A BETTER WOMAN

I had a friend back in secondary school. She was quite an alright person if she didn’t start boasting. She was the laughing stock in school due to the size of her breasts. They are (still) damn huge. Hence, she was nicknamed Lai Ma.

After Form 5, we went on our separate ways. We didn’t really keep in touch, but occasionally, she would drop by your house and started talking non stop about how wonderful her life is. Since she likes to blow her own trumpet way too often, most friends avoided her like a plague.

A few weekends ago, after a few years of silence, she came to my house by surprise. Too late to use my old tricks of shoving my sister to the gate and lying to her that I was not in, I opened the gate for her. She was making eye contact with me and then looked at her Altis.

“Oh no.. not again,” I think to myself.

Letting her in my house was a big mistake. She suffocating me with her non-stop self praising propaganda – She now has a boyfriend who owns an antique shop, (She changes her bf all the time – from Aussie businessman to some cinapek from her college), drives an Altis, going overseas for holidays a few times a year, owns her own tuition centre, working as lecturer in some college, had been awarded the best lecturer by her students, planning to migrate to Australia for good (which I totally supported her for doing so), yiddi yiddi, yadda yadda, etc etc.

Don’t ask me what happen to the laser mouth of mine, which would definitely comes in handy in situation like this. I just left her went on and on and I tried hard to keep a straight face.

It was a lucky thing that I happened to receive many phone calls that day and that stopped her from continuing and left my house.

I was not jealous or whatsoever. In fact, I was very glad she is doing well. But why does she had to be so boastful and condescending? She might be boastful now - all these things are impermanent. They might be taken away from her someday. She should be thankful to God for all these and try to help others with her wealth and achievements, instead of bragging.

Everyone has his/her own life. Everyone sets different life standards, expectations and has different needs. We cannot be always setting our bench mark on someone elses’ achievements as we are all very individual and special people with different capabilities. I learnt these wise words from the Monk, who wrote in my autograph book back in 1993, which contained such profound advice:-

“Don’t always envy people who have good things. If God allows you to live in this world, it means, he is blessing you in this life. Sometimes, I find that you like to compare yourself with others. I don’t consider it wrong but I’ll advise you against it as it would only let you down. But you may make comparison of your old self and your present self, and you would be surprised to find - how wonderful you are.”

Not bad considering he was only 18 and I was only 17 at that point of time.

I used to compare a lot with others when I was younger and had subjected myself to a few miserable years of life. Thank goodness, I came to my senses - I decided to fuck it and as long as I enjoy my life - even if it means I might have to take bus, instead of driving a car; or maybe go on local holidays, rather than overseas, this is my life and it is not anyone else’s business. Despite lack of material wealth (actually I am just lousy in managing my finances), I guess I am content and happy with my supportive family and friends.

My thoughts inadvertently drifted to my suicidal friend. She, on the other hand, could not accept this. She always thought everyone is far better than her; drive better car, get better pay, possess better capabilities, have better family, boyfriends, beauty, etc. She cannot accept the fact that certain things cannot be changed and was consumed with so much envy. That is why she fell off the edge. May God bless her soul.

Be thankful for what we have. Learn to laugh at our own weaknesses, make the most of everything and try to look at the brighter side of life.

P.S. There is no intention to mock the flamboyant character of the very intelligent viewtru's 5 Star paper’s Lai Ma. The usage of the same name is purely coincidental.