IN MOTHER'S EYES

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

John Meyer, Daughters

Yesterday, we threw our mother a birthday celebration.

Like any mothers and daughters, we do have our good and bad times together. For my family, especially the conventional Chinese, we hardly show our affection towards each other. It is so difficult.

Gestures of respect and love are shown discretely; like buying her something to eat when I came back from my trips, calling home if I am going home late in order not to worry her, helping out with house chores (which is very rare in my case as I am hardly home and my sister is the full time maid), giving her a massage on her arthritis knee, putting a blanket on her when the night is cold, sending her off to the clinic, etc.

When we argue, at times, I wished that the earth would open up and swallow me whole. Since both of us are quite temperamental, (with me having the worse temper) we always ended up arguing over the slightest issues, and my sister would always act as a mediator to calm us down.

I have learnt one valuable lesson from all these arguments. Mothers are like customers – no matter how irrational they are, they are always right.

At times, I wonder what I have done to deserve such a good mother. I am not fit enough to be her daughter. I think she deserve someone better as a daughter. Someone like my sister. Someone who would dot on her and help around the house.

I am the rebellious type. A wander lust. A free spirit.

“You are exactly like your mother. Always going places when she was younger. She is a wanderer, just like you,” my aunt always reminds me that of my mother whenever she sees me packing for every other weekend rendezvous.

All mothers think their children are the best. In her eyes, she always think her children are the best gift that God has given to her, even if her children are not as good looking as she is, lack of talents, lack of wit, lack of this and that. It pains my heart that I cannot live up to her expectations.

I guess every mother always hope for the best for their children. They maybe pushy and demanding at times, but they just hope that you would turn up to be okay and she would be able to move on to the next world in peace.

Before we start bitching about how un-understanding our mothers are, we should sit back and ponder: Orphans who wish that they have mothers to fuss over them, tsunami victims who had lost their mothers to the raging waves, mothers who perished in the mine field in Cambodia, mothers who died of AIDS, mothers who only give birth to you and sent you away, mothers who gamble their lives away, mothers who suffered from depression anxiety, abusive mothers, mothers who ran away, etc.

For those who still have their mothers with them, be grateful.

I hope that in every small gesture that I make, I would show my mother that I actually care for her and only wish to give her happiness.

I may not be the best daughter, but I will give my best to make the remaining half of her life worth living, as she had made mine so, since the first day I see the light.

Thanks Ed, for the inspiration.