THE STORY OF AH LONG

While having lunch at Kanna Curry House one fine Saturday afternoon, Mae asked me about loan sharks.

Mae: Say, if you were to borrow RM10,000 and the interests come up to RM50,000. Would the loan sharks accept it if you pay them back only RM20,000?

James: Why the hell you ask that question for??

Mae: It is better than not returning money at all, right? Afterall, you already get back your cost of RM10,000. So, how? Can ah?

I was dumb founded.

I went home and asked my mother. She laughed. She asked me if Mae is in need of money, we could ask favors from our “uncle”. I have distant relatives who are/ were loan sharks.

Lok Lok and Sasha’s dads were loan sharks. Now it is difficult to do business since there are too many highlights on Ah Long messing with people's lives. A few rotten eggs spoiling the market. That is why sometimes, they even owe my mother money for baby sitting their kids. My mother in turn had to threaten them to pay us or they can take their kids home. (Nobody wants to baby sit these two monsters – trust me). I think they should hire my mother instead to help them get their debts back! Now, since their loan shark business flopped, both dads had venture into business – must be something legal or else, why are they still broke?

Frankly speaking, if you have a business at risk, you would do anything to salvage it. When the banks or financial institutions close their doors on you, you would have no choice but to turn to Ah Long’s help.

Not all Ah Longs are cold blooded and menace of the society. They loan you money when other means failed, and the people who took loan from them should understand the consequences rather than blaming them as blood suckers or is out there to give you a shit life, when you cannot afford to pay back.

I have some friends who get money from Ah Longs and when they paid them back on time or delay a few days, they are alright. Afterall, Ah Longs don’t want you to die because if you were to kick the bucket, who the hell would pay back your debts? You don’t have insurance to cover debts to Ah Longs.

One piece of advice – for WHATEVER reason, NEVER EVER BORROW FROM AH LONG. If for some reason, YOU HAVE TO, remember you will HAVE TO PAY BACK with HIGH INTERESTS. They can be hostile when provoked. Some people loan money without thinking of how they are going to pay them back. They ran away leaving their shit to their family to clear up. Let their families being humiliated. It is not Ah Long’s intention to do this. It is to act as a deterrent to others from doing the same shit, borrow and run away.

Some people, for the love of God, borrow money to feed their gambling habits, or to maintain glamorous lifestyle when their businesses failed to bring profits just to boost their ego, etc. So far, I haven’t heard of anyone borrowing money for noble deeds like helping their loved ones who are sick. When they couldn't pay back and Ah Longs came after their asses, they cried murder, acting as victims - when in the real light, Ah Longs were the ones at the losing end.

In fact, credit cards nowadays are the legal Ah Longs. The difference is, as long as you pay your minimum, they won’t come after you. And they charge you a high interest on your debts, 18% a year! Credit cards are the money making machine of the century.

It is not that I condone the unscrupulous acts of the Ah Long’s. Not all Ah Longs are pieces of shit. You can put yourself in Ah Long’s shoes – they are the ones who helped you when others refused. But be prepared to pay more, as the money loaned are all instant cash. Ah Longs too have families like you and me. They have to work too, hungry mouths to feed, bills to pay, etc. They are like us, working their asses off to go on with their lives.

If you don’t intend to pay them back – DON’T BORROW. When your business flop, declared yourself a bankrupt, rather than borrowing for the sake of protecting your bruised ego, living in the run, and giving your family hell.

If you think I am saying this because I don’t know what hell had the victims of loan sharks been through, well you are wrong. I have seen living proof of families wrecked by senseless borrowings and it involved people close to me. I know what I am talking about.

Answer to Mae’s question?

Yes you may. But be prepared to run for your life.