KOLAM

Last week, I was pleasantly surprised when I went to the loo. I saw Madam V, my office’s tea lady who made kick-ass Nescafé, in the pantry, busy mixing rice with colors to make the traditional Indian Kolam in my office.

So, I went to keh poh (Hokkien: Busy body). I asked the fellow Indian colleagues what’s the symbolic gesture in doing kolam, and Madam V, being the oldest Indian lady didn’t even know how to explain. She just did for the sake of doing it, every Deepavali.

Like my household, who pray to Chinese Deities like the Jade Emperor, Goddess of Mercy, Teh Choo Kong (Earth God?) and Kitchen God, none of us know how to go about praying to the deities except for our mothers. No one bother to learn the ropes to continue this tradition. We only know that, when suddenly there is a big makan makan in the house – it is one of the deities’ birthdays or some other auspicious occasions marked in the Lunar Calender and not the Gregorian’s. Kinda sad really.

So, I went online to search for the meaning of displaying a Kolam.

Decoration was not the sole purpose of a Kolam. In olden days, kolams used to be drawn in coarse rice flour, so that the ants don't have to work so hard for a meal. The rice powder is said to invite birds and other small critters to eat it, thus inviting other beings into one's home and everyday life: a daily tribute to harmonious co-existence. Not to be underestimated is the benefits for the artist to bend down each morning - it is said to help her digestive system, reproductive organs and to help overall stretching of the body. It is a sign of invitation to welcome all into the home, not the least of whom is Goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of prosperity. The patterns range between geometric and mathematical line drawings around a matrix of dots to free form art work and closed shapes. Folklore has evolved to mandate that the lines must be completed so as to symbolically prevent evil spirits from entering the inside of the shapes, and thus are they prevented from entering the inside of the home. For more...

Thank God for the internet.

Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!

P/S I've been asked by numerous friends on what I am gonna do during this long week of holiday... well, here is the list.. due to popular demand (Ahaks!) Please do call me for yum cha, anytime..

----- Original Message -----
From: Party Girl
To: Gina

wahhhhh.. you are really hard to book... please also blog your schedule .. easier to date you then ...hehehhehee ...

----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: : Party Girl

Deepa-Raya week

1 November – Going to Klang for mini makan trip
2 November - Comatose at home
3 November – BBQ at Yvonne’s house
4 November – Lunch at Kanna Curry House & Dinner at Coffee Bean
5 November – WY's sister's wedding buffet lunch
6 November – Slip to another coma before work

OCTOBER FEST - GINA'S STYLE

Happy Halloween!

So much hype has been given to the October Fest in One Utama last week – fellow Malaysians were as kiasu as their Singaporean counterparts – beer for RM1, pay minimum amount for eat-all-you-can sausages, queuing in almost every stall, jam packed like sardines… etc.

To avoid unpleasantness in big crowds – groping, sweaty armpits, pick pockets, etc, I decided to have my very own October Fest – MY WAY.

Another year is passing, so there will be a major booze party to celebrate friendship. Since WY’s birthday fall on this month, and there would be a long holiday after that, we decided to throw a party to gather both our old and newfound friends around together.

Invitation e-mail was sent earlier:-

We would like to cordially invite you to the wildest party of the year:-

Where and time? Withheld to avoid unnecessary party crashing
When? Tonight!!!
What about? Saja lah - Get Wasted
What to wear? As this is not a Halloween party, COME AS YOU ARE. (Some people look scary without any costumes). If you wanna come as a belly dancer, we won’t stop you either. Please be advised to wear pants. Some games are gonna get really sleazy and nasty.

Special Appearance

Pornstar Tiffany and her dildos show.

List of Invitees (Entrance is strictly by invitation only)

The Bar Fly Boys (Bee Stung Lips, Sam (not the stalker), Chris and CK), Sekinchan Boy, Ms Lactose, Budak Kilang, Mun Yee – my lucky star, Pr0digy, Ed, pornstar Tiffany, Sexy Sharon, hot babe Caroline, YY + partner, Anny (Second No. 1 fan), Joseph Loves-Anal, Dennis a.k.a. Yabba, Jess, Gladys, Yik

I invited Ann, my first no. 1 fan but she mati-mati doesn’t want to come, saying, she doesn’t drink and not willing to be assigned as the puke collector. Lansi habis. Ish… ish.

Itinerary

07.00 pm Arrival of guests
07.30 pm Dinner
08.30 pm Games with drinks (strictly no stripping please, we are conservative people)
10.30 pm Will smoke if get a bit tipsy (strictly no drugs. Cigarettes are not provided, bring your own)
10.45 pm Sleazy games and drink some more
12.00 am Drink till you drop

What’s for Dinner, Hun?

We came to conclusions that it is best to have a pot luck party.

Here are the lists of things to be brought by individual persons:-

Gina – Popiah & Something else
Ed – Vegetarian dish
WY –Tiramisu
Tiffany – fried mee hoon & dildo (oops – dildo is not food, I beg your pardon)
Ms Lactose – Ayam Ponteh
Sekinchan Boy – Henessey VSOP
CK – drinks
Lucky Star - Jelly
Budak Kilang - Tuna Sandwich
Joseph LA - Snacks

For those who doesn’t know how to cook/ do not have a cook at home, please come with the following:-

Ribena – One Bottle
Ice Cream Soda – 2 bottles
Coke – 2 bottles
Tonic
Lotsa ice

Kindly coordinate so that we don’t have repetitions.

What’s at the Bar, Dude?

Absolut Vanilla
Hennessey VSOP
Bombay Sapphire
Merlot

* Feel free to add variety to the watering hole

Essential information:

Please park outside at the open car park as parking rate at XYZ Condo is on hourly basis – fucking expensive.

Please call Gina or WY when you reach the lobby. You would need access card to go up to the condo.

Anyone who is too drunk to drive home, be rest assured there will be 3 rooms in this condo for you to crash in. If you wanna have sex, condoms and ky jelly are NOT provided, so bring your own. (Update: Chris said he would bring condoms for everyone)

Check out by noon, 30 October 2005.

Important notice:

There will be a flat rate of RM10-RM15 per person to cover costs of room rental and liquor.

Please do not trash this place beyond recognition as I might need to book it again when my outstation relatives come to stay a night for my brother’s wedding next year!

If were to compare last year’s booze party, this year’s definitely rock!

Update: Chris’ sister, Michelle, is miraculously conscious and accepting the fate that befell her with so much positiveness. The doctors were puzzled as her conditions usually would be fatal, but she is still being placed in ICU for further observation. Thank God!! Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. Michelle even told Chris not to miss this party because of her and said she would be alright.

Have a good weekend and long holiday everyone.

Other Intoxicating Story

Stoned
Invitation to Booze Party
Party of Five
Post Mortem: Port Dickson
Booze Party at Golden City
The Mating Game
Girl About Town

Gawd... I am a bloody alcoholic!!

IS THIS GOD'S CRUEL JOKE?

I have a bad news today.

Chris called me this morning and he sobbed. This ain’t the first time. The first time was when he conveyed a message about the passing of his beloved grandmother late last year. This time, something shitty happened to his sister.

It was bizarre as he was making fun of me just exactly a week ago about my accident. Chris regretted for pulling that prank and told me karmic effect didn’t take long this time.

I was petrified as I didn’t mean anything when I told Chris to watch out. It was meant to be a joke, I know. I certainly hope this didn’t happen because of the silly prank!! It was merely a coincidence… a cruel one in fact. God, I feel so fucked up.

His sister, Michelle, was studying hard for her exams, kept herself awake with cups upon cups of coffee. She hasn’t slept well for days.

Yesterday her lack of sleep took a toll on her and the unfortunate happened.

At 11.30 pm, she met with an accident on the way home from the library with a friend. I heard her Kelisa overturned a few times before she was flung out of the windshield and her head slammed against the pavement.

Onlookers didn’t help. All they did was stared at the puddle of blood in which she was in and ignored the other friend inside the car, pleas for help.

It was an agonizing moment till three Indian guys came with the tow truck and they managed to get Michelle to the hospital and helped the other friend out of the car.

What the fuck is wrong with Malaysians??? Chris reasoned. Probably his sister would have died as the onlookers just stared at her and did nothing, if weren’t for the three Indian men.

I told Chris to calm down as probably people were worried that if they shift Michelle’s body, they might hurt her more than helping her. It is best to leave it for the ambulance to come to her aid.

But what about helping the other friend in the car???

Yeah – the onlookers were bloody fucked up. MCH. KNLBCCB.

Michelle is now in Intensive Care Unit in the hospital, suffering from multiple skulls fractures. She had a hole behind her head and a major laceration on her forehead, and would need a plastic surgery.

We hope that she would get out of ICU soon and be on speedy recovery. Let us pray that she could come in terms with her condition.

Sometimes, when all these shitty things happened to our loved ones, we wonder where is God? Or wonder is there a God? We would blame everything and everyone. It is useless to regret this and that, all the should haves and shouldn't haves. Certain things happen beyond our control. Shit happens, whether we like it or not.

Don’t drive when we are tired or drunk. We were powerless to gamble with fate, but it doesn’t hurt to be extra cautious. Life is fragile, cherish it.

LIGHTNING TEA

Contrary to the name suggest, “Looi Char” doesn’t have any “ZING” taste to it. One needs to have an acquired taste* when it comes to eating “Looi Char”. Lightning Tea is the direct translation from Cantonese for this delicacy. I know.. it sounded kinda silly.

*Not many people know how to appreciate this delicacy. Some of my colleagues said it taste weird.

It is a perfect vegetarian dish. It consists of 9 ingredients; finely chopped long beans, white radish, taufoo, beans, sesame seed, coriander leaves, the green leaves that pan mein uses (dunno wads the name!), and some other unidentified leaves or greens. Dried shrimps could be added to taste for non vegetarians.

The thick greenish yellow gravy that comes with it, is made of a type of tea leaves (not green tea even it is green in color) mixed with peanut and sesame oils. You may want to add some hot water to it before eating with rice and the mixture of greens.

The greens are lightly stirred fried in peanut oil, which brings out the aroma of the dish.

This can be found in Taman Muda, Ampang (in front of a Dobby shop, behind the market, next to Ruby Ice Kacang stall) for only RM3.50 for one serving. For small eaters, one serving could be shared by two person. Open only for breakfast from Monday to Saturday.

One good thing of eating this – probably you get all the fibre you need in one meal for the entire week. The downside of it, you need to floss your teeth vigarously every time after eating as the finely chopped vegetables tend to stick to your teeth. I went through the whole day with a green spot on my front teeth. So embarrassing.

Guess this is gonna be my staple diet for awhile.

FAMILY DAY OUT

Sasha trying to build a sand castle using Lok Lok as foundation

I drove quite a distance of some 580 kms over the weekend in my Ferrari. I feel lethargic and wanting to fake another medical leave from work today, but I decided against it. It was tiring, yet, a fun weekend.

My sis and I planned for a family outing for months and we finally decided to go to Port Dickson and Melaka – to cater the needs of everyone – the old, the young and the monsters. Sasha and Lok Lok’s parents were happy that we would be bringing their children for an outing – it is weird to have kids when you have no time for them. Might as well don’t give birth!! As we had taken them in as our very own flesh and blood, we didn’t really mind. Anyway, it was good to have toddlers to go on outings with us – they would be the center of attention and the 10 of us would fuss over them.

This outing consists of 10 adults, 2 children and 3 cars. Adults consist of my first aunt, mother and third aunt, (Fourth aunt could not join us as she has to work), nomadic cousin brother and girlfriend, tarot reading cousin sister and her garbage manager sister, my char siew brother, stick insect sister and myself. Father and uncle as usual would shy away from traveling with us as they could not stand waiting for 2 hours for their turn to go to the loo.

We shared a two-bedroom apartment in Teluk Kemang – which I got for a cheaper rate for contributing RM5 (per month) religiously to my company’s club fund. We are simple people with simple needs, so the facilities, even if not as good and cozy as the other apartments, we just made do with whatever we have. The ultimate motive is, to get our families together and have fun.

The first day was spent entirely on the beach. The kids had so much fun and kept on playing by the seaside under watchful eyes of the adults. My aunts took turns to have a picnic on the grass. There was a baptism ceremony taking place at the beach near Bayou. Sasha was particularly delirious. We practically had to drag her off the water.

The famous salted steam crabs

We had our dinner at the Kedai Makanan Seremban – the famous salted steamed crabs. I suggested crocodile meat, but was scolded by the elderly for eating wild beasts not meant for food. I am not a fan of “yeh mei” but this shop is also famous for its farmed croc meat – taste like chicken, some of my friends commented. I never had it before, anyway.

Child Labor – Sasha peeling her own boiled egg

On the second day, after an agonizing 3 hours spent, waiting for my turn for the loo – the 12 of us took turns to go to the ONE loo in this two-bedrooms apartment, we made our way to Melaka. This time, the trip to Melaka was spearheaded by my nomadic cousin brother; who seems to know his way very well through trunk roads to avoid the jam and toll. The scenery throughout the journey was simply breath taking.

We had nyonya lunch at the over commercialized restaurant, Ole Sayang. Frankly speaking – the assam fish which was their signature dish, is such a let down. I still prefer the itik ponteh in Makko Restaurant but didn’t know how to get there. Next time, I will do some homework before leaving home.

Melaka

Because my third aunt had a bad knee, we decided not to venture too far in Melaka. We just took some pictures at Stadhuys and walked about Jonker’s Walk before calling it a day. My first aunt decided to have her holiday to the fullest by entering almost every shops along Jonker’s Walk and sampling every dish on the way. My third aunt was amazed that people could practically sell anything along the side of the road in Jonkers’ Walk. She was particularly tickled by the sight where a stall was set up right in front of a temple, selling shrimp paste and sambal belacan. So I told my third aunt jokingly, “You are not trying to picture yourself, selling your famous rojak here, are you??”

The two kids were screaming for ice creams at almost every corner of Jonker’s Walk to add to my pounding headache. At times, you just feel like leaving them there, right on the spot where they screamed and go home. Ha ha. Children will always be children.

Then, we bumped into this man who made beautiful little figurines out of soft steel. I suddenly thought of a dear friend who passed away. We came with her to Melaka a few years ago with my sister’s university mates. This nice man gave her a bookmark, molded in her name for free as we chatted with him while seeking a shelter inside A Famosa from the basking sun. He had shifted his little stall to Jonker’s Walk.

We went to Auyin Resort Hill after basking in the hot sun, thinking that the resort would provide a better-shaded area for us to walk about. Instead, the place was infested with mosquitoes!!! We ended up being feasted over the ferociously blood suckers and decided to leave the place immediately. We should have gone to the Safari.

I guess our next trip would be planned based on levels of comfort – meaning to pay more for apartments with more toilets, and be more organized with the activities and less nature outing to avoid mosquitoes. Everything was quite haphazard this time round, nevertheless entertaining.

When we finally reached Kuala Lumpur, we had our dinner in Puchong, where my brother stays. Syabu Syabu, the steamboat place is very unique and the selling point of this outlet is the personal steamboat pot to oneself, the ambience and ultimately, its dip made of fried onions, sesame oils, peanut oils, spring onions, etc.. which deserve a post entirely by itself in this blog. I will do so in due course.

I felt lethargic throughout the day today in the office, but was lethargically happy. There will be more trips with the family in the future, before the elderly no longer capable to walk about that much. We were already thinking of a cruise in the near future.

I guess our parents just prefer us to spend more time with them, irregardless the place/destination. Even if by merely staying home on weekends, that would have make them very happy.

We could never thank our parents enough for what they have done for us. Our parents know that we had to work hard to earn a living and they understand if they only get to see us occasionally or only during festive seasons. I guess we should try our best to spend more time with them, or give them a call, as their time in this world is slipping by each day. We will never know when it will be the last time for us to show them our utmost love and respect.

Family Related Stories

Tale of Four Sisters
Best In Me
My Dear Sister
In Mother's Eyes
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Father
Gina's Family Values

MUSHROOM CAKE & BELLY DANCER

Thursday was Party Girl’s birthday. Here’s wishing her a great year today and many greater years ahead. May love, health, wealth and peace follow her wherever she goes.

It was a great party despite the awkward composition of the crowd. Her hometown buddies; me and Jane, my friend – CK, Eric’s (Party Girl’s husband) business associates, partners and employees, Party Girl’s customers (she once owned a pet shop business), her cousins, relatives, a Korean hair dresser and her daughter, her ex employee; Trish and Nancy, her belly dancer instructor.

Everyone came without knowing it was Party Girl’s birthday, except Trish, Jane and I. This is the thing about Party Girl. She is very generous and loves to throw parties to make sure everyone leaves with a full belly and good memories. Everyone came with bottles of wine, not knowing the occasion. We ended up with half a dozen of red and white wine.

Party Girl ordered catering from Gem Restaurant, specializing in Indian Cuisine, one of Eric’s favorite Indian restaurant. The food was simply superb and authentic. Everyone decided to screw their diet and pigged out. (This.. unfortunately applied to yours truly also). Oh man.. I will never forget the taste of Tikka Masala and onion porka. Simply fabulous. Gem Restaurant is open everyday and is situated in Damansara Utama from 11 am to 11 pm.

When you go to any of Party Girl’s parties, be prepared for the extraordinary.

We didn’t expect that Indian food would be served, and were even more surprised by a sterling performance by a belly dancer. Party Girl is learning belly dancing now in Bangsar under the wings of the famous and lovely Nancy. Nancy is from Turkey and calls Malaysia home for the past 13 years. The crowd was a shy lot. I wished we would just let our hair down and partied away. Unfortunately, most of the people who came were all prim and proper business partners of Eric’s. I guess we would get everyone drunk to get them on the dance floor, if we were not working the next day. I think Party Girl should have got everyone to dress like Indians or belly dancers to come to this party.

Since everyone was so stiff and did not want to show their wild side in this party – under scrutiny of a Managing Director (Eric), Nancy decided to change into her casual clothing and joined the crowd to pig out at the food, just like any other Malaysians.

Nancy said, this is the Malaysian culture in hosting parties. Guests would just come for the food, wishing the host best wishes and leave immediately after that. The party scenes in Turkey are totally different. Dancing is their culture and it is in their blood. As soon as they finished eating, everyone, the young and old alike, would dance the night away till energy practically drained out and everyone drop like flies.

After the dance, the singing session would start. The singing would go on and on till the host bid the guests good night. In Turkey, they literally need to throw out the guests. Nancy welcomed us to her parties in the future to prove the point., which we delightedly accepted.

The party was planned to the slightest details that even the birthday cake is extraordinary. Like jakuns, we were all gushing and fussing over this nice cake from Coffee Bean – at the same time, fret over the fact that mushrooms, being symbolic in Chinese as a taboo for any auspicious occasion – tan tong koo – meaning losing a job. However, being an ang moh sai (Hokkien: Westernized), Party Girl didn’t really bother.

After blowing the candles on the mushroom cake and exchange of well wishes, most of the guests made their way home, while Jane, CK, Trish, Party Girl’s cousin and I helped to clear up the function room. We chatted the night away in the comfort of her home about arowanas, dogs, life of the rich and famous, and disgusted over how pranksters pulled a fast one on Bernama.

Notice:

We were saddened by the fact that the late Datin Sri Endon had succumbed to her cancer and passed on. We hope that God would grant our good PM strength and may he find solace in the great work that he has done and going to do for the country.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh Allahyarham Datin Sri Endon Mahmood.

NASI LEMAK HORROR STORY

This is for illustration purposes only - bought by Sugar this morning

There has been a buying nasi lemak trend in my office for our colleagues as breakfast whenever we feel super generous. So far, we had sampled nasi lemak from Cheras, Sg. Long, Kajang, etc just to name a few.

Yesterday morning, my spinster colleague (“SC”) decided to buy us nasi lemak from her housing area. Surprised by her generous gesture, we thanked her but somehow couldn’t eat it for breakfast as the nasi lemak arrived after we finished our breakfast. All of us decided to eat it during lunch.

Usually, after tasting the nasi lemak, we would give our comments and USUALLY, the comments would be positive…. but not this time.

SC bought mee hoon for the Budgetary HOD, and the HOD gave it away to the HR Manager. HR Manager is not that lucky. After lunch, he complained that he swore to find out who is the person who packed the mee hoon for Budgetary HOD and he ended being the victim. Greed doesn’t pay.

The HR Manager complained, “You know how they make this mee hoon or not?? Take out mee hoon, soak in water. When the mee hoon turns soft, dry it and pour kicap (soya sauce) and mix. Nah.. eat.. @#$%^&*. I think this mee hoon didn’t even worth 30 sen, okay?? No taugeh, no nothing!!! I think if we feed this to the chickens, the chickens won’t even finish it, and eat only half.”

He can be a real bitch for a man. Heh.

The best part is this…. I asked SC, is this the first time that she bought the nasi lemak - she said no. She had bought a few times before, and said that the nasi lemak is NOT nice.

I thought to myself, “Wah lau yeh.... not nice some more buy so many???? Got brain or not???”

Damn. When I told Sugar, her mouth opened wide in disbelief. She finds it rather disturbing to have bought the nasi lemak if she had known is not nice. How could you yourself said, it is not nice, and yet bought the same for the rest of us? Where is the logic?

Sugar complained she had a terrible stomachache. Our VP offered her the nasi lemak, which was remained untouched in her room, but my boss refused frantically. She tried to be funny and suggested the VP to offer it to the HR Manager, who complained incessantly about the soaked mee hoon with kicap, and chickens not wanting to eat it.

12 other colleagues did not breathe a word about the tragic nasi lemak. I believe, no one dares to condemn freebies and SC might not be able to take the criticism constructively.

Skinny Finance Manager would be the last one to find out as she was on liquid diet. She kept the nasi lemak in the fridge and would be eating the nasi lemak at home tonight. Sugar asked me if we should inform SFM to fry some eggs and ikan bilis to go along with the nasi lemak. I told Sugar there is no need to do this, but let SFM figure it out and ask her for feedback tomorrow. Then we will have another round of crouching silent-and-stomach-bursting laughter in the store room. … Shit.. we are so evil!!!

Moral of the Story: It doesn’t pay to be generous and nice. .. and never ever accept whatever SC bought.

We will never look at nasi lemak the same away again.

COSMIC INTERVENTION

I have a few friends who totally dig horoscopes. Some of them live by its principles. For example, if you are an Aquarian like me, you tend to be very assertive, frank, direct and unconventional. (In short, I am a bitch). And if you are being born under the sign of Scorpio, you tend to be secretive, mysterious, keeping things to yourself and always have something playing in your head without letting others know. (Also, deemed a bitch! Ha ha!)

I have a thing for Virgos. I love Virgo men. Hugh Grant is a Virgo and I adore him. Surprisingly, I never realize this till I dated the fourth Virgo.

So, is this the truth or myth?

WY is the most superstitious friend that I ever have.

----- Original Message -----
From: WY
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 12:28 PM
Subject: RE: morning

….. SCORPIONS... we tend to keep things in our heart. Not too sure she's offended that I told you. Then I admit I told you after she asked me when she received your comforting e-mail. She didn't seem offended, but I'm sure next time she wouldn't tell me anything... ahahahahhaha....

Yeah I know you hate hypocrites... but the world is full of this kind of people, we just have to adapt to it.

----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: WY
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 12:29 PM
Subject: Re: morning

I don’t think we are all governed by the stars. Destiny is in our own hands. To say that all scorpions are secretive is a sweeping remark. Maybe most of you people (Scorpions) shared the same mysterious character, and all coincidentally are scorpions. Chris is wary of scorpions as they are all secretive lot and at times, quite dramatic.

A friend and I shared the same birthdate. But she behave like a scorpio. Her bf always complains to me - she always kuai kuai shh shh. As Aquarians, we always speak our minds and are very strong people. Strong people here doesn’t mean we don’t have a heart. Ann is an aquarian, but she is so MILD!

Certain things we don’t simply tell people. Do you think we, as aquarians, will air our dirty laundry in public? Everyone has a secret, which they would carry to the grave.

I think as long as we are comfortable with what we tell people or being told, I guess that would suffice.

I prefer people to be frank with me on issues related to me. Issues not related to me, I don’t give a shit.

----- Original Message -----
From: WY
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 12:48 PM
Subject: RE: morning

This is just a common characteristics... of SCORPIONS... ;-) they even say that we bear grudges, but I didn't, I used to in my early teens but found that it is a waste of time being unhappy over certain issues.

Still learning to let go a lot of things... and learn to be more open.... only remember happy thoughts... ;-)

True, not all secrets are meant to be shared. Break up nowadays is so common, but it's also nothing to shout about... you're right, as long as they feel comfortable sharing the information. Nothing else matters.


What about you? Are your actions governed by the Stars?

TSK TSK

As I was busy with some paper work till midnight, Chris called me at 12.30 a.m.

Chris: Hello Gina??

Self: You mad ah? What time is it? Such ungodly hour!

Chris: Are you sleeping now?

Self: If I am asleep, who is this person who is talking to you now?

Chris: Sorry, were you sleeping?

Self: Shut up. What do you want??

Chris: Do you have the Star paper today?

Self: Yes..

Chris: Can you have a look at page 26?

Self: Why? Your face in on the paper as wanted criminal?

Chris: You go and have a look. *Sounded serious and worried*

Self: ... Shit lah. What is it?

Chris: Look, then tell me, is this how it supposed to look like?

Self: Look like what??

Chris: Go see lah...

*Ruffle ruffle paper frantically.

Self: *Grunt grunt*

Chris: Found it or not?

Self: Wait lah...... ..

Self: .........

Self: FUCK YOU LAH!!!!!

Chris: HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Laughing at people's misfortune is a BADDDDDDDDDDDDD thing. You wait, Chris! You just wait!!

* For more ads, click here!

DIVINE BAK KUT TEH

One good turn deserves another. I fetch Ann to work today to repay her kindness to give me a ride to work when my car was at the workshop.

Ann invited me for a bak kut teh (BKT) dinner tonight. Then, she recalled that I had to go on a diet. However, she dismissed the thought of MY dieting coz she was craving for it. Selfish thoughts, eh? Ha ha. Kidding!! I am a prisoner of my taste buds as well.

I had a few BKT all over Kuala Lumpur. I know the famous BKT is in Telok Pulai, Klang but its counterparts in Kuala Lumpur aren’t that bad either.

There is a nice BKT shop in Selayang, called Bing Bing BKT, which I had with a few friends before, usually after a long walk at FRIM – yes, again, there goes my effort. There is also another kick-ass BKT in Jalan Horley near Imbi.

There were a few BKT shops in the whole stretch of Jalan Ipoh, I think approximately, 5 to 6 shops and I had tried all of them. (Not at one go though! In a span of a few years, when I was still working in Jalan Ipoh). The particular one which I like is the one next to Dynasty Hotel, where you would see a row of cars parking illegally by the roadside, Ban Lee Coffee Shop.

At times, you would see DBKL coming with tow trucks to tow away the cars. The patrons who happened to park at the roadside would always be on the look out. Whenever they see the DBKL coming, they would leave their tables and frantically move their cars. Talk about sacrificing for a meal... or maybe this is their trick to avoid paying after eating??

You can say that I am a seasoned BKT connoisseur – but I hardly eat the innards till recently, I started to acquire the taste of a pig’s intestine.

Whenever I had my BKT, yao char kuai, kam cham ku (straw mushrooms), tau foo pok, yau choi and lotsa garlic with black sauce is a ritual, or else my BKT meal would be incomplete. I prefer my BKT with thick dong guai smell, and taste slightly bitter, not too salty or sweet.

After the scrumptious dinner, we walked past the famous Goddess of Mercy temple on the shoulder of the road, facing the traffic lights. I remembered I once made a wish there and it was fulfilled, i.e. to pass my exams – my last paper which took me two years to complete.


I did everything I could due to desperation – I studied hard, but the paper was unpredictable. So, I decided to seek divine intervention. I went to church, I offerred joss sticks to the Goddess of Mercy of this temple almost everyday in the morning, before I go to work, I bought a crystal for myself while getting one for a friend’s birthday, and even promised the crystal fella to buy him chicken rice if I passed my exams with flying colors (which I eventually did and he was just glad that I made it).

I was at the verge of giving up, if not for my insurance boss. She told me to buy rokok daun, tobacco, sirih and pinang from the Indian shop, and offering them to the Na Tok Kong (the deity with long white beard wearing a songkok). I did just that.

That year, I passed my Corporate Finance paper with merit.

I quickly ushered Ann to the temple and told her to pray to the Goddess of Mercy and the Na Toh Kong in the temple. Geezz.. kids nowadays don't really know how to go about putting joss sticks and burning joss papers. A beggar there, assisted and instructed Ann on how to go about it, as I could not enter the temple with ta pao BKT in my hands. Ha ha! Kindly silly considering we just had BKT and we were not that pure either.. we are supposed to go vegetarian as today's the 15th day of the Lunar month. I hope that lady luck would smile at Ann, for her exams.

I heard stories that, if you wish to have something badly but didn’t manage to get it, you could try to seek help from this Goddess of Mercy or other deities in this temple in Jalan Ipoh. Just be sincere when you seek help, I am sure she/he would answer your prayer... Goddess of Mercy was actually a man, but that is another story altogether.

BARBARIC

Since I got my car back, I was as free as a bird. As I thought this would be a blessing to my renewed freedom, it turned out to be disastrous.

No, I didn’t get into a second accident, touch wood.

I went to get my expensive hair done today near my place in Selayang Mall. The outcome of the hairdo is alright. No complaints and I cut a good deal coz I knew the owner of the salon. For someone who is unbelievably sloppy, I had my hair cut, wash, highlight, steam and blow dry, all in one session.

My contentment was shortlived when I went to collect my car. I was shocked as the sidewalk parking space near Selayang Mall is used for Ramadhan buka puasa stalls from 3 pm to 7 pm. I was shocked to see the banner stating so, while walking quickly towards my car and found that, the spot behind my car was already being taken to open a stall, selling nasi lemak.

The abang with moustache (Abang Misai), was a bit annoyed by the fact that I didn’t look at the notice board which state that the area would be used for Ramadhan stalls. I apologized profusely, but he kept on nagging at me.

I accepted and acknowledged the fact that I was blind as I didn’t see the notice boards (made of wood – which looked like some plumbing service advertisement) and banners (which could only be seen when you come out from the Mall to get your car).

I accepted and acknowledged the fact that I was a bloody cheapo for not paying RM1 for Selayang Mall parking, and park at the sidewalk for free.

I accepted and acknowledged that fact that I should pay them RM20 for disrupting them to open up a stall.

I accepted and acknowledged the fact that I was an asshole for not being alert with the surrounding which had banners (you need eyes on the back of your head to see this) informing us about the Ramadhan buka puasa site.

But I cannot accept the fact that they had to scratch my car.

Abang Misai was nice enough to help me reversed my car albeit putting on a pissed off face. What I couldn’t stand was the verbal abuse from his offsprings.

Teen Barbarian#1: Bayar RM20 lah untuk parking!! I belum charge you lagi. (Malay: Pay RM20 for parking. I haven’t charge you for obstructing our stalls)

Self: I sudah minta maaf. Apa lagi you mau? I memang salah sebab tak nampak itu signboard tapi ini tidak bagi you hak untuk calarkan kereta saya! (Malay: I already apologized, what else do you want? I admit I am in the wrong for not noticing the signboard but this doesn’t give you the right to scratch my car).

Teen Barbarian#2: Oi! Kenapa you cakap kita calar? Jangan tuduh bukan bukan. (Malay: What makes you say that we scratch your car? Don’t simply accuse us)

Abang Misai: Mungkin you sudah kena ini calar sendiri. (Malay: Maybe you accidentally scratched it yourself.) *He dared not stare me in the eyes when he said this*

Self: Kereta aku baru keluar bengkel, mana boleh calar sendiri?? (Malay: I just got my car from the workshop. How could it get scratched by itself.)

Teen Barbarian#1: Jangan tipu lah. Dosa tau!! (Malay: Don’t lie! It’s a sin!)

Self: Siapa lagi dosa? Sudah buat, tak mengaku. Ini bulan puasa. Bohong itu dosa tau. Habis you punya pahala. (Malay: Who is more sinful? Commit a sin and didn’t confess. This is the fasting month. Lying is a sin. There goes your merits).

Teen Barbarian#3: You mata ada nampak kah?? (Malay: Did you see us scratch your car?)

Self: Tuhan nampak!! (Malay: God sees!!)

The barbarians kept quiet for a minute and then mumbling to by passers that I was an asshole for parking at their spot.

Teen Barbarian#2: Itu Cina cari pasal lah. (Malay: That Chinese is looking for trouble)

Self: Jaga mulut itu sikit. (Malay: Watch your mouth)

Then, they kept quiet.

When Abang Misai helped me to reverse my car, I apologized to him again and thanked him for helping me.

I was very pissed because I wasn’t observant enough to look at the plumbing advertisement and don’t have eyes on the back of my head. I was very pissed because even when I apologized, I still need to subject to their verbal and racist abuse.

I thanked God that I didn’t lose my cool over this. I thanked God that I didn’t fuck them on the spot. I thanked God that I didn’t drive my car into their stall to teach them a lesson. (Ah Ping told me not to get into another accident till the insurance is clear). I just showed a very stern face and gritted my teeth when they hurled insults. These people are barbarians, but that doesn't mean, I had to stoop to their level and behave like one.

Is this Malaysia? The country which abhor racism and injustice? The country that is proud to tell the world, we are a harmonious country, known for her polite, forgiving and peace loving people? Since when saying sorry has lost its meaning?

I know that today’s incident shouldn’t be a yardstick to measure the country as a whole, but damage had been done.

I seriously hope such ugly Malaysians would not surface again, especially in this special month of Ramadhan, where people supposed to be reflecting on their own actions and be forgiving towards each other.

A lesson to be learnt, not to fucking park your car at any fucking sidewalks, even if it is a legally designated parking spot, during Ramadhan to avoid unnecessary trouble. Please go and fucking park at a paying car park (inside malls preferably), even if it costs you some fucking RM10.

#Forgive me for over usage of profanities. I am fuming mad when I wrote this. MCH!!

THE FIRST STEP

“I would never be caught dead in the self-help aisle
in the bookshop”–Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

I am reading a self-help book. HELP!!! This is so unlike me as I don’t think I need advice from other people on how to live, as I believe every word in Frank Sinatra’s song – My Way!

As I was telling Keatix over the yahoo messenger a few nights ago, I started to read this book, while having nasi lemak for breakfast. He laughed and said, I should understand by now why he didn’t vote for me.

Well, I had to start formulating a diet scheme before it is way too late to make me lose my bet.

I was just thinking it is pretty ridiculous to go on diet when the yearend is near – where parties will be thrown and endless invitations to wedding dinners. I remember I need to be in Terengganu next month for WY’s younger sis’ wedding and is assigned the most important task: To hold up the door to prevent the bridegroom from barging in and also to hold my drinks on behalf of the groom. How to hold the door effectively without the excess baggage on my body? Aihhh……

There is a party at Party Girl’s house next Thursday, a makan-makan family outing next Saturday, a wild booze party the following week (*jeng* jeng *jeng), and another BBQ party at Yvonne’s house the week after next. Christ!

But whatever had been said, ought to be done. No more time to procrastinate. I have been procrastinating for 20 years!!

Here’s the excerpt of the book:-

This book is a culmination of 15 years of intensive study of the relationship between the foods we eat and the shape of our body. If you are fed up with the dieting merry-go-round and are looking for some practical and sensible information that can put you in control of your weight, then there is some very exciting news. You are about to learn some secrets of how to lose weight, and lose it permanently, while eating.

Fuh… this book got me hooked already.

I need to get a brand new juice blender this weekend.

MY STEERING WHEEL IS DENTED

Today in office at 4.30 p.m.

Self: Hello, Ah Ping! How is my car doing?

Ah Ping: Ok already. But need to check the second time round to make sure it is alright. You can either get it tonight or tomorrow.

Self: Wah! So fast ah!

Ah Ping: Yeah lah. But we are now washing the car and also make sure everywhere is in place lorrr…

Self: Okay lah! If like that, can you please check if the steering wheel is dented?

Ah Ping: HUH???

Self: Coz the other day my chest crashed really hard on the steering wheel and I think it is dented lah.

Ah Ping: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! No lah!! Where got dent?? Ha hHAHHAHHAhahhaha.

Self: My chest hit the steering wheel quite hard ok? I swear I see the plastic at the side already cracked. So please check lah.

Ah Ping: NO CRACK LAH!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! If it is cracked, you will end up in hospital liao. HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!

Self: So it was all my imagination??

Ah Ping: It is definitely your imagination lah!! Are you trying to kill me by being ridiculous!! HAHAHAHHAHHA!

Self: Ok lah.. ha ha ha. No crack, no dent.

I got my car liao. Yay!!! I am going out tonight at Hartamas to smoke some Shisha with the BarFly Boys!! Have a good weekend everyone!!

And yes, Yuin! I got the postcard! Thanks! You've got a very nice handwriting for a guy!

FAT CHALLENGE

During the Bangkok-Pattaya trip, I was approached by my ex boss and she asked me why I do not bother to lose some weight. “You have great personality!” she said, “All you need to do is to lose some weight.”

I jokingly told her, “Not that I wanna brag, but if with this body, my social life is fully occupied 24/7, I cannot imagine if I am slim and beautiful!” (Yes, you may puke all you want after reading this.)

Knowing that she won’t win the verbal debate especially with someone like me, she cajoled me by offering to play cupid for me and a chubby friend* with her existing business contacts who are eligible, handsome, young and filthy rich. It’s not that we were not ALREADY in the company of the eligible, handsome, young and filthy rich friends, but if there is more, we shouldn’t be complaining, right? (Chubby is in a good company of three eligible, young and filthy rich boyfriends (only one is handsome lah) for now).

*She prefers to remain anonymous

History of Weight Loss

Gina’s

Lost 15 kgs in year 2000 and gained it back when she started working.

Lost 7 kgs going on a metabolic diet in 2 weeks in 2003 and gained it back – the metabolic diet is a hoax.

Lost 11.5 kgs when she joined gym last year and gained it back with all the fei chai trips.

Lost 4.5 kgs after refraining social activities at all cost in one month and regained it when her social life came back in full force vengeance.

*It’s hard to lose weight when you are so damn popular.

Chubby’s

Lost 15 kgs for her brother’s wedding to fit into nice clothes in year 2002.

Here’s the excerpt of our conversation on the fat challenge over the yahoo messenger a few days ago.

Self - when gonna sit down and talk about our diet plan?

Chubby - thinking about my weight, by when u need to lose weight ah

Self - by march, but i hope by end of this year

Chubby - how many kg

Self - what you think? as much as possible, by end of this year, hopefully 10 kgs

Chubby - 6 mths

Self - so? now start? 6 months from now? :) how many kilos you wanna lose?

Chubby - wats the bet. how much?

Self – uhm … Rm100? :)
Self - we must set the kilos

Chubby -: i'm thinking to start my yaohan slim course again

Self - i shud start going back to gym liao
Self - but now, car masuk workshop
Self - how to gym gym
Self - @#$%^&*
Self - so bila start?

Chubby - wat do u think if i spent rm3000 to slim down ....worth it?

Self - worth it!! I would pay anything to lose 30 kgs, h ah ha, guarantee or not

Chubby - really?

Self – yeah, it was worth it
Self - rm100 too little? wanna raise the bet?

Chubby - guarantee ...if not they won't count the session

Self – wahhhhhhhhhhhh, i also want, ha ha ha, in yaohan?

Chubby – no, at Terimee, got promo at Terimee (1st trial at 28.80) for slimming
Chubby - tell u.... go try out but don't extra cash n credit card .
Chubby - so they can't ask u to sign up immediately, ha ha

Self – wah, susah also hor.. when you wanna try? have to be naked right
Self - shit lah i don’t have car

Chubby - i'm going for a try out session this saturday at Times square Terimee

Self - aiseh
Self - this sat i got class again, product launching
Self - maybe you try first, then you tell me lor ok?
Self - so our bet starts today lah right?
Self - :)

Chubby - nope mid oct

Self - ok lah, 15 october onwards

Chubby - got trial period ah

Self - cut off point this december
Self - no trial trial
Self - we cannot afford to waste anymore time
Self - ok? set? oct 15, first hurdle, 10 kgs by december
Self - you have to weigh yourself first tomorrow

Chubby- excuse me 10 kilos by dec 05

Self - 3 months to lose 10 kgs, is not that kuo fan, one month 3 kgs
Self - ok bohh?? or wanna set straight to march

Chubby - u know how to count ah 15 oct till 15 jan

Self - how much you wanna lose
Self - till 15 jan then, 10 kgs
Self - RM50

Chubby - i thot 10 kilos by mac

Self - then, till march 30, another RM50
Self - no no
Self - by march, it is 20 kgs
Self - i think we better go weigh ourselves
Self - in yvonne's house
Self - at least we have one standard weighing scale
Self - ok or not???

Chubby - can
Chubby - rm100 lose 20kgs by mac
Chubby - if 10 kilos by 15 jan

Self - rm50?
Self - so the stake is higher now
Self - rm150 altogether lah ok

Chubby- yup

Self - then, by march 30, if lose 20 kgs altogether
Self - deal
Self - shake hand pls

Chubby - aiya the game start when we weigh at yvonne’s place
Chubby- save $ for slimming

Self - me.. i think i do it hard way
Self – exercise and low calorie diet

Chubby- yeah u like it hard

Self - ha ah ha
Self - you also know ah? he he he he. ok lah

Chubby - keep it up babe

Self - see you in yvonne’s place on 15 oct

Well, Chubby opt for body wraps from the slimming centre as I, on the other hand, prefer the hard way – going to the gym and exercise.

Hhmph.. Who would you be voting for?

I've already got my first supporter..

Party Girl wrote:-

I baru sahaja practiced the belly dance movements and am sweating like crazy .. so perhaps it is an indication that I did it right .. heheheheh ...

Gina wrote:-

eh? belly dancing? maybe you can assist me a little. i am placing a bet with friend to lose 10 kgs by end of this year! loser pay to winner RM50!!

then by march 2006, need to lose total weight of 20 kgs or RM100 would be slapped as penalty.... ok or not?

Party Girl wrote:-

can ... of course ...!!! I am trying to get some kg's out of my system too ... and I think it is working .. at least ... I can see improvement ... besides it keeps me from falling asleep each time I am on the couch ... I am taking the classes and also learning from a VCD .. Rania's Belly Dancing VCD (3 of them) ... you can come by my place say, 3 times a week, and we can do the movements together .. like the idea?? To the video ... and music... and i can get you the belly dancing belt too .. to motivate you ...hah!! That was the main catch .. the costumes are gorgeous!! ... really ..

MAKE PEACE WITH GOD

I had a conversation with my colleagues in the pantry today about the happenings around the world. Again, everyone was saddened by the earthquake, which rocked Pakistan, Afghanistan and India, leaving some 20,000 people dead and thousands of others injured.

This happened barely a week after the bombing of Bali, and a few weeks after the Hurricanes Katrina and Ruth.

The tsunami, which wiped out Acheh and other parts of the world, is not even a year old. Many people already forgotten about it, dismiss it as history.

Is this a sign from God that the world is coming to an end? Even a free thinker like me, who believe that all religions are equally good, starting to believe that, no matter what religion you believed in, there must be the same divine being behind all these things.

Acknowledging the presence of God comes a long way back, as old as earth. People prayed to stones, trees, animals and were afraid when eclipses of the sun or moon took place, which considered as omen.

My Muslim friends gave me a note on what is about to happen during the Ramadhan, and I could see one by one, the things as stated are falling into their places.

First of all, death of the King of Saudi Arabia, which is the starting point of the said prophecies, followed by destructions in the United States (hurricanes) and then, eclipses of the sun and the moon, which scheduled to occur on October 3 and October 17 respectively.

I had an accident on October 3. When I went to the police station to lodge a report, I met my ex colleague and found out there were two other accident cases on the same day. When my friends wrote me e-mails to check out how I was, everyone said they knew of someone else met with an accident on the same day.

Things like these are mind boggling and if you sit down and ponder long enough, you could see that things are happening because mankind mistreated the earth. Pollution, corruption, abusive usage of raw materials and selfishness are part and parcel of all destruction, and mostly greed, the mother of all devastation.

It is heart wrenching to see human’s greed in catastrophe. Governments misappropriate donation, people from all walks of life kept collecting donations for natural disasters’ victims - in restaurants, pubs, mamak shops, shopping centers, etc. We do not know for sure whether the money is really channeled into helping those in need. The thing we could only hope for, is the conscience of these people, collecting the money – be it genuine or not, they are answerable to God. I am always wary of the associations or bodies who are collecting donations. There is always lack of transparency in utilizing the money donated.

Each and every one of us, I am sure, are still chasing after material wealth, and do not give much thought to spiritual wealth. Every year, we alter our houses or workstations, according to feng shui, or pray that our wealth would improve, hence it would make us a happier person.

Every year, we are still plodding on the same spot, doing mediocre things to get on with life, hoping that we would somehow gain enough to make ends meet or make a fairly comfortable retirement.

We worry about not having enough to spend. We worry about not having a partner. We worry about our sexual orientation. We worry about how our children would turn out to be. No one is to be blamed. These are indeed life itself.

But we never give a thought of after life. We never think of what happen next when we die.

I am not trying to say that, chasing after material wealth is not a good thing. And I am not saying that you have to be a monk, nun, imam, pastor or priest either. The key word here is balance. We could have all the money in the world, but if we are too selfish, or too full of ourselves, it defeats all purposes.

And I am not talking about charity either. Doing charity is good, but it should be done within our means. For me, charity begins at home. If we treat our family members good, and help them whenever a need arise, I think it would suffice rather than you give your money to charity – make a big hoo-hah out of it and, at the same time, you ill-treated your own siblings or parents. Family should always come first.

.. And I didn't say that you should be slacking in living a life, either.

My mother is a free thinker. Not many people at her age of 61, could be this liberal. She said, it doesn’t matter what religion we believe in, it is our hearts that matter. As long as we don’t cause hurt to others, we are fine. After all, no one came back from the dead and tell you not to do this or that. When we all die, whether we would be buried or cremated, our bodies would return to the soil.

Every day, we see struggles for power and money. Rich nations getting richer and poor nations getting poorer. There is an uneven distribution of wealth not only in other countries, in our own country as well. Everyday, there bound to be a new outbreak of diseases, or wars where human beings taking each others’ lives, threats of terrorists and bombing which seem to be accepted as a routine nowadays, etc. At times, I just don’t want to read the newspapers as it upsets me.

Sometimes I am glad that I am not an important person in this world, with overwhelming power or money, more than I could handle. Or being famous and subject oneself to scrutiny of people and had to conform to the strict standards of the society. I am glad that I am neither rich nor poor. I am glad that I was put to play the roles of a daughter, a sister, a friend, a cousin, a niece and a godmother. For those who are still wondering what purpose we are here, I guess this is it: To play the roles we are destined to be, in order to make other people’s lives a little easier, and I hope I had done my parts well.

Death is a certain thing. There is no need for us to live in fear of it. At the end of days, irregardless what religion we believe in, I believe we need to make peace with God and ourselves, sooner or later, but it better be soon. We are to seek forgiveness from those people we had hurt, to learn to forgive ourselves as well, to right what we have done wrong, to stop whatever things that we know is wrong but keep on doing, to stop preaching and practise what we preached, and to learn to live life a day at a time, as if it is our last.

CARLESS WEEKEND

Saturday was full. It was hard not to have a car to get around. Thanks to sis - I went to the insurance roadshow yesterday. Then, I went to check out my car in the workshop, and had vegetarian dinner with Ed. At night, I went to the Ninth Emperor Gods’ temple in Jinjang and made a wish on the tree with nine lamps, which they said, would grant you any wish that your heart desires if you believe in it.

I am grounded at home now, which is not a bad thing anyway. Or else, I don’t get to do what I did today!

Sasha & Lok Lok tearing each others' head off

10 things I did without a car today

1. Read the newspapers from cover to cover
2. Helping myself endlessly with mom’s pot of addiction (kopi-O)
3. Catching up with reading
4. Preventing Sasha and Lok Lok from tearing each others’ head off
5. Prolong lunch by chatting with family members
6. Singing Sasha to sleep for her afternoon nap, at the same time, catching up with precious sleep
7. Planning to take the kids out for swimming in my sis’ car
8. Tidy up my lap top – speed disk, anti virus check
9. Sorting out bills
10. Gardening

Yes, I can be quite domesticated if I want to.

Vegetarian lunch

10 things I am going to do next weekend if I have my car back…

1. Going for facial
2. Going for shopping
3. Going for breakfast with Ed, Ryne and Dan
4. Going to Ed’s new house and laze the whole afternoon away
5. Going to catch a movie with WY
6. Going for an expensive haircut
7. Going out with Kitjar? Ha ha.
8. Going to buy Ann scrumptious breakfast in Bangsar
9. Going to have brunch with Joy Luck Club members
10. Going for shisha at Hartamas with Chris, Gladys and Sam

CULTURE SHOCK

Am I still in Malaysia? Is this a dream? Is this the correct train station?

This was my reaction when I took the train to work this morning.

I was the first to arrive at the platform at Sentral Putra LRT. I was standing right in front, day dreaming away. As the train approached, I braced myself for some pushing and shoving impact.

A Malay lady in pink tudung, gently tapped me on my shoulder and said, “You have to get into the line”.

I was stunned and blurted, “Ah?? Must line up meh??” but was ushered by the “line” into the train.

Since when Malaysians start lining up for trains?? Pardon my ignorance. I haven't travelled by train for two whole years.

Anyway, this is a good sign that people are getting more civilized and courteous. The once controversial advertisement about a guy in tie pretending to sleep in his seat when he saw an old lady and a pregnant lady, coming into the train, is working miraculously. Syabas, Puan Yasmin!

This morning, at the Komuter, KTM from Kepong, a limping guy in stretches was offered a seat by two person simultaneously. At Sentral Station, Putra LRT, everyone was lining up to wait for turns to get into the train.

Malaysians are changing for the better? Malaysia memang boleh.

P.S. Ann, thanks for the tip to avoid the excretement of a mad fella on the pavement at bus stop near KLCC train station.

HITCH HIKING

My Ferrari (when it’s fast) aka Kenari (when it’s slow) would be out of action for two weeks…. Two weeks!!!! And now only, my prospects started calling me non stop for insurance advice. The law of ironic relativity? Do you notice that when you are short of something, people would insist on having that something. Or when you overtake a car to the right lane, then the left lane traffic start to be flow smoothly.

After the accident, I was already at my wits end to remain as mobile as I could. First of all, I need to get myself to my training center on Tuesday. The inevitable would be taking a cab as the place is quite isolated and totally out of civilization. I happily accepted the next door’s agency assistant’s ride to office on Tuesday morning.

It was a two-door Honda Civic, fully modified to imitate Jay Chou’s racing car of the famed Initial-D. Yes, the husband is an Ah Beng. But, there is no "DOHC" letters plastered all over the car. It is still a pretty decent car from the outside, with bright red colored seats inside. Hhmph.. cool.

Having met with accident only the day before, I put my life at stake again by stepping into this car. I was gripping onto the side of the car when it took a sharp bent, right on the spot where the accident happened. When he decided to squeeze over to the right lane to overtake a car, I swore I could see the concrete road divider inches away from my car window. I winced a few times and gritted my teeth. As ganas as I thought I was on the road, I am just a wimp compare to him.

As beggars can’t be choosers, I am glad that I arrived at the training center safely that day, only with escalated blood pressure and drops of cold sweat.

My other colleagues from the training center sent me home after each class. Ms Ng, my insurance boss would usually drive me in her Nissan X Trail.

As I hitch hiked Ann's car to work, (it was a blessing having her as a friend!) it is kinda liberating not having to drive to work after two years. I just act as an entertainer as she braves the morning jam. Actually I was trying to divert her attention from the massive jam in Jalan Kuching to make her less pissed. The jam is simply ridiculous. Jalan Kuching is fine, but then, the old man decide to “improve” it some more: widen it, put a flyover on it, etc just to add inconvenience to the motorists.

“Bersabar lah untuk kemajuan dan pembangunan” – that was what an ex colleague told me when I complained incessantly about the jam.

I would be taking the train to and fro from work tomorrow for a change. I think it is time for me to walk a little as to exercise since I won’t be able to visit the gym till my car is ready.

People say, you would never appreciate a thing till you lose it. So now, I really miss my Kenari very much and I would not take it for granted ever again!

10 THINGS I LIKE MOST ABOUT RAMADHAN

1. The morning traffic is slightly clearer compare to normal days. (But the evening traffic was horrendous!!)

2. Get to sample the colorful and variety of kuih-muih at almost every pavement/lorong-lorong, at every corner of the mosque/ offices/ bus station, etc.
3. Get the best spot at mamak shop (meaning, not under a tree - bird droppings accident - proned) during lunch hour.
4. Everything seems to be moving at slower pace, hence, less stressful.
5. The gym is super empty!
6. Reminds me of the Lat, one of my favorite cartoonist and his sketches on the camaraderie of multi-racial Malaysians going through the puasa month.
7. It is easier to book rooms for the weekend getaways during Ramadhan.
8. The repetition of stories about people mistaken me as a Muslim during fasting month, is as hilarious as it was the previous years.
9. Brisk sale of cookies, biscuits and other goodies for Raya in the office.
10. Sight of people burning delicious lemang by the roadside.

Here’s wishing our Muslim friends, Selamat Berpuasa.

CRASH BOOM BANG

Damn fucked up day.

I was involved in a freak accident this morning. I was at the traffic lights at the Kepong-Selayang bypass, when the police traffic on duty gave us the sign to go. I was following a white Nissan slowly and making a right turn. Out of a sudden, I saw things flying in the air. I was shocked and stepped on the brakes. But it was too late. I hit the Nissan on its rear.

I was furious because of the emergency brake and then stepped out of the car. To my horror, there was a motorcyclist lying in a pool of his own blood. We parked our cars at the side of the road and realized there were 6 vehicles involved in the piled up. One jeep, two cars and three motorcycles. And my car was the 6th vehicle.

I learnt that the motorcyclist hit the Mitsubishi Jeep and then, skidded and glided on the slippery road. The other two motorcyclists avoided the motorcyclist who fell in front of them and they too, skidded and glided to the road side.

It was a lucky thing that the white Nissan did not go fast, or else, it would go over the motorcyclist who was already on the road. It was drizzling, hence contribute to the wet and slippery road. And thank God, that the Nissan did not hit the Mitsubishi.

A pick up stopped and lent a helping hand. A group of people helped to carry the injured man in his early 20s into the back of the pick up and he was sent to Selayang Hospital.

The first person I called was Ed. Silly me. Shouldn’t have made him worry. Actually I should call my insurance agent first! I told Ed about the accident and asked him not to worry. And then I called my insurance boss, Ms Ng. In less than 15 minutes, the tow truck came to tow away my car, and Tambi, the tow truck driver took me to the police station.

As we passed by the police compound, we saw a few vehicles crashed beyond recognition and Tambi told me, all these were being cut open by the Fireman and usually, the drivers would have passed on. I could still see blood stains on the seats. It was a gruesome sight.

Then, while waiting for Tambi’s boss to come, I packed my stuffs in a box and offered Tambi a candy. Yes – I remained calm and cool. Ah Ping, a man with slit eyes and small mouth, came and took me into to the police station to file a report.

When I was there, the 4 people involved in the accident were still waiting for their turns to lodge a police report. It was then, the phone rang.

Officer #1: Yeah? Ah? Yeah.

Hang up the phone.

Officer #1: Itu budak sudah meninggal. (Malay: The kiddo died)

I was shocked. Nobody seemed to have heard him as they were busy trying to lodge a police report.

I asked Ah Ping, “The boy died??”

Ah Ping said he didn’t hear. Everyone was so busy making a police report while I made mine as well.

I was impressed that the police station now is equipped with flat screen computers. I thought I would have to make report next to a clerk typing away on a typewriter. In less than 10 minutes, my report is out. With no fuss.

Then, I was sent to the waiting room to make another report. I just don’t understand the system but anyhow, it was good to have Ah Ping with me.

The whole group of 5 people involved in the accident was there, and it was then, Ah Ping came in and told them, the boy died. Everyone was shocked. Then the stories were repeated again and again – like a broken record.

I bumped into an ex colleague in the police station. He was also involved in an accident somewhere near Templer’s Park. What a coincidence. Shit. I really cannot owe people money, even in the police station, I tend to bump into somebody that I know. Sigh.

Ah Ping brought me into the inspector’s room immediately. The Inspector, who had a bad flu, asked me what’s my father’s name. I really don’t understand the relevance of my father’s name to this case, but I gave it to him anyway.

In less than 1 hour, I was out from the police station. Thanks to Ah Ping for knowing the ropes in the police station well. I guess it is good to have a person who knows what he is doing.

My chest hit the steering wheel and now I am in a bit of pain. Imagine if I don't use the seat belt.

I thank God that even though my Kenari is crashed beyond recognition on the front, I am still in one piece.

I would be going without wheels for 2 weeks as the damage was quite substantial.. (Hint: This is a good time to date me for dinner and send me home (my home, that is!) - Heh)

The next thing I did after lodging a police report was to go back to my class – I took 4 days leave since last Thursday to attend Financial Planning Course in my insurance training centre. But I was in no mood to even listen to the course.

Thank goodness I have a bunch of friends who would gimme a lift to the training centre tomorrow.. and to work on Wednesday. Thanks, Ann.

Tips to adhere to when you are involved in an accident:

1. Don’t panic.
2. Park your car to the side and put on emergency double signal.
3. Make sure you have your tow truck number at hand or insurance agent’s number/ be a member of AAM.
4. If people approach you to tow your car, etc, ignore him. Only trust your own tow truckers.
5. Take down vehicles number plates. This round, I took 5 numbers!
6. Put a box in your car to pack your things in case of emergency. I have a box behind, not for this purpose, though. But it comes in handy. (Fuck. I remember I left my favorite Norah Jones' CD in the stereo!!)
7. It is good to know the right people – they could help in times of distress. I am glad I came to know my insurance boss personally.
8. It is good to have photocopies of Insurance policy car cover note, vehicle registration card, HP Agreement, Driver's/Owner's driving license and IC handy - keep in an envelop so when shit happens, you don't have to search high and low for it.

As for the motorcyclist who passed away, I hope his soul rest in peace and he had bought enough insurance to help his dependents to survive on.

Let this serve as a reminder to us to be careful on the road, and not to even think that we are invincible. Accidents happen when you least expected it.

GINA’S FAMILY VALUES

I have always talked about my family to my friends. Some friends are surprised that I stayed with my aunt for 15 years now.

“Your aunt never torture you meh??” or “Ah? Can ah? Can two families stay together in harmony?” They looked at us with their big, bright, bewildered eyes.

I beamed with pride and said, “My aunt treats us like her own children.”

Not many families are close-knitted nowadays.

There is a sad story of a distant cousin of my mother’s. His own siblings did not want to take responsibilities of their own brother who was mentally ill, after working in a mental asylum in the United Kingdom for ages. They left him at my late grandmother’s care in Port Weld. After creating so much chaos and disturbances, one of his brothers decided to ship him back to United Kingdom. When he was there, he tried to kill himself by throwing himself on a passing train in the subway.

He didn’t die. His legs were amputated and he was taken care of by the national welfare. None of his brothers came to see him in United Kingdom until he passed on. He left a legacy of a house worth a few hundred thousands of pounds, and then only, all his siblings came squabbling who is supposed to benefit from his will.

How sad.

There are 10 people in my house. My own family consists of myself, my sis, mom and dad. My brother is married and living with his wife in Puchong. My aunt’s family – husband and wife, and their only son – who is now staying with his girlfriend. My two cousin sisters from fourth aunt, and two trolls that my mother baby sits.

Of course, we definitely have our own differences. At times, it is never easy as we do get on each others’ nerves. But somehow, we learned to compromise and tried our best to live with each others’ annoying habits. Afterall, blood is always thicker than water.

My mother is the most hardworking in the house. She would wake up the earliest, depending on when the kids wake up, making milk for them before going to the kitchen to prepare a pot of addiction: kopi O. She would start the day’s routine by offering joss sticks to the God of Heaven, Goddess of Mercy, the Earth God, the Tan’s ancestors and the Kitchen God. Then, she would proceed to sweep and mop the floor. After cooking lunch for the family, she would go for an afternoon nap with the kids. As long as she gets to cook, hold the broom, wash some clothes, she feels happy. I think she has never complained of too much house work before. When she is not home, all hell break loose.

My dad, who suffered from stroke a few years ago, is delighted to have found a job with my uncle, driving a small lorry to transport poultry goods. His day starts at 2 am and ended just before noon. When he comes home, he would bring back some left over chicken which didn’t sell off for the day and talk non stop about his encounter of the day. Usually, he would mention which hotels he went in the day, to send the poultry goods, etc. Boring stuffs. But I am glad that he is happy. He is happy because he could do something useful to pass his days. I think, being hard working runs in the family. Everyone just couldn’t sit still. If he is not tired, he would walk over to my neighbours’ to play a few games of mahjong or glued to the tv the entire day.

My sis is a workaholic. She hardly took leave from office. She is the annual recipient in her office for best attendance year after year for not taking any medical leave. Heh! Nobody would believe that she is my sister. She is a miser, doesn’t go out much, spend most time at home, watching tv and avidly reads my blog and James’ blog. She is the exact opposite of me. That is why we complement each other. And she is my long standing credit provider, who doesn’t demand the loaned money back. She is a splendid help in the kitchen and is very good with knives, as in cutting fruits, vegetables, etc, neatly. A superbly good candidate for a wife. Any takers? Geez.. am I pimping my own sister on the internet?

One of the most respected person after my mom and dad is my aunt. She is already 62 years old but looking like a 50 year old hot hoochie momma. When she is in the mood, she would cook up a new dish, freshly learnt from Astro or the newspapers, for us to try. She indulges in mahjong too, and could play mahjong for hours. She helps my mother to take care of the kids. Occasionally, she would go over to her in-law’s house to cook for her mother-in-law, just a few blocks away from our house. The MIL is quite an extravagant person and loves to waste and splurge. Not wanting to see such extravagance being wasted, my aunt would bring some of the cooked food home. Somehow, this habit landed her with her nickname: the Hunter. She goes out and brings back food.

My uncle is a dark man with stern face. But the kids love him very much because he would take them for a short ride in his old rickety motorcycle around the neighbourhood. He would spoil the kids silly with candies and little toys from the grocery shops. He helps out at his brother’s grocery shop, and at times, he would bring back some free vegetables and fruits for the house. Knowing that the children loves jagung (Malay: corn), he would bring packets and packets of jagung which would last for a few good weeks!

My two cousin sisters are lazy bums, (So am I!! But at least I am neat) much to the chagrin of the entire household. However, they make it up by being pretty good entertainers in the house. They would say or do something really silly much to the amusement of my aunt and the kids. They help out with the kids and the younger one, reads tarot cards. The older one is the garbage woman – she takes out the garbage every night. The younger one is a state badminton player. Our mothers, thinking that she might put on obscene weight like me, decided to let her play badminton to avoid getting fat. The younger one is the prettiest among us – so, I think she would probably be the first cousin to be married off. The older cousin is a bit rough on the outside, but she is a person with a big heart. She would help when help is needed. She just need some guidance on not to be so kan cheong (Cantonese: anxious) all the time.

The two kids, Sasha and Lok Lok are pain in the ass at times. But without them, I guess my house would not be as warm as it is now. We missed them when they are gone to their homes with their parents, but on the other hand, cringe at the thought of their annoying and incessant shrieks in the house. Well, we can’t have a cake and eat it at the same time, aren’t we? We love them like our own family members and are always amused and thrilled when they learn new things, as we watch them grow from 2 months till now, 3 years old.

My char siew* brother – is married and now living with his wife in Puchong. We love him very much and let him have his own ways in a lot of things. Being married means, you already have another family to take care of. My brother would come home occasionally on weekends, and that is when my mother and aunt cook up a storm in the kitchen to welcome him back. Whoever married my brother is one lucky woman as she wouldn’t have to succumb to the myth of the MIL’s iron claws. My mother is so chin chai that she doesn’t insist to stay with my brother like other conventional mother in laws who would want their sons to be with them. I know it is cliché to say this, but normally when a man gets married, he submits to his wife. That is why I always tell my friends to have daughters. Now we know that daughters could take better care of their old parents.

* If you have a son, you might as well give birth to a piece of char siew ("BBQ Pork"). At least, when you are hungry, you could eat the char siew.

My family is quite liberal. We could do whatever we like as long as we don’t go overboard. This trust had been instilled in us when we were very young. In fact, I never ask for permission to do anything since I was little. All I need to do is to tell my mother where I am going, and off I go. I guess this has somewhat helped us to be independent people and street smarts.

We celebrate everyone’s birthdays in the year. So, there would be more than 10 birthday cakes and 10 buckets of KFC or 20 large pizzas in a year.

That sums up the family members in my house. At times, we might appear to be dysfunctional, but all in all, I am grateful to be part of this big family.

These are the people close to my heart,
who always make my life worth living..

Behind: L-R Char Siew Brother, Good loan Shark Sis, Kan Cheong First Cousin Sis,
Nomadic Cousin Brother, Tarot reading Youngest Cousin Sis
Front: L-R Hunter Aunt, Mom holding Sasha & Lok Lok and Dad
-Celebrating Mom's 61st birthday this year July 11
(Not in pic: Uncle - working and myself - holding the camera)