MURDER AT 0100

I was going about my business on my lap top last night when suddenly, there was a buzzing sound on top of my head. Thinking that it might be just a beetle, I didn’t even bother to look up.

I went about my business again, till this “beetle” stopped on the top of my right arm. I turned to look at it but it flew away.

Again, I went on with my stuffs.

The final straw came when the buzzing sound above me was getting a bit on my nerve. I looked up. To my horror, there were five bees on top of my head, thinking that the fluorescent light above me was their hive.

Ignoring them might cause a dire consequence. I have a family to protect here. What if these bees suddenly went berserk and tried to attack the two kids at home.

Since it was already 1 am, everyone else was fast asleep, with the exception of someone at home who thinks talking to a boy on the phone at 1 am every night means, they were merely friends; I had to take this myself.

I went to search for the insecticide aerosol spray, which I believed contributed no less to the thinning of ozone layer.

Making sure the aerosol spray was at least half full, (I didn’t want the bees to wake up from its temporary unconscious state and counter attack me with sheer vengeance) I stood on a chair and sprayed mercilessly at them.

I panicked when the number of bees exceeded the five which I initially counted. There were about 10 bees hovering over my head for the past 1 hour!! I sprayed and sprayed as they flew towards me. Scenes of fighting with light sabers ala Starwars came to my mind.

They fell like kamikaze pilots, frantically humming from the beat of their wings against the floor. The incessant humming sound made the scene looked like a B grade movie: Attack of the Hums.

Not wanting to take chances, I took out the broom and the dust pan from the kitchen and squashed the bees before they could fly again – nowadays, insecticide seemed to have very little effect on insects, especially mosquitoes and cockroaches.

I went to search for the fallen bees, and squashed the bees one at a time. I know they didn’t deserve to die this way but I guess they are better off dead. I won’t take any chances of letting them sting the family. (I thought of doing it the “Buddha” way – opening the door to let the bees fly outside themselves – which proved to be too risky in the end… read on…).

Yet, the humming continued. I was puzzled.

I searched every corner in my living room for the bees. I followed the sound of the humming and looked outside my house – Omigod! Mother bee, father bee, grandpa bee, grandma bee, little bees (in fact, I think the entire colony is outside!) etc were still hovering on both fluorescent lights outside my house compound.

For the first time in my life, I thanked God for lizards.