FENG SHUI FOR DUMMIES

I have been slacking in updating myself with the latest feng shui gadgets – a friend brushed this off as total hogwash when I told him he shouldn’t paint his office ceiling in black. Well, it doesn’t hurt to give it a try, right?

Ed has been running into bad luck these days. Mostly family problems. In order for him to mitigate the problems, I bought him some stuffs for his birthday to ward off bad luck. Hope that I interpreted the solution accurately with my half-baked feng shui skills.

These are Ed’s presents:

Arowana swimming in a bed of coins and ingots

Arowanas are very popular among businessmen as they symbolise wealth and prosperity in Chinese culture. The Chinese name of the Arowana is synonymous with great wealth and abundance, and with it lying on a bed of ancient Chinese coins, it invites even more auspicious wealth luck.

Hope that Ed gets abundance in his sales!

Monkey God

The Monkey is traditionally a symbol of imagination, and legend marks the Monkey as a truly mischievous animal. The monkey represents health and protection from evil when placed in the area of the home closest to the West/Southwest (which is its birthplace). Known as a god, he is believed to have the ability to solve problems, especially in businesses where other attempts have failed.

Hope this would help Ed to steer his family problems away with his perseverance and strength.

Feng Shui book

Ed will be moving into his new home. Hope this would give him some tips to optimally energize his new home for success, love, happiness, wealth and health.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ED!

Since I was in the mood to look for feng shui stuffs for Ed, I might as well assess my own current situation.

Career luck: So far, things had been mediocre. Do not foresee promotions/ increment. Must alter the position of my dragon tortoise on my desktop to my sheng qi (life-generating) direction.

Family: Thank goodness for harmony. Things had been going on pretty well. Must be the five rod metal wind chime in the living room to suppress bad luck, and the purple crystal ball.

Social circle: So far so good. Wearing a rose quartz with amethyst bracelet and placing an amethyst tree at the southwest corner of the home proved alright... it also helps if you have a likeable personality like mine. Heh.

Money luck: Share market price has been escalating. Time to sell. Thanks to the three legged toad.

Luck with men: Zero. The painting of peonies placed at southwest corner of the living room is not very effective.

Hhmph.. I think I would need the help from a pair of mandarin ducks.

Mandarin Ducks are the most popular symbol of love in Chinese Feng Shui. It is said that when seen in a pair, the Mandarin Ducks' emit the kind of chi that is most conducive for love and romance. And more often than not, these loving energy transmutes to happy and harmonious marriages. Mandarin Ducks are often advocated as the most potent symbol of marital bliss. Keep this fine pair of mandarin ducks in your personal Nien Yin corner or beside your bed.

The ornaments over this shop are overly priced. Probably would ask Wang Loi who is traveling to China this September with my wish list. She told me to buy my own air tickets and go with her instead.

I was thinking of something more economical. So, I went hunting for mandarin ducks elsewhere.

Ann: SO CHEAP!?! But would these Mandarin Ducks work?

Self: I might end up having a cheap boyfriend!!

Ann: Better cheap than having no boyfriend at all??

Self: A dick in my bush is worth two in other people’s bushes? Hehehhe.

Ann: Wah! Why you buy so many pairs??

Self: The more the merrier? I got a feeling that this is gonna turn into a massive orgy.