

The drummer probably was the one who got the most attention. It was funny when he stopped drumming and asked in total disbelief, “That’s it??” when the audience was not eagerly responsive.

We couldn’t really identify with the songs. I was disappointed when they left the stage without singing the two out of three songs, I only know of – "Still Loving You" (the compulsory song by my ex boss in karaoke sessions) and "Wind of Change" (memories from TAR College - sigh). ("You and I" was sang earlier). Told Dimples to hold on as I had a premonition that they would return to the stage. Indeed they did. The TWO songs. :) Old dogs, old tricks.


Smeagol in Action

The foremost thing that distracted us from the concert (apart from sitting too far away from the stage - free seating seats) was a Smeagol-ish looking Malay chap, performing all kinds of acrobatic stunts on the fence.. on natural high, much to the chagrin of the RELA officers.

There were head bangers, strippers (only top – men only) and fans playing invisible drums. This particular crowd was in trance and looked as if they were having a mini satanic worship session with little bon fires on crumpled newspapers.


The Young, The Old and the Middle-Aged

I came to this concert expecting middle-aged people, but was surprised to find a wide range of fans– as young as a 7 year-old girl and as old as a 60 year-old grandpa.


The Behaving Crowd

It was quite an enjoyable night. (The Scorpions and the free side show by Smeagol). Thank goodness the rain had stopped before the show starts, the fans were pretty harmless and entertaining (they just irked the RELA officers) and the weather was cold enough to ensure I didn’t sweat like a pig. Sorry, I couldn’t comment much on the music, as I am not musically inclined. Undeniably, these seasoned rockers are far more talented than the younger generation of boy bands combined, which emphasize more on looks rather than talent such as Backside Boys and Wastelife. The Scorpions members sure looked stunning for their age!

As usual, Dimples forgets her way home (present tense here as it is repetitive) and we ended up wasting an hour and a half, driving under excessive profanities throughout the entire Serdang, Seri Kembangan and God-Knows-Where and splurged about RM5.70 on toll, to get to her house.

For more professional pics and commentative blogs on the Scorpions (people who actually know about the music industry) , please see: Jeff Ooi's and TV Smith's.

^Dimples is a friend I got to know during my market research years. Job no. 5

# A type of head gear.