LIFE BEGINS AT 30?

This week had been hectic.

Firstly, my cousin brother’s marriage registration in Thean Hou temple on Valentine’s Day itself together with 142 other couples. I took the day off to be the photographer. There was an unexplained horrendous jam that morning. I was glad though, that I turned out at the nick of time to snap pics while the group of 143 couples congregated to take a group photo with the Chief Monk and the organizers of the mass marriage registration. The sun was bright and the sky was blue. All in all, it was a good day to get married.

Blessed Wedding

Tomorrow night, our family will be adjourning to Port Dickson to celebrate the wedding. It is going to be fun, having our beloved aunts from Port Weld, Taiping with us. I have yet to recover from my tragic sunburnt though.

My birthday celebration was taken to the top notch this year. As much as I wanted to keep it simple, my friends had other ideas. I was surprised with a bouquet of gerberas and a cake at the Loft. At home over the weekend, my sister bought my tarot-reading cousin sister (her birthday is one day earlier than mine) and I, a vanilla ice cream cake. The kids were too excited that they blew the candles way before we finished singing the birthday song. My office colleagues took me to lunch at Dome and put a candle on a brownie with vanilla ice cream. Most memorable of all, Ed baked me red velvet cake and invited me to dinner with his close friends. I am 80 years old this year – considering the amount of candles I extinguished over the week.

A reader previously suggested that I should list down the presents that I’ve gotten for my birthday this year. As I have emphasized in a reply to her; it is not the presents that serves as a measurement of a friendship; it is always the thought that counts. I would be happy enough if my friends remember my birthday and send me a text or call me to wish me or if they insist, take me to lunch or dinner, which most of my friends did. If they don’t remember, it is also fine. It is hard to remember someone else other than your most loved one on this special day.

I don’t look forward to receiving things from people. I feel that it’s a waste of hard earned money – and also at times, things given might be impractical. Friends who know me best; understand that I don’t expect anything from them on such occasion. Nevertheless, I thank them for the kind thoughts and generosity.

Ed's Italiano dinner and Red Velvet cake!

Four singletons were invited over for dinner at Ed’s place on Valentine’s Day. I jokingly remarked, was it because we were singles that Ed took a pity on us and cook us Valentine's Day dinner. Or maybe it was his selfish agenda to keep him company? Ha ha. He knew I was kidding.

This group shared the same sentiment of being single. We were not exactly happy being single, as we could get horny at times...err.. I mean, lonely. Having someone with you doesn’t guarantee you being happier either. It depends on the way you look at things. In our society, especially the Chinese who emphasizes on inheritance, we were very much pressured into finding a suitor to bring a family up. It proved to be more difficult when you are gay. How are you supposed to tell your parents? I admire Ed for his courage and will, in not conforming to the norm of the society, at the same time, agonnizing over the pain that he had gone through to finally accept that he’s a homosexual.

For me, I think, whatever actions we have taken, would be accounted for. We live to be answerable to ourselves and also to God (if any) when we die. It doesn’t matter what other people think. As long as we had done our best to live and love this life, it is good enough. It is important to learn to detach ourselves from a nagging problem. Every problem has a solution. You need to look beyond your problem, seek help if needed and do not dwell in them for too long.

A friend’s friend died in a scuba diving accident recently, which caught all his friends, off guard. He was at his peak in his highly charged career and was ready to start a family. The unexpected happened, he died doing the hobby he loved most. We pray that God would bless his soul and hope that he is in better hands now. When it’s time, it’s time. Nothing can escape fate.

Life is indeed too short to be constantly worried about too many things. No doubt, life is unpredictable and impermanent; there are still things to look forward in life. My birthday had proved that there are people out there who loved me for who I am, and accepted me for my shortcomings and weaknesses.

So, what did I wish for my birthday? Simple. I hope each and everyone of my friends would remain positive and safe. As for the 5 of us on the Valentine’s Day dinner, we hope to remain positively single.

I think my life began way earlier before pushing 30. My instinct tells me that, at 30, it’s going to be as good as it gets.