FENG SHUI FOR DUMMIES

I have been slacking in updating myself with the latest feng shui gadgets – a friend brushed this off as total hogwash when I told him he shouldn’t paint his office ceiling in black. Well, it doesn’t hurt to give it a try, right?

Ed has been running into bad luck these days. Mostly family problems. In order for him to mitigate the problems, I bought him some stuffs for his birthday to ward off bad luck. Hope that I interpreted the solution accurately with my half-baked feng shui skills.

These are Ed’s presents:

Arowana swimming in a bed of coins and ingots

Arowanas are very popular among businessmen as they symbolise wealth and prosperity in Chinese culture. The Chinese name of the Arowana is synonymous with great wealth and abundance, and with it lying on a bed of ancient Chinese coins, it invites even more auspicious wealth luck.

Hope that Ed gets abundance in his sales!

Monkey God

The Monkey is traditionally a symbol of imagination, and legend marks the Monkey as a truly mischievous animal. The monkey represents health and protection from evil when placed in the area of the home closest to the West/Southwest (which is its birthplace). Known as a god, he is believed to have the ability to solve problems, especially in businesses where other attempts have failed.

Hope this would help Ed to steer his family problems away with his perseverance and strength.

Feng Shui book

Ed will be moving into his new home. Hope this would give him some tips to optimally energize his new home for success, love, happiness, wealth and health.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ED!

Since I was in the mood to look for feng shui stuffs for Ed, I might as well assess my own current situation.

Career luck: So far, things had been mediocre. Do not foresee promotions/ increment. Must alter the position of my dragon tortoise on my desktop to my sheng qi (life-generating) direction.

Family: Thank goodness for harmony. Things had been going on pretty well. Must be the five rod metal wind chime in the living room to suppress bad luck, and the purple crystal ball.

Social circle: So far so good. Wearing a rose quartz with amethyst bracelet and placing an amethyst tree at the southwest corner of the home proved alright... it also helps if you have a likeable personality like mine. Heh.

Money luck: Share market price has been escalating. Time to sell. Thanks to the three legged toad.

Luck with men: Zero. The painting of peonies placed at southwest corner of the living room is not very effective.

Hhmph.. I think I would need the help from a pair of mandarin ducks.

Mandarin Ducks are the most popular symbol of love in Chinese Feng Shui. It is said that when seen in a pair, the Mandarin Ducks' emit the kind of chi that is most conducive for love and romance. And more often than not, these loving energy transmutes to happy and harmonious marriages. Mandarin Ducks are often advocated as the most potent symbol of marital bliss. Keep this fine pair of mandarin ducks in your personal Nien Yin corner or beside your bed.

The ornaments over this shop are overly priced. Probably would ask Wang Loi who is traveling to China this September with my wish list. She told me to buy my own air tickets and go with her instead.

I was thinking of something more economical. So, I went hunting for mandarin ducks elsewhere.

Ann: SO CHEAP!?! But would these Mandarin Ducks work?

Self: I might end up having a cheap boyfriend!!

Ann: Better cheap than having no boyfriend at all??

Self: A dick in my bush is worth two in other people’s bushes? Hehehhe.

Ann: Wah! Why you buy so many pairs??

Self: The more the merrier? I got a feeling that this is gonna turn into a massive orgy.


Comments

Backup comments said…
Hmmm. According to Joey Yap, feng shui has nothing to do with objects that resemble animals. Real feng shui is about our place in the natural environment. There is also the time component.
aw3 | 07.31.05 – 10:01 am | #

hello. chinese feng shui has nothing to do with symbolism. if you are currently going through a patch of bad luck, it could be due to either your house feng shui (bad stars coming in during that month etc) or you are entering a bad luck period in your bazi (chinese astrology).

while the symbols are quite nice to look at, they do not do anything much except to remind you of chinese CULTURE and folklore.

A lot of it is quite dangerous sometimes. for example if one were to follow the 8 life aspirations one would place Wood element related items in the East to enhance health etc. but in flying stars, this year the annual #2 is in the east. the #2 is earth. Wood destroy Earth; quite a volatile cycle, might see more aggravation to come. and because the #2 is the sickness star, it would only mean more health problems for the occupants of the house.

‘feng shui for dummies’ was written by a guy who followed the Black Hat Sect new age feng shui. I would personally recommend ‘the idiot’s guide to feng shui second edition’ which is more truthful to what chinese feng shui really is – direction and location.
suanie | Homepage | 07.31.05 – 10:15 am | #

Thanks Gina for the gift, like i said, work or not , it will never outshine the thoughts and good intention u put into selecting these gift for a fren.

I so thank above for knowing u thru this blog. may all the Good luck return to you in thousands folds…

love
e
ed | 07.31.05 – 10:25 pm | #

Yes, I heard of Joey Yap. Read his book. Can’t even finish first page. Hehe. Maybe I am an idiot, like what Suanie says.

Anyway, just here to help. Glad Ed likes it. And yes, many happy returns to you, Ed!
Gina | Homepage | 07.31.05 – 11:59 pm | #

lol woi… i didn’t choose the name of the series.. lol… just sayin in my professional opinion that the idiots series for feng shui is better than the dummies series :P
suanie | Homepage | 08.02.05 – 8:48 am | #

Has it worked yet?
viewtru | 08.02.05 – 11:54 pm | #

Yes lah, Suanie. Just kiddin’. Hehe. In the other way round, Feng Shui for idiots works better for you?? Hehehhe.

viewtru: No orgy yet.. but getting there..
Gina | Homepage | 08.03.05 – 12:44 am | #

Yeah my mom is crazy about feng shui stuff but i dun see any changes in that hehehe. Im not giving bad comment on my mom just sometimes if i slept the wrong direction, ill get “bamboo” the next day. Well every single corner i go in my house i gonna see 20cents money at the corner.
ahkiong | Homepage | 08.04.05 – 1:39 am | #

ahkiong: My friend too. She actually scolded us for picking it up. We thought she accidentally dropped it there.
Gina | Homepage | 08.04.05 – 11:47 pm | #

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