TRUE CONVERSATIONALIST

There are times, I do not doubt my ability to talk. Tonight’s conversation happened to be one of those times. It is amazing that you can actually play so many roles in such a short conversation. I will be an asset to any Toast Master’s Club. :)

The Economist

[Self] u know the famous pan mein rite?
[sotongman] yeah
[Self] last time only RM3.50 with egg
[sotongman] now?
[Self] now ah... RM4.00!!
[sotongman] inflation leh
[Self] and also if u put in extra vege
[Self] cost you RM1
[Self] gila
[sotongman] wat to do


The Negotiator

[Self] your wedding dinner invite us lah
[Self] then intro your doctor brother to me and WY lor
[Self] hehehe
[sotongman] lol
[Self] u must invite us ok??
[sotongman] my brother is hairy like gorilla
[Self] how much ang pow u want?
[Self] i like hairy men
[Self] meaning they are ganas in bed
[Self] heheh
[sotongman] i dun want ang pow
[Self] then apa mau?
[Self] sex slaves by the hour?
[Self] ok lah
[sotongman] want free cooking
[Self] i agree on behalf of WY
[Self] heheh
[Self] she will service u
[sotongman] want wash car service for 10 yrs
[Self] i will service your gorilla brother
[sotongman] lol


The Historian

[sotongman] gorilla is cave man time
[Self] they hit their women hard
[Self] and drag them to cave to shag
[Self] i like
[Self] hehe
[sotongman] lol


Dr Quack

[sotongman] heard of fagua the food?
[sotongman] very yummy
[Self] what ah kua the food?
[Self] heheh
[Self] faggot the food?
[sotongman] it is goose liver
[Self] oic
[Self] hehhe
[sotongman] melts in yr mouth one
[Self] sorry, i dont eat internal organs
[Self] i am no cinapek
[sotongman] me spare part king...
[sotongman] stomach yum yum
[Self] later kena gout then only u know
[Self] better cut down
[Self] got take blood test?
[sotongman] eat now diet later when i hit 45
[Self] spare parts all very high cholesterol
[Self] by that time.. it’s too late
[sotongman] yeah cholestreol high..
[sotongman] oni got chlorsterol problems.
[Self] u now got cholesterol problems?


Current Issues

[sotongman] cant imagine treating someone like tat man
[Self] yeah
[Self] even animals we dont do that
[Self] we straight away kill them to eat
[sotongman] how she torture herself?? with a dildo aah???
[sotongman] kekekkeke
[Self] dildo got hot one ah?
[Self] this one S&M style liao
[sotongman] kekekke
[Self] nowadays i find malaysians are very kinky
[Self] got one ah pek died of erotic asphyxiation the other day
[sotongman] ya ka...wanna buy low temperature wax?
[sotongman] ooh yeah with a guy
[Self] performing oral sex, using rope to tie his own neck
[Self] then died
[sotongman] kekekke
[Self] syok meh ah?
[Self] syok ah?
[Self] i think i want to try and see
[sotongman] wait i try i let u know...
[Self] play with your gorilla brother sure syok one
[Self] since he will be good with ropes


The Mathematician

[Self] that maid of yours work for u 14 years
[sotongman] i think damn a lot of years man...lost count
[Self] u told me she was your maid since u 18 mah
[sotongman] could be even more
[Self] u are now 32
[sotongman] shud be
[Self] :)
[Self] see, gina is a genius


The Motivator

[sotongman] james still smokin?
[Self] no more lor
[sotongman] yeah
[Self] no more chimney
[Self] heheh
[sotongman] how he quit?
[Self] u still a chimney?
[sotongman] yeah man
[Self] he just quit lah
[sotongman] about 3/4 pack a day
[Self] all for LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[sotongman] me got stressful job
[sotongman] ooh i c
[Self] he also stress what
[Self] u know design right?
[Self] he took fisherman's fren
[Self] or some other mints
[sotongman] he can maybe i cannot...
[Self] u not yet try how u know?
[Self] when u stress, have sex lah
[Self] that is what gfs are for
[sotongman] not even an occasional puff?
[Self] u no need ciggies
[Self] NOPE
[sotongman] no la sometimes ciggies better than sex...lol
[Self] when he first started to stop smoking
[Self] a bit susah lah
[sotongman] now no more urge??
[Self] totally tarak
[Self] clean from nicotine
[sotongman] tats good
[Self] he goes to church
[sotongman] been thinking about it
[Self] u also can go to church :)
[sotongman] i need more than church la


The Politician

[Self] maybe Badawi should organise the smoking campaign
[Self] give RM 100k every week for ppl who stop smoking
[Self] get like 50 contestants
[Self] quit in one months' time
[sotongman] kekekeke...after contest smoke oni le..
[Self] good ah?
[Self] hehe
[Self] no no
[Self] must sign contract
[sotongman] how u gonna check?


The Strategist

[Self] i think i also must start smoking liao
[sotongman] kekeke
[sotongman] dun la
[Self] since i also dont want to live that long
[sotongman] why not i buy policy 4 u..then i run u over...kekekkeke
[Self] hahahaha
[Self] must wait one year worr
[sotongman] yup
[sotongman] tats wat i heard
[Self] yeah good also huh?
[Self] heheh
[sotongman] from my insurance bud
[Self] u buy lah
[sotongman] okie
[Self] then i put your name as nominee
[sotongman] next yr this time make yourself dead ya
[Self] relationship: internet sex buddy
[sotongman] lol


The Snoop

[Self] what u usually do in the middle of the nite like this?
[sotongman] i sleep late...and get up late
[sotongman] so if no dvd to watch i come play irc...if not go cc play cs
[Self] how come never play with gf?


The Challenger

[sotongman] how many hours sex takes??? not the whole day
[Self] who says cannot?


The Challenger II

[sotongman] 15 sticks
[Self] not so bad
[Self] james used to smoking 2 packs a day
[Self] he also can quit
[Self] come on lah
[Self] you cannot quit, then you are a pussy


The Challenger III

[sotongman] u dunno i bisexual aah
[Self] i know u are a perv
[sotongman] bisexual perv
[Self] :)
[Self] being a bi already renders u a perv
[Self] ahaha
[sotongman] u haven’t seen me in full force yet :p
[Self] a perv is a perv
[Self] irregardless gender preference
[Self] :)
[Self] u never gimme chance to experience your full force
[Self] :p
[sotongman] :ppppppp


The Sex Therapist

[Self] is there a meaning to life?
[sotongman] yeah
[sotongman] enjoy :)
[Self] aiseh
[Self] u think i dont enjoy meh?
[Self] every weekend booze party
[Self] here go there go
[Self] play here play there
[Self] probably i am just lack of sex
[Self] or rather, sexless/celibate
[Self] that is why i am so depressed
[sotongman] then life seems very full to me

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