THE STATE OF MIND
The world leans on us. When we sag,
the whole world seems to droop.
- Eric Hoffer
the whole world seems to droop.
- Eric Hoffer
I am very worried for a friend who is in a depression state this very moment.
I went to see her last night. The Angel that I used to remember, someone who is cheerful, sarcastic, rational and level headed, is no longer there. She had turned into someone else. Lost and aloof.
Four years ago, she suffered from depression anxiety and even attempted suicide when she was in her final year in a university, which landed her in the psychiatric ward for 6 months.
Coming from a dysfunctional family, her mom passed away when she was 14, after a hit-and-run accident, and left the household paralyzed; with a gambler dad, selfish elder siblings and inconsiderate younger siblings.
I could feel that the burden on her shoulder is far too heavy for anyone to carry. That is why I admired her perseverance and glad that she managed to pull through her darkest hours. She finally graduated and managed to get a job.
Everything was rosy for awhile, till recently she returned to work for her first employer.
Unable to cope and adjust to new responsibilities had triggered the depression again, and I am very worried for her dear life.
She kept on repeating, “ I need an answer.. I need an answer..” - referring to whether to quit her job or not.
Well, I told her, if she doesn’t want this job, she can always find another one. As simple as that. Someone as capable as her shouldn’t worry.
Yet, she said, she doesn’t feel like doing anything at all. She just wanted to stay in her bed. Life to her now is meaningless. She feels she is just waiting for time to pass by.
I seek Befrienders’ help, but they advised us to take her to see a psychiatrist. Angel said, she doesn’t trust the psychiatrists as she had consulted one before for 8 months and yet, the psychiatrist didn’t help much. Taking anti-depressant medicine is merely a temporary measure, which eventually will not lead to any solutions.
Sometimes, I would get easily frustrated to help people who are not capable to help themselves. This friend is no longer living in the same plain of existence as we are now. She is in another realm, in which we could not reach out to her.
Before she turned into this state, I did suggest to her to take life easy. Be like me. Just don’t care. Just fuck it. I know I am in no position to give my opinion on how one should run his/her life. Everyone has his/her own capacity/ threshold to tolerate stress. Some may manage stress wonderfully, others may not be that lucky. And when they cannot manage their stress, they fall off the edge.
Time is the critical factor now, and I don’t have the solution for her. I feel so helpless. The only thing I possibly can do now is to pray for her well being… even if I am a godless tramp.
I went to see her last night. The Angel that I used to remember, someone who is cheerful, sarcastic, rational and level headed, is no longer there. She had turned into someone else. Lost and aloof.
Four years ago, she suffered from depression anxiety and even attempted suicide when she was in her final year in a university, which landed her in the psychiatric ward for 6 months.
Coming from a dysfunctional family, her mom passed away when she was 14, after a hit-and-run accident, and left the household paralyzed; with a gambler dad, selfish elder siblings and inconsiderate younger siblings.
I could feel that the burden on her shoulder is far too heavy for anyone to carry. That is why I admired her perseverance and glad that she managed to pull through her darkest hours. She finally graduated and managed to get a job.
Everything was rosy for awhile, till recently she returned to work for her first employer.
Unable to cope and adjust to new responsibilities had triggered the depression again, and I am very worried for her dear life.
She kept on repeating, “ I need an answer.. I need an answer..” - referring to whether to quit her job or not.
Well, I told her, if she doesn’t want this job, she can always find another one. As simple as that. Someone as capable as her shouldn’t worry.
Yet, she said, she doesn’t feel like doing anything at all. She just wanted to stay in her bed. Life to her now is meaningless. She feels she is just waiting for time to pass by.
I seek Befrienders’ help, but they advised us to take her to see a psychiatrist. Angel said, she doesn’t trust the psychiatrists as she had consulted one before for 8 months and yet, the psychiatrist didn’t help much. Taking anti-depressant medicine is merely a temporary measure, which eventually will not lead to any solutions.
Sometimes, I would get easily frustrated to help people who are not capable to help themselves. This friend is no longer living in the same plain of existence as we are now. She is in another realm, in which we could not reach out to her.
Before she turned into this state, I did suggest to her to take life easy. Be like me. Just don’t care. Just fuck it. I know I am in no position to give my opinion on how one should run his/her life. Everyone has his/her own capacity/ threshold to tolerate stress. Some may manage stress wonderfully, others may not be that lucky. And when they cannot manage their stress, they fall off the edge.
Time is the critical factor now, and I don’t have the solution for her. I feel so helpless. The only thing I possibly can do now is to pray for her well being… even if I am a godless tramp.
Comments
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VJ | 04.30.05 – 2:00 am | #
only she can decide to get herself out of the state that she’s in now. all you can do is just stick by her, keep her from going off the ledge, at least until she gets herself back on track again.
yuin | 04.30.05 – 3:18 am | #
There is nothing you can do about it. And there is nothing your friend can do about it either. I know ‘cos I suffer from manic depression. It’s something you can’t help. It’s not like a migraine where you can pop a few pills to solve the problem. Depression comes and goes but it stays with you for life.
Anonymous | 04.30.05 – 3:18 am | #
VJ: I can’t. My house has 12 people.. she would end up more depressed.
Yuin: I guess so. Now she is fine. Just called me to go facial with her.
Anonymous: I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you have the right friends to be around you when this happen. And whatever it is, remember, when no one else is there to help you, there is always God.
Gina | Homepage | 04.30.05 – 8:41 pm | #
Anonymous | 04.30.05 – 9:55 pm | #
Anonymous: I guess you understand your own situation better. It is unfair for people like me to make any judgement based on lack of experience. We seriously don’t know what is playing in the minds of depressed people. That is why psychitrists are here to help, friends, relatives, etc. When all else fails, we just live everything to the divine.
Gina | Homepage | 05.01.05 – 2:43 pm | #
that’s why there’s antidepressants to control the depression…
ryuu | 05.02.05 – 3:04 pm | #
You *CAN* move out of depression with AND/OR without medication. I used to suffer from manic depression and mild schizo – these days, I barely sink into depression unless it’s something huge (like me going job hunting) – so far, I have had one or two episodes but not as much as compared to the ‘dark’ years.
All it takes is an open mind and willpower. She can change her life…if she wanted to.
Mei | Homepage | 07.21.05 – 12:48 am | #