MORONS ON THE RADIO
Yesterday night, after dropping WY off her house, I was on my long way home. I decided to drive slowly while tuning up the radio. It has been awhile since I last driven alone with the radio on full blast. I miss these moments where I could gather thoughts running haphazardly through my mind, systematically analyze them, trying to discern a solution, and get to talk to myself out loud without other people noticing (shit, I am getting very imaginary nowadays) while miraculously reach home in one piece.
Since I was quite fed up with the songs on Mix.fm, it’s always the same, I decided to change channel. I turned on 98.8, the Chinese station.
It was Chan Fong’s "Aunt Agony" program where he’s gonna be bloody sarcastic to those hapless forlorn lovers who called up. This should be darn interesting!
Sometimes, you really feel like slapping those stupid callers who tried to air their grievances (stupidity) in public.
For instance, yesterday’s conversation was something like this (direct translation from Cantonese):
Since I was quite fed up with the songs on Mix.fm, it’s always the same, I decided to change channel. I turned on 98.8, the Chinese station.
It was Chan Fong’s "Aunt Agony" program where he’s gonna be bloody sarcastic to those hapless forlorn lovers who called up. This should be darn interesting!
Sometimes, you really feel like slapping those stupid callers who tried to air their grievances (stupidity) in public.
For instance, yesterday’s conversation was something like this (direct translation from Cantonese):
Caller No. 1
Caller: .. after six months, she decided to break up with me….. she said, I lied to her and I cheated her…
CF: What did you do?
Caller:…. I didn’t do anything.. blah blah blah…
CF: Listen to yourself. You said, you want to spend time with her but you didn’t. And yet, you said you didn’t lie to her. Does it mean, not keeping a promise is not a way of cheating?
Caller: You can say that.
Me: Fuck you lah!! WHAT - you can say that – it is CHEATING. You are an idiot!!
CF: You are very weird.
Me: Stop talking to him Chan Fong! Cut off the line!!
Caller:…… I am working in Penang, while she is in Batu Pahat…. So it’s hard to maintain a long distance relationship. I want my career as well, so that we could have a better life…..
CF: You can’t have the cake and eat it you know? From the way you are saying, I think you emphasize on your career more than your girlfriend.
Caller: I love her very much you know.
Me: Only six months lah you fucker! Obviously you haven’t bed her yet and worried you might not have chance to get into her pants. You would say anything just to do that!!!
CF: By saying you love her, and not with actions is no point.. blah blah blah……
I really salute Chan Fong for his patience with idiots.
CF: Ok lah. You better go and think of your actions……
*Music*
Caller: Can I dedicate a song?
CF: Say something, fast.
Caller: Chan Fong, hello? Can I dedicate a song?
CF: Faster lah.
Caller: Hello? Can I dedicate a song?
Me: KNLBCCB. Speak up lah you moron!!!
CF: 10 seconds!!
Caller: I cannot dedicate a song?
Me: CCB!!!!!!!
CF: Say lah!!!!
Caller: Ok. Just tell her that I love her.
Me: No wonder your gf left you!
Caller No. 2
Caller: My name is John.
CF: Hello John.
Caller: … my gf and I are from university, we went for our 3 months training and when she came back from training, she is no longer the girl I used to know…. Then I found out, she actually came to know a guy from work.. and they got on pretty well. We never had any problems before. But she has changed since she met this guy… she didn’t tell me that she met a guy but I got to know from her e-mail to…
Me: What?? You snoop on her??
Caller: And then.. I came to know that she had slept with that guy!! Her first time you know!!! Now I feel like I am wearing the green hat!! (Cantonese: Tai Lok Mou – meaning your gf/wife left you for another man because you are such a useless bastard). How would you feel leh?? When your gf gave her first time to another man? She supposed to belong to me!!!
CF: I can’t believe that this come out from the mouth of a university grad. What era are we living in right now? blah blah blah....
Me: Virginity is overrated ok!! You can sleep around whenever if you like.
Caller: I cannot take it. Should I forgive her misdeeds? Blah blah blah….
Me: For Christ’s sake. You come from kampong is it?? Even married people nowadays sleep with other people lah. Men can even sleep with men, women with women. What's wrong with you, man? You can have sex with whoever you want man!! Don’t get mad! Get even!!
Caller: *Sob* sob* I love her so much, why is she doing this to me? Why?
I couldn’t really remember what CF said, but it was very apparent that CF found this rather amusing from the numerous chuckles when the boy kept on talking about how important virginity is.
I think this caller needs to watch more Sex and the City.
I salute Chan Fong for his patience. I know how hard it is to deal with moronic people who think LURRVEEEE is everything.
Comments
On the cancer thingy, I dreamt of Bob Marley yesterday who coincidently had also died of cancer. Did a post this morning on this weird dream and now I’m reading your blog on the dreaded disease. *Shivers*
I listen to reggae sometimes but not really a fan of his. Haven’t really been able to interpret this dream yet.
Trisha | Homepage | 10.14.06 – 6:19 pm | #
——————————————————————————–
if u spell lurvveeee, it becomes lorvi instead of love. it should be LUUUUUURRRVE. lol
anyway, if i ever hv a chance, i’d tune in to it too, usually when i drive home frm supper..rather dinner, with M. cursed like hell listening to it, but salute CF!!
takeshi | 10.15.06 – 4:11 am | #
——————————————————————————–
What?! You mean love isn’t everything? Damn…
stevo | Homepage | 10.15.06 – 1:49 pm | #
——————————————————————————–
A conditioned mind views the same event differently at different times, depending on the emotion states, level of energy, environment, and also if it directly/indirectly impacts the person as the center of all issues. Probably you might have a different view when you listen to them on better days. These ‘morons’, as you describe them, might trigger compassion, instead of disgust.
Lastly, I enjoy your blog tremendously. I think it is articulate, sophisticated and true.
sheep | 10.15.06 – 5:29 pm | #
——————————————————————————–
You can try the dream moods link at the right hand sidebar of this blog and piece them together.
To see a famous singer in your dream, represents harmony and some divine influence or vibrations. It indicates glorification of the human spirit. Consider also your general impression of this singer and how those specific qualities may be triggered by someone or some situation in your waking life.
Takeshi: No matter how love is spelt, it brings the same happiness and sufferings, only at different degrees.
Stevo: Aiyah – there is a lot of types of love mah. Lovers’ love, love for nature, love for mankind, love for siblings, love for God (eerr.. I can’t believe I said this), love for the country… I meant the love that makes you can’t live without a person. I don’t believe the potency of such love. Or probably I have yet to experience such love.
sheep: Eh, thanks. I know I talk crap at times. Yes, probably they trigger compassion instead of disgust. Not many people see things as simplistic as everyone else. I happened to be someone who think in simple terms. Not to complicate matters.. even if sometimes, unintentionally complicated them. Sigh.
Gina | Homepage | 10.15.06 – 10:52 pm | #
——————————————————————————–
Shows there are still people alive out there who are living in the clouds. We should recommend Chan Fong for a datukship, for her patience.
fishtail | Homepage | 10.16.06 – 12:32 am | #
——————————————————————————–
hey, don’t blast virginity ok?? I’m still a virgin, and i want to save my first time for my future spouse *does a Britney Spears impresssion*
Muahaha. Yea, to each his own i suppose. While I applaud those who decide to wait for their ‘one’, i despise those MCP bastards (some I call my friends, unfortunately) who insist their fiture wives must be virgins, while they’re happily screwing around. F*cking hypocrites.
Vagus | Homepage | 10.16.06 – 7:38 am | #
——————————————————————————–
fishtail: Chan Fong is a male. LOL.
Vagus: Ah?!! Virgin boy?! You belong to the almost extinct species liao leh! Haha! True about hypocrites. Don’t you love to be a man? You don’t really have the virginity issue, you could always fake it.
Gina | Homepage | 10.16.06 – 1:56 pm | #
——————————————————————————–
Err I heard of his program before, he used to be sarcastic to listener and I do heard him giving crude advise, but after reading ur blog I guess he changed his style? Hmmm….but anyway it’s not easy to host this kinda show, advising ppl on the air…
WY | 10.27.06 – 2:09 pm | #