ENDLESS PURSUIT

A few months ago, I received a thoughtful text from Ryne, enquiring my immobility status…

Hi Gina. How are you? Is your car back from kenari hospital? There was a time when I didn’t have my car for 3 weeks so I can definitely sympathize. Hope all is ok with you.

Actually quite syok having no car. Can buat buat kesian and get free rides. Ha ha. It’s gonna be ok this weekend. Hope so! A lot of shit to do. Thanks for your thought. Very sweet of you.

Playing the damsel in distress are you? V good. Keep up the good work. Milk it for all its worth. It’s not often we have ppl worry and fuss over us.

But all my knights in shining armour are women. Do you think I should change my sexual orientation? I seem to have better luck with women. Ha ha. Eh. You have people to fuss over you with or without crisis. This is the beauty of having a relationship.

How true. Perhaps you shud change your sexual orientation. Don’t all straight men hang around lesbians coz they are hoping they can see some woman on woman action? Isn’t it ironic that you have to be gay to attract the opposite sex? Does that mean a gay has to be straight to attract the same sex? Food for thought…

Okay.. I don’t know how we could end up having this conversation. Come to think of it, doesn’t this make life more interesting?

Do we have to pretend to be someone else in order to attract people?

Do we need to fake it to find love?

Why humans are always pursuing something they can’t have?

If curiosity kills the cat, it is the endless pursuit that kills a man.

Every year, it seems to be harder for people to be together, even with the internet, radio, telephone, efficient transportation, etc. I have loads of friends who are still single at my age. Mind you, they are working professionals with high flying jobs and reasonably good looks.

Don’t we all wish that, things were as simple as the good old days where the arranged marriage of our grandparents and parents’ marriages and their marriages were built to last a lifetime.

People’s perception changes as the years go by. People now have more expectations of the person they are going to spend the rest of their lives with. Some of them even have unrealistic expectations too impossible to fulfill.

When they could not find someone, they would come to you and complain of their woes – “Why am I not attached? What is wrong with people? Why God is so unfair??” – When in actual fact, the question that they supposed to be asked is, what is wrong with themselves?

Well meaning friends would console you that your turn is not up yet, or you haven’t really found someone who truly appreciates you. Blah blah blah.

I think this is all quite subjective.

You have your own expectations, and people have theirs too. If you could write-off a person for not fulfilling your requirements, the person that you would be/are interested in, could do the same to you. Like the saying goes, what goes around, comes around.

Here are the sample stories of endless pursuits:-

No. 1

An acquaintance is superbly materialistic. She expects her dates to bring her dining in posh places, shower her with presents whenever the men travel overseas, and she judges a man by the car that he drives. She would measure against her own Key Performance Index (which measures only rich, filthy rich, bloody rich) on how this man would fulfil her luxurious lifestyle. She once stop dating a man coz he ONLY drives a Kelisa. She, on the other hand, is not even close to rich. She drives a Wira and has a modest job in a small company, yet she lives as if she is Paris Hilton. And she wonders why she is still single.

No. 2

A friend who always condemn other people, claiming that the girls are either too ugly or too fat, etc to be his girlfriend, when he himself, didn’t even take a good look into the mirror before saying that. And he wonders why he is still single.

No. 3

Another acquaintance who only knew how to condemn her dates and never had a good remark about them. How on earth would others see the good in you when you yourself could never see good in others? And she wonders why she is still single.

No. 4

This friend cannot accept the fact that certain couples are meant to be together. She complained about her girlfriend who married a good looking and rich architect and now living comfortably in a semi-D house. She condemned that if such an ugly woman could get a handsome prince, she would’ve gotten an emperor. I told her to seek psychological advice and stop wondering why she is still single.

There is no explanation of attraction when it comes to love. People would just fall in love even if they knew you are a drug addict, a whore, a lazy bum, etc. There have been living cases on these.

I guess the only way to make it, is probably learning to give, stop condemning each other – if you don’t like him/her, just leave and move on, accept the fact that certain old habits die hard, accept the fact that everyone is imperfect, always be considerate when it comes to a relationship, please look into the mirror before condemning the other person and stop wondering why are you still single and enjoy a day at a time as if it were your last.