WITH OR WITHOUT
Over the radio, a male listener commented, “You don’t choose a soul mate you can live with, but someone you cannot live without.”
Hastily, I agreed with the listener.
Over the weekend, while idly sipping a cup of hot chocolate at San Francisco’s Coffee, WY refuted my idealistic thinking.
WY: Why do you agree with marrying someone you cannot live without?
Self: It shows how much you needed this person. You want him to be your side all the time. Every breath you take, every move you make, every single day, you miss him. He is the every reason that you live. It’s so romantic!
WY: You are nuts. Think! If a wife – not very well educated, the husband is a well educated and runs his own business. They married for love. Then one day, the husband decides to leave the wife for someone else. The wife, being not educated, could not get a job. This is what it mean by marrying someone you cannot live without. Because you need him – a husband to take care of you. This is not practical lah.
Self: Hmmmph.. I never thought about it that way… The conclusion is, a practical person would think, “Marry someone you can live with”. A hopeless romantic would go for, “Marry someone you cannot live without.”
WY: What is your definition of a good marriage?
Self: Weh. You are asking a monk for a comb? I don’t think I can define what good marriage is all about if I myself, not going to get married!
WY: Saja lah. Answer!
Self: … I guess, giving each other absolute trust. Being with someone who understands you and, there are endless things both person could talk about, learning to compromise, trying not to change the other person…
WY: Why people marry and then divorce?
Self: I think, the trust is being breached? Aiyah… there is no black and white lah. Some people just fall out of love. Trust no men, except Datin Ng (Ed).
WY: I prefer to be with someone who would love me more than I love him. At least, I know I am in control.
Self: Eh! That is so cliché! It takes two to make a relationship work. Not I love you more or you love me more, so I can take control of you.
WY: After listening to stories from friends about their straying husbands and wives – I have grown wary of the sanctity of marriage! I am giving up!
Let’s sleep with this thought tonight. Would you marry someone you can live with, or someone you cannot live without?
Happy Merdeka, Malaysia.
P/S I am heading to Bangkok-Pattaya in 7 hours’ time. It has been awhile since I last indulged in a shutterbug spree! I am so excited. Have a good week, everyone!
Hastily, I agreed with the listener.
Over the weekend, while idly sipping a cup of hot chocolate at San Francisco’s Coffee, WY refuted my idealistic thinking.
WY: Why do you agree with marrying someone you cannot live without?
Self: It shows how much you needed this person. You want him to be your side all the time. Every breath you take, every move you make, every single day, you miss him. He is the every reason that you live. It’s so romantic!
WY: You are nuts. Think! If a wife – not very well educated, the husband is a well educated and runs his own business. They married for love. Then one day, the husband decides to leave the wife for someone else. The wife, being not educated, could not get a job. This is what it mean by marrying someone you cannot live without. Because you need him – a husband to take care of you. This is not practical lah.
Self: Hmmmph.. I never thought about it that way… The conclusion is, a practical person would think, “Marry someone you can live with”. A hopeless romantic would go for, “Marry someone you cannot live without.”
WY: What is your definition of a good marriage?
Self: Weh. You are asking a monk for a comb? I don’t think I can define what good marriage is all about if I myself, not going to get married!
WY: Saja lah. Answer!
Self: … I guess, giving each other absolute trust. Being with someone who understands you and, there are endless things both person could talk about, learning to compromise, trying not to change the other person…
WY: Why people marry and then divorce?
Self: I think, the trust is being breached? Aiyah… there is no black and white lah. Some people just fall out of love. Trust no men, except Datin Ng (Ed).
WY: I prefer to be with someone who would love me more than I love him. At least, I know I am in control.
Self: Eh! That is so cliché! It takes two to make a relationship work. Not I love you more or you love me more, so I can take control of you.
WY: After listening to stories from friends about their straying husbands and wives – I have grown wary of the sanctity of marriage! I am giving up!
Let’s sleep with this thought tonight. Would you marry someone you can live with, or someone you cannot live without?
Happy Merdeka, Malaysia.
P/S I am heading to Bangkok-Pattaya in 7 hours’ time. It has been awhile since I last indulged in a shutterbug spree! I am so excited. Have a good week, everyone!
Comments
no one should be indispensable in our personal life lo. WITH OR WITHOUT that person, we still need to live WELL wo.
世界上没有说矢去谁不可以活下去！！！
peace,
ed
Ed | 08.31.05 – 12:42 pm | #
I would choose someone whom i can’t live without. We can’t be pragmatic when it comes to love, or not it would just not work. but ‘can’t live without’ means you cant imagine living the rest of your live without that other person. NOT ‘needing to hold the persons hand 24-7 and be in constant close proximity’
yuin | Homepage | 08.31.05 – 6:28 pm | #
you have to choose someone you can live with. you cant hang on to someone because live is just too short for that. it is nice to think that the guy you are with loves you more than you love him because it means you are in control of the relationship. but how exactly do you measure love? it is so intangible. as long as two people love each other very much and that they have faith in god, everything would turn out alright at the end of the day.
victoria | 08.31.05 – 7:56 pm | #
Perhaps I’m lucky, but to me, the person that I’d love to live with=the person I can’t live without. I always thought these two statements are equal to each other, not a neither nor circumstance.
emma | 08.31.05 – 9:08 pm | #
have a nice holiday
visithra | Homepage | 09.02.05 – 1:43 pm | #
Ahem… I didn’t recall myself saying that I’m giving up on marriages…hmmmmmmmph….
Pembetulan pls. I was saying that it would be nice if you can find someone who loves you more than you do but in reality it might not be the case. Yes, you may feel you have all the controls but to what extent??
Loving a person is a natural thing and you can’t force a person to love you or force yourself to love a person…
Anyway, at this point of time, finding a partner is not my highest priority. If I managed to find someone who loves me as much as I love him, then it’s a blessing. But if I can’t find someone (or vice versa) then I’m contemplated of what I have now.
WY | 09.03.05 – 5:35 pm | #
Sorry I mean to say that I will be contended to what I have now.
WY | 09.03.05 – 5:56 pm | #
i would live with someone who i can live with and cannot live without! Both are important guys!
syimi | 09.05.05 – 1:12 am | #