Self : If I don’t blog about Merdeka, does that make me a lesser patriot?
Wise Friend: Yeah, you will go under ISA
So.. here it is.
Things I did on Merdeka Day
1.SLEEP. Lotsa sleep since I have been deprived from sleep the entire month of August – to fulfil my social obligations.
2.VISIT BABY JESSE. Since my cousin sis worked for Mae before, she wanted to see Jesse. So, off we went. Found James breastfeeding his son.
3.BABY SIT. That two screaming monsters.
4.THINKING, THINKING, THINKING. (Sigh)
5.TRYING TO FINISH reading, Love in the Time of Cholera. Now I am already in pages where Florentino Ariza is having a romp with numerous older ladies at the light house.
6.COLOR my hair.
7.WATCH the Frighteners for the fifth time on Astro.
8.WATCHING the entire Season IV & V of Sex and the City, after this.
9.REPLYING wrongly sent sms-es, politely and tactfully.
10.CHECKING again and again for comments on my blog. (Pathetic)
Well, hope your Merdeka Day is more eventful.
Happy 47th Birthday, Malaysia.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
STAYING SINGLE IS WORSE THAN SMOKING
Staying single is worse than smoking: Study
(Comments by yours truly)
Monday, August 30, 2004. The Sun, Page 9, World
London: Being single is as bad for you as smoking – or worse. For the Bridget Jones generation of 30-something single women, a major study brings the worst possible news – that on top of the cigarettes, wine and anxiety about weight, the very state of being single takes years off your life.
Comments:
I think I am doing fine. I don’t smoke, I drink occasionally, and I am anxious about my weight, but I am DOING something about it. Who wants to live forever anyway?
The research, which monitored the lifestyles of 10,000 adults across Britain over 10 years, has found that both men and women, being single is as perilous to longevity as smoking. The negative effects of being alone are thought to kick in when a person hits 30.
Comments:
I have another 2 more years to go before the negative effect kicks in. Action recommended for the time being – PARTY TILL I DROP! Those Brits are just being melodramatic.
Just why being single is so unhealthy is not clear, the researchers said.
Comments:
Abothen?? Those researchers should not have come up with this unhealthy remark if there is no concrete evidence, and cause unnecessary stress to singles out there. Singletons can sue you, you know!
Much like Bridget Jones, who defined the anxieties of a female generation, it is thought single people tend to follow less healthy lifestyles.
Comments:
Asians are likely to do better. We still live with our parents even if we are married. Those singles who live with parents, get better treatment – free maid service (cooking, washing and tidying the house), free jaga service (someone to take care of your house while you work), free gardening service (my dad is fanatic about gardening), etc. Hence, singletons in fact, have more time to exercise!
They drink more because they socialize more with large groups of friends, they skip meals, such as breakfast, and work harder because there is no partner to make time for. And they do not have an emotional confidant to share problems with.
Comments:
I bet those researchers who came up with this are jealous of singletons leading a single care free life. Singletons can shag whoever they want, nobody to answer to when they get home, no need to attend boring PTA meetings and listen to some parents whining about their kids carrying too heavy school bags, needless to worry about their children’s sexual preferences when they grow up, etc.
Not all Singletons have emotional problems. (except my ex demented spinster boss) Mind you, Bridget Jones has 3 fabulous buddies to confide in. I bet there are certain things you don’t tell your wife/husband. That is why married people keep mistresses/ friends for f*cks.
Married couples, on the other hand, tend to have better diets and more comfortable homes. Children within a marriage are also thought to have a stabilizing effect, whereas single people are likely to take more risks.
Comments:
Most married couples do not cook at home now. They eat from Styrofoam cases and plastic bags. Microwave is now a bare essential. So it doesn’t make any difference.
Okay. I agree that children in proper marriages lived balanced lives – that also depends if both parents are not moronic.
Afterall, life is a risk. A gamble. Like they always say, no risk no gain.
The study found men who had never married or who were separated or divorced at the start of the research were 10% more likely to die during the following eight years.
Comments:
Those men probably were too happy to be single again and started shagging anything that crosses their paths. Probably that explains the increase of 10% death - most likely due to STDs and VDs. At least, we know they died as happy f*ckers.
Women who were single, separated or divorced had a 4.8% greater risks of dying. That compares to the 5% extra risk of dying faced by smokers – the Independent.
Comments:
Both my grandmothers lived till their ripe old age of 80s and 90s. Their husbands died when they were in their late 40s. Both my grandmothers survived 30 - 40 years longer than their husbands. And one of them wished that her husband should have died earlier to cause her less stress. Probably she could have lived till 100.
(Comments by yours truly)
Monday, August 30, 2004. The Sun, Page 9, World
London: Being single is as bad for you as smoking – or worse. For the Bridget Jones generation of 30-something single women, a major study brings the worst possible news – that on top of the cigarettes, wine and anxiety about weight, the very state of being single takes years off your life.
Comments:
I think I am doing fine. I don’t smoke, I drink occasionally, and I am anxious about my weight, but I am DOING something about it. Who wants to live forever anyway?
The research, which monitored the lifestyles of 10,000 adults across Britain over 10 years, has found that both men and women, being single is as perilous to longevity as smoking. The negative effects of being alone are thought to kick in when a person hits 30.
Comments:
I have another 2 more years to go before the negative effect kicks in. Action recommended for the time being – PARTY TILL I DROP! Those Brits are just being melodramatic.
Just why being single is so unhealthy is not clear, the researchers said.
Comments:
Abothen?? Those researchers should not have come up with this unhealthy remark if there is no concrete evidence, and cause unnecessary stress to singles out there. Singletons can sue you, you know!
Much like Bridget Jones, who defined the anxieties of a female generation, it is thought single people tend to follow less healthy lifestyles.
Comments:
Asians are likely to do better. We still live with our parents even if we are married. Those singles who live with parents, get better treatment – free maid service (cooking, washing and tidying the house), free jaga service (someone to take care of your house while you work), free gardening service (my dad is fanatic about gardening), etc. Hence, singletons in fact, have more time to exercise!
They drink more because they socialize more with large groups of friends, they skip meals, such as breakfast, and work harder because there is no partner to make time for. And they do not have an emotional confidant to share problems with.
Comments:
I bet those researchers who came up with this are jealous of singletons leading a single care free life. Singletons can shag whoever they want, nobody to answer to when they get home, no need to attend boring PTA meetings and listen to some parents whining about their kids carrying too heavy school bags, needless to worry about their children’s sexual preferences when they grow up, etc.
Not all Singletons have emotional problems. (except my ex demented spinster boss) Mind you, Bridget Jones has 3 fabulous buddies to confide in. I bet there are certain things you don’t tell your wife/husband. That is why married people keep mistresses/ friends for f*cks.
Married couples, on the other hand, tend to have better diets and more comfortable homes. Children within a marriage are also thought to have a stabilizing effect, whereas single people are likely to take more risks.
Comments:
Most married couples do not cook at home now. They eat from Styrofoam cases and plastic bags. Microwave is now a bare essential. So it doesn’t make any difference.
Okay. I agree that children in proper marriages lived balanced lives – that also depends if both parents are not moronic.
Afterall, life is a risk. A gamble. Like they always say, no risk no gain.
The study found men who had never married or who were separated or divorced at the start of the research were 10% more likely to die during the following eight years.
Comments:
Those men probably were too happy to be single again and started shagging anything that crosses their paths. Probably that explains the increase of 10% death - most likely due to STDs and VDs. At least, we know they died as happy f*ckers.
Women who were single, separated or divorced had a 4.8% greater risks of dying. That compares to the 5% extra risk of dying faced by smokers – the Independent.
Comments:
Both my grandmothers lived till their ripe old age of 80s and 90s. Their husbands died when they were in their late 40s. Both my grandmothers survived 30 - 40 years longer than their husbands. And one of them wished that her husband should have died earlier to cause her less stress. Probably she could have lived till 100.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
JOY TO THE TAN’S WORLD
If you want to know what joy is, go visit the Tan’s family.
Joy comes in perfect doses of calmness, peace, happiness, tenderness and lots and lots of love. Joy is Baby Jesse.
I am sure daddy will show more of Jesse in the future. This is just the thriller. Enjoy!
Bliss
Peace
Tender Love
Celebrate!
Joy comes in perfect doses of calmness, peace, happiness, tenderness and lots and lots of love. Joy is Baby Jesse.
I am sure daddy will show more of Jesse in the future. This is just the thriller. Enjoy!
Bliss
Peace
Tender Love
Celebrate!
Saturday, August 28, 2004
CHINESE TEA AND MR CURLY
One piece of advice for people who goes for yum cha sessions: Never ever go to Chinese restaurant for supper at night. I am now insomniac due to overdose of Chinese Tea.
I have an hour more to sleep before I haul my ass to pick up two friends arriving from Johore to celebrate their Merdeka weekend here in KL. One of them work in Singapore. Patriotic eh?
There is a new addition to the Supper Gang: Mr Curly.
The supper gang were all from the same class, except yours truly. They were from the accounting cum additional math class while I was in science.
Mr Curly and myself had a little incident when we were back in Form 5 which made us stopped talking to each other for years.
I was 16, and he was 17 when this happened.
We took the same tuition class in Kasturi for SPM the fateful year. Since both of us were staying in the same residential area (still are), we made a pack to go home together. It was all okay till one fine day, due to my carefree nature and his ignorance, the news of me, having hots for him became the sizzling topic in school.
I accidentally held his hands when we were crossing the busy road in Petaling Street. It was merely an unconscious voluntary reaction on my part and involuntary reaction on his part. He was shocked that he actually stood frozen in the middle of the road. If I didn’t shout at him to move his ass from the middle of the road, he wouldn’t live long enough to see us for supper today.
Self: Eh! Sorry ah! I thought you were one of the girls!
Mr Curly: …….
I went to great extent to explaining myself. If you don’t believe me, thinking I was trying to molest him, please! I wouldn’t touch him with a ten feet pole! I swear! Ask Ann. I always held her hands whenever we cross the road to morning breakfast!
I didn’t know what he was trying to do – maybe nak tumpang glamour? (Translation: Piggy back on my glamour as I was quite popular in school at that point of time – not in the sense of being drop dead gorgeous, I was just plain brainy – ahem!)
It was then, the Monk came to my classroom and dropped the bomb. I was so furious with Mr Curly and refused to listen to his explanation and we haven’t talked since.
He was uncomfortable when the Monk teased him again last week during supper when I was not around. (I was in the Organic farm with six spinsters).
Just now, when we were talking about old times – he said he thought I went to this Selayang school only when I was in Form 5. I started schooling there in Form 2. I didn’t know a person of my size could be invisible in school – I take that as a compliment.
He kept on insisting that he didn’t notice me till we were in Form 5. Sensing his tinge of uneasiness, I said, “Yeah! Of coz you only notice me when we were in Form 5. I held your hands when we went tuition together. Remember??”
Then, the whole gang roared with laughter at this remark. The coast is clear now. The Supper Gang is planning for a Malacca trip in two weeks time – with Mr Curly as the driver.
I have an hour more to sleep before I haul my ass to pick up two friends arriving from Johore to celebrate their Merdeka weekend here in KL. One of them work in Singapore. Patriotic eh?
There is a new addition to the Supper Gang: Mr Curly.
The supper gang were all from the same class, except yours truly. They were from the accounting cum additional math class while I was in science.
Mr Curly and myself had a little incident when we were back in Form 5 which made us stopped talking to each other for years.
I was 16, and he was 17 when this happened.
We took the same tuition class in Kasturi for SPM the fateful year. Since both of us were staying in the same residential area (still are), we made a pack to go home together. It was all okay till one fine day, due to my carefree nature and his ignorance, the news of me, having hots for him became the sizzling topic in school.
I accidentally held his hands when we were crossing the busy road in Petaling Street. It was merely an unconscious voluntary reaction on my part and involuntary reaction on his part. He was shocked that he actually stood frozen in the middle of the road. If I didn’t shout at him to move his ass from the middle of the road, he wouldn’t live long enough to see us for supper today.
Self: Eh! Sorry ah! I thought you were one of the girls!
Mr Curly: …….
I went to great extent to explaining myself. If you don’t believe me, thinking I was trying to molest him, please! I wouldn’t touch him with a ten feet pole! I swear! Ask Ann. I always held her hands whenever we cross the road to morning breakfast!
I didn’t know what he was trying to do – maybe nak tumpang glamour? (Translation: Piggy back on my glamour as I was quite popular in school at that point of time – not in the sense of being drop dead gorgeous, I was just plain brainy – ahem!)
It was then, the Monk came to my classroom and dropped the bomb. I was so furious with Mr Curly and refused to listen to his explanation and we haven’t talked since.
He was uncomfortable when the Monk teased him again last week during supper when I was not around. (I was in the Organic farm with six spinsters).
Just now, when we were talking about old times – he said he thought I went to this Selayang school only when I was in Form 5. I started schooling there in Form 2. I didn’t know a person of my size could be invisible in school – I take that as a compliment.
He kept on insisting that he didn’t notice me till we were in Form 5. Sensing his tinge of uneasiness, I said, “Yeah! Of coz you only notice me when we were in Form 5. I held your hands when we went tuition together. Remember??”
Then, the whole gang roared with laughter at this remark. The coast is clear now. The Supper Gang is planning for a Malacca trip in two weeks time – with Mr Curly as the driver.
Friday, August 27, 2004
MAY YOU BE WELL AND HAPPY
When I first came to Kuala Lumpur, I was moving from school to school, not because I was ill-discipline, I have parents who couldn’t make up their minds. It was an ordeal. I always wanted to stay back in Taiping, my beloved hometown.
I was finally based in SM Selayang Bharu. Fresh from all-girl school, I was able to blend into this co-ed school without many hassles. I just couldn’t stand the bad conditions in the school; holes in black boards, gangs fighting all the time, teachers who couldn’t be bothered to come to class (as I was placed into the second last class, 2A4), no one spoke a word of English, etc
I decided to make the most of it, despite lack of guidance and resources. In no time, everyone knew my name – the new faceless girl (like I said – just the name) from a hopeless class, scoring the highest marks for English language and most subjects..
The first time I set my eyes on him was when I was in Form 2. He would always come to class (2A1) right on time – exactly at 1.05 pm, right on the dot when the school bell rings. It was as if he activated the school bell by stepping into the school compound.
The Malay girls in my class would tell me – “Itu dia- si panjang!” (There – the tallest guy in school). He walked funny. Slouching and in quick staccato steps.
We were in the same Chinese language class (POL- People’s Own Language) conducted on weekends. I brought my sister along with me on the first day – see, there was no security or restriction in this school. When the teacher finished introducing herself, she invited questions from the class. Bad move. He asked too many questions – it was as if the entire class consists of only him and the teacher.
My sis was annoyed. “Who is that?? Why he ask so many questions?? Why can’t he shut up??” I was actually glad as I didn’t have to pay attention in class. I won’t be able to follow anyway! That was my first and last day in that class.
When the term for form 3 started, I was so worried to be separated from my hokkien-speaking friends. I don’t speak a word of Cantonese. My classmates encouraged me to go to Form 3A1, the cream of the school. I was skeptical. What if my name was not listed in the list? It would be ridiculous. Somehow or another, I was persuaded and took a fumble step into Form 3A1 classroom. The girls welcomed me with open arms. There were only 7 Chinese in the class, out of the class of about 40.
First day in Form 3 proved to be nerve wrecking. I kept vigil for my name to be called out. Having a “C” as my surname didn’t help either. I didn’t know why my name was listed at the end of the page. Probably last minute decision.
When my name was called, I heaved a sigh of relief and went about trying to yak rustily in Cantonese and Mandarin all at the same time.
Skinny Girl (My partner in class): Ni you wei sen ken mah? (Mandarin: Do you have sanitary pads?)
Self: Huh? *blinking blur blur*
Skinny Girl: Wai Sang Kan ah? (Cantonese: Sanitary pad)
Self: Huh?
Skinny Girl: Aiyo…. Tuala wanita ah! (Malay: Sanitary pad)
*Embarrassed*
I decided to stay out from this conversation to avoid looking stupid. I could feel that he was watching from the front of the class. When I looked his way, he looked away. Shy?
A classmate from the other corner of the class invited me to join them. I walked towards them, didn’t realize that my pinafore was stuck into the chair for sitting too long. It caused a loud screeching sound when I dragged the chair with my skirt stuck on it. He laughed out loud and then trying to cover his snickering with both his hands. I smiled embarrassingly. The ice was broken.
Today, 14 years later, we are still friends. I don’t have to drag a chair with my skirt stuck on it to get his attention. I just need to blog every embarrassing thing about him here. Hahaha. Kidding.
Today is his birthday.
I dedicate this 100th post in my blog to one of the most important man in my life, that is, after my dad, my brother, James, Tom Cruise, Hugh Grant, Ralph Fiennes, Brad Pitt, etc. ok ok.. probably his degree of importance is immediately after Tom Cruise. (Hugh Grant’s score on his demerit card deteriorated after Divine intervention).
Happy Birthday, MONK! May you always be well and happy.
The Monk Mugshot
I was finally based in SM Selayang Bharu. Fresh from all-girl school, I was able to blend into this co-ed school without many hassles. I just couldn’t stand the bad conditions in the school; holes in black boards, gangs fighting all the time, teachers who couldn’t be bothered to come to class (as I was placed into the second last class, 2A4), no one spoke a word of English, etc
I decided to make the most of it, despite lack of guidance and resources. In no time, everyone knew my name – the new faceless girl (like I said – just the name) from a hopeless class, scoring the highest marks for English language and most subjects..
The first time I set my eyes on him was when I was in Form 2. He would always come to class (2A1) right on time – exactly at 1.05 pm, right on the dot when the school bell rings. It was as if he activated the school bell by stepping into the school compound.
The Malay girls in my class would tell me – “Itu dia- si panjang!” (There – the tallest guy in school). He walked funny. Slouching and in quick staccato steps.
We were in the same Chinese language class (POL- People’s Own Language) conducted on weekends. I brought my sister along with me on the first day – see, there was no security or restriction in this school. When the teacher finished introducing herself, she invited questions from the class. Bad move. He asked too many questions – it was as if the entire class consists of only him and the teacher.
My sis was annoyed. “Who is that?? Why he ask so many questions?? Why can’t he shut up??” I was actually glad as I didn’t have to pay attention in class. I won’t be able to follow anyway! That was my first and last day in that class.
When the term for form 3 started, I was so worried to be separated from my hokkien-speaking friends. I don’t speak a word of Cantonese. My classmates encouraged me to go to Form 3A1, the cream of the school. I was skeptical. What if my name was not listed in the list? It would be ridiculous. Somehow or another, I was persuaded and took a fumble step into Form 3A1 classroom. The girls welcomed me with open arms. There were only 7 Chinese in the class, out of the class of about 40.
First day in Form 3 proved to be nerve wrecking. I kept vigil for my name to be called out. Having a “C” as my surname didn’t help either. I didn’t know why my name was listed at the end of the page. Probably last minute decision.
When my name was called, I heaved a sigh of relief and went about trying to yak rustily in Cantonese and Mandarin all at the same time.
Skinny Girl (My partner in class): Ni you wei sen ken mah? (Mandarin: Do you have sanitary pads?)
Self: Huh? *blinking blur blur*
Skinny Girl: Wai Sang Kan ah? (Cantonese: Sanitary pad)
Self: Huh?
Skinny Girl: Aiyo…. Tuala wanita ah! (Malay: Sanitary pad)
*Embarrassed*
I decided to stay out from this conversation to avoid looking stupid. I could feel that he was watching from the front of the class. When I looked his way, he looked away. Shy?
A classmate from the other corner of the class invited me to join them. I walked towards them, didn’t realize that my pinafore was stuck into the chair for sitting too long. It caused a loud screeching sound when I dragged the chair with my skirt stuck on it. He laughed out loud and then trying to cover his snickering with both his hands. I smiled embarrassingly. The ice was broken.
Today, 14 years later, we are still friends. I don’t have to drag a chair with my skirt stuck on it to get his attention. I just need to blog every embarrassing thing about him here. Hahaha. Kidding.
Today is his birthday.
I dedicate this 100th post in my blog to one of the most important man in my life, that is, after my dad, my brother, James, Tom Cruise, Hugh Grant, Ralph Fiennes, Brad Pitt, etc. ok ok.. probably his degree of importance is immediately after Tom Cruise. (Hugh Grant’s score on his demerit card deteriorated after Divine intervention).
Happy Birthday, MONK! May you always be well and happy.
The Monk Mugshot
Thursday, August 26, 2004
THE LAUNCH OF THE MILLENNIUM
7.42 a.m.
Office
Was about to sms a buddy, James, to wish him good luck for today’s business presentation and also to check out how his pregnant wife is doing.
He sms-ed me instead: Standby for launch! Today is the day!!
Woah…. Speak of the devil! Choy! Choy! I mean, Praise the Lord!
Like my friends always say, if you want to spread news, be it birthdays, weddings, change of phone numbers, etc just tell Gina. She would tell the whole world. *Jeng Jeng Jeng* Not to worry. I spread only the ethical stuffs.
I sms-ed Pilot Boy, Ann, Shine and Wai Ye, the old #Marquis gang which used to hang out together.
Pilot Boy: Hehe, launch already or not? Am on the way to the airport. Hope to hear good news soon.
So, Baby Jesse is a Virgo. My favorite starsign. Most of my ex boyfriends are virgos (We parted amicably). I will get along very well with Baby Jesse! Erm.. ain’t no paedophile. Didn’t mean that.
That is IF James even let me go near him as I am such a bad influence. I am cynical, blunt and what he can’t stand about me most - I am a wet blanket.
I am keeping my fingers crossed and pray for safe delivery for both mom and son. And hope daddy James doesn’t slip into comatose after witnessing the bloody event (Pun intended).
#Marquis – one of the many IRC channels in Dalnet, now defunct.
Office
Was about to sms a buddy, James, to wish him good luck for today’s business presentation and also to check out how his pregnant wife is doing.
He sms-ed me instead: Standby for launch! Today is the day!!
Woah…. Speak of the devil! Choy! Choy! I mean, Praise the Lord!
Like my friends always say, if you want to spread news, be it birthdays, weddings, change of phone numbers, etc just tell Gina. She would tell the whole world. *Jeng Jeng Jeng* Not to worry. I spread only the ethical stuffs.
I sms-ed Pilot Boy, Ann, Shine and Wai Ye, the old #Marquis gang which used to hang out together.
Pilot Boy: Hehe, launch already or not? Am on the way to the airport. Hope to hear good news soon.
So, Baby Jesse is a Virgo. My favorite starsign. Most of my ex boyfriends are virgos (We parted amicably). I will get along very well with Baby Jesse! Erm.. ain’t no paedophile. Didn’t mean that.
That is IF James even let me go near him as I am such a bad influence. I am cynical, blunt and what he can’t stand about me most - I am a wet blanket.
The first time we met 6½ years ago:I would probably influence Baby Jesse to be like me and wetting the blanket as well. (This one no need to teach - all babies do that.)
James: Hi.
Self: Shit! You look like my dead uncle!
When we surveyed for ideas to renovate his condominium at a friend’s house:
James: I love that wooden flooring!
Self: Termites!
When he showed me his condominium (the one with a pool looking more like a septic tank rather than a swimming pool – with a dead frog to boot):
James: At least it’s airy here.
Self: Probably that is the only consolation of staying here.
He was about to throw me off the 10th floor if Mae didn’t stop him.
I am keeping my fingers crossed and pray for safe delivery for both mom and son. And hope daddy James doesn’t slip into comatose after witnessing the bloody event (Pun intended).
#Marquis – one of the many IRC channels in Dalnet, now defunct.
Update:
There is a new kid in town. Our little boy, Jesse Tan, all 3 kgs worth, landed on Earth this afternoon! -James & Mae
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
TOP TEN REASONS - IT’S COOL TO BE FAT
Disclaimer: This is not to offend any horizontally challenged people out there. This is SOLELY based on my OWN experience.
Here they are in no particular order…
(1) There is no need of you to take leave during sale unlike the majority with standard sizes as there bound to be oversized clothes for you to choose from. You just have to compete with the minority fat people around.
(2) You always get the front passenger seat while your skinny colleagues cramped in the back seat, smelling each others’ armpits, for lunch outing on Fridays.
(3) If you drive a very small and light car(if you could get in it at the first place - tricky), you don’t have to worry your car turning turtle when negotiating a sharp corner as your weight could act as stabilizer/inertia.
(4) You can have all the helpings as much as you wanted in a buffet without worrying about people staring at you out of suspicion. (you are fat what - eat all you want!)
(5) You are a pillow during a long distance journey to your friends who would very much appreciate you.
(6) Kidnappers would think twice before even kidnapping you as they are worried they might not be able to haul you into their get-away vehicle. (Also, you might tend to throw big tantrum whenever you are hungry even before the ransom money is delivered.)
(7) You don’t have to worry about guy friends molesting you while sleeping in the same room as you do not have sex appeal.
(8) When a car or motorbike gelek your feet accidently, you don’t have to worry about breaking any bones as your fat deposit will be able to cushion the crushing effect. (my own experience – 2x)
(9) You can donate blood to help needy people as you will never be underweight to qualify.(unless you are hypertensive)
(10) You get employed real fast as your employer would think nobody would want you as a spouse so you would concentrate on your work 100%. (My lady boss said I am hired coz I am cute - probably indirectly that is what she meant)
Here they are in no particular order…
(1) There is no need of you to take leave during sale unlike the majority with standard sizes as there bound to be oversized clothes for you to choose from. You just have to compete with the minority fat people around.
(2) You always get the front passenger seat while your skinny colleagues cramped in the back seat, smelling each others’ armpits, for lunch outing on Fridays.
(3) If you drive a very small and light car(if you could get in it at the first place - tricky), you don’t have to worry your car turning turtle when negotiating a sharp corner as your weight could act as stabilizer/inertia.
(4) You can have all the helpings as much as you wanted in a buffet without worrying about people staring at you out of suspicion. (you are fat what - eat all you want!)
(5) You are a pillow during a long distance journey to your friends who would very much appreciate you.
(6) Kidnappers would think twice before even kidnapping you as they are worried they might not be able to haul you into their get-away vehicle. (Also, you might tend to throw big tantrum whenever you are hungry even before the ransom money is delivered.)
(7) You don’t have to worry about guy friends molesting you while sleeping in the same room as you do not have sex appeal.
(8) When a car or motorbike gelek your feet accidently, you don’t have to worry about breaking any bones as your fat deposit will be able to cushion the crushing effect. (my own experience – 2x)
(9) You can donate blood to help needy people as you will never be underweight to qualify.(unless you are hypertensive)
(10) You get employed real fast as your employer would think nobody would want you as a spouse so you would concentrate on your work 100%. (My lady boss said I am hired coz I am cute - probably indirectly that is what she meant)
Weight Management
I shed 11.5 kgs since May 2004!! I celebrated with a piece of Strawberry Vanilla Cream Cake, a glass of Starfruit juice, a glass of Apple Juice and a plate of fries… Sigh.. Old habits die hard.
Related Stories/Categories: Serious Business, Top Ten, Top Ten Reasons I am not a Christian
Monday, August 23, 2004
FISHY MONDAY
23.08.2004
1.08 pm
Office
Didn’t go out for lunch today. I am looking for something productive to do – like reading a book during lunch rather than wasting time talking frivolously. It is a bad habit to talk about other people’s shortcomings – don’t we all?
I have not been out for lunch for the past two weeks, much to Sugar’s dismay. Everybody wanted me as lunch mate coz I entertain them. Not that I am so full of myself - I could just whipped something funny to say out of thin air. It is a shame I am not a stand-up comedian. Should think of becoming one as a part time job rather than selling insurance – you get a lot of shit from people. Discounts, discounts, discounts - Do I look like the auntie selling bras and panties in pasar malam to you?? Even if I made it to the Million Dollar Round Table, I will still be a million dollar poorer. Everything is discounted.
Sorry, a bit edgy today.
It’s Monday. My tea lady in the office – Madam V, who makes kick-ass Nescafe, was so disturbed this morning on the way to work – witnessing a freak accident in Jalan Ampang. A Chinese lady was lying down on the road, apparently, knocked down by a motorcycle.
Back in office, the two gold fish belonging to the MD’s secretary, Ms Baboon, died as the electricity was cut off during the weekend. This genius left the aquarium with the decaying bodies of the bloated fish in the toilet basin which obviously do not need any assistance in adding fishy smell to the place.
All the electric panels in the pantry and lights in the toilet were not working this morning and the Head of Card Centre Department was grumbling having to grope in the dark to take a leak.
Black Monday? I guess so. Hope yours ain’t that bad.
1.08 pm
Office
Didn’t go out for lunch today. I am looking for something productive to do – like reading a book during lunch rather than wasting time talking frivolously. It is a bad habit to talk about other people’s shortcomings – don’t we all?
I have not been out for lunch for the past two weeks, much to Sugar’s dismay. Everybody wanted me as lunch mate coz I entertain them. Not that I am so full of myself - I could just whipped something funny to say out of thin air. It is a shame I am not a stand-up comedian. Should think of becoming one as a part time job rather than selling insurance – you get a lot of shit from people. Discounts, discounts, discounts - Do I look like the auntie selling bras and panties in pasar malam to you?? Even if I made it to the Million Dollar Round Table, I will still be a million dollar poorer. Everything is discounted.
Sorry, a bit edgy today.
It’s Monday. My tea lady in the office – Madam V, who makes kick-ass Nescafe, was so disturbed this morning on the way to work – witnessing a freak accident in Jalan Ampang. A Chinese lady was lying down on the road, apparently, knocked down by a motorcycle.
Back in office, the two gold fish belonging to the MD’s secretary, Ms Baboon, died as the electricity was cut off during the weekend. This genius left the aquarium with the decaying bodies of the bloated fish in the toilet basin which obviously do not need any assistance in adding fishy smell to the place.
All the electric panels in the pantry and lights in the toilet were not working this morning and the Head of Card Centre Department was grumbling having to grope in the dark to take a leak.
Black Monday? I guess so. Hope yours ain’t that bad.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
THE ORGANIC HORROR OF SEVEN SPINSTERS
Friend: So, What are you doing this weekend?
Self: Going off to some farm with six spinsters, to get in touch with the vegetables as therapy.
Friend: Cucumber?
Self: I prefer carrots.
Bad alternative to Diet Camps
Nope. I am not talking about ghost stories or the new movie, the Village. Perhaps a little bit of the Village. Like the story goes, it was a man made hoax to prevent villagers from migrating out of the village (something to that effect – I have yet to watch it). In Titi Eco Farm Resort, the owner closes its door by 6.00 p.m. to prevent its hapless patrons from escaping involuntary detention at its “resort”.
Titi Eco Farm is situated in between Semenyih and Kuala Klawang. If you don’t know the directions there, stop to ask the friendly people in Semenyih, they would be more than happy to help you. (If you still plan to go after reading this blog). The map given is totally useless.
Self: Uncle#! Is this the way to Titi Eco Farm? *Showed him the map*
Uncle: *Gulp* It’s a jungle out there! You sure you ladies wanna go there? You sure?
# In Malaysia, we address anyone older than us by Uncle or Auntie out of courtesy, even if we have no relations.
The seven of us – all unmarried ladies in their late 20s and early 30s went to this farm organized by Ms Tambi (my gullible ex manager) on Saturday. We parted in two separate cars – my car catered for those under 30 (Still-got-hope spinsters) while Ms Tambi’s car took those above 30 (running-out-of-time spinsters).
The journey sure dampened anyone’s mood – winding road and uphill. Those who have motion sickness – get ready your puke bags. No wonder Uncle was worried when we stopped for directions. There was an overturn lorry at one sharp corner. The only consolation was probably the nice view at Semenyih dam.
Semenyih dam
It is not a boring place if you are a FANATIC organic food lover. Ms Tambi and another friend seemed to be enjoying themselves. It is definitely not a place for those city dwellers who couldn’t last an hour in the morning without a cup of caffeine laden beverage – coffee.
We were shocked when we were denied hot water to make our own coffee this morning, as the workers at this “resort” insisted us to have a healthy lifestyle – making us drink water from unidentified boiled leaves and a plate of fruit platter with dried hibiscus petals as breakfast.
Eating Vagina
Ms Tambi: What are you eating?
Self: Vagina.
Come to think of it, aren’t that reproductive organs of a plant? Fruits – ovaries, petals – vaginas, pollen – sperms, etc?
It was indeed an uneventful two days. The elderly were so bored that they asked if they could play mahjong. The children complained about the food. I saw a kid with red spots all over her face. What do you expect? It is a mosquitoes infested area. I think we are there to feed these blood suckers. They should pay us instead! At night, it was the mosquitoes net securing you from all kinds of bugs hovering at your verandah. Scary. It were as if you were in some B grade movie, featuring flesh-eating bugs.
Children at the brink of suicide over hunger
There is nothing much to talk about this trip except boredom, no coffee, eating plants reproductive organs, complaints, complaints and more complaints. Not to mention you have risk your life driving on the winding road.
And you have to wash your own dishes. A mother was screaming at her son for leaving the mug for her to wash. She reacted by throwing the forks and spoons into the basket provided as if she had been possessed by a lazy ghost. Should have brought along her maid to this resort.
TFF, YCF and myself went back earlier than scheduled as we couldn’t tolerate another meal with the five shades of greens. We went to Ampang for Yong Tau Foo instead.
Ampang Yong Tau Foo
Some pics of Titi Eco Farm Resort. Looks can be deceiving. Now I understand.
Conned by the alluring exterior of the resort
The Swamp thing?
Sunset
Pretty Yellow Flowers in such a boring place
Self: Going off to some farm with six spinsters, to get in touch with the vegetables as therapy.
Friend: Cucumber?
Self: I prefer carrots.
Bad alternative to Diet Camps
Nope. I am not talking about ghost stories or the new movie, the Village. Perhaps a little bit of the Village. Like the story goes, it was a man made hoax to prevent villagers from migrating out of the village (something to that effect – I have yet to watch it). In Titi Eco Farm Resort, the owner closes its door by 6.00 p.m. to prevent its hapless patrons from escaping involuntary detention at its “resort”.
Titi Eco Farm is situated in between Semenyih and Kuala Klawang. If you don’t know the directions there, stop to ask the friendly people in Semenyih, they would be more than happy to help you. (If you still plan to go after reading this blog). The map given is totally useless.
Self: Uncle#! Is this the way to Titi Eco Farm? *Showed him the map*
Uncle: *Gulp* It’s a jungle out there! You sure you ladies wanna go there? You sure?
# In Malaysia, we address anyone older than us by Uncle or Auntie out of courtesy, even if we have no relations.
The seven of us – all unmarried ladies in their late 20s and early 30s went to this farm organized by Ms Tambi (my gullible ex manager) on Saturday. We parted in two separate cars – my car catered for those under 30 (Still-got-hope spinsters) while Ms Tambi’s car took those above 30 (running-out-of-time spinsters).
The journey sure dampened anyone’s mood – winding road and uphill. Those who have motion sickness – get ready your puke bags. No wonder Uncle was worried when we stopped for directions. There was an overturn lorry at one sharp corner. The only consolation was probably the nice view at Semenyih dam.
Semenyih dam
Itinery Saturday, 21 August 2004
2.00 pm – Checking in
3.00 pm – Waterfall – unguided. Meaning you have to drive down the long and winding road again yourself and see the waterfall which is now under renovation – what?? Waterfall under renovation? You mean it is not natural? We made a pass. I brought my swimsuit for nothing.
5.00 pm – Fibre Bread making demonstration. Looks easy. But the bread taste bland. Prefer the RM3.50 gardenia bread, and you don’t get your hands dirty
6.00 pm – Dinner. It sure consists of five colored vegetables as recommended by the nutritionists for healthy eating– light green, pastel green, dark green, blue green and shit green. I have met my fibre intake quota for the entire week with this one meal.
8.00 pm – Fire Flies – depending on weather. Pathetic. I don’t think I need to pay RM160/- to see that two fire flies at Kuala Selangor even if they are at the brink of extinction. (RM640/- (@#$%^&* expensive if you tell me) quad sharing room with no air condition and the electricity is limited – 12 hours standby solar energy)
8.30 pm - Star gazing. I could see stars from my house balcony, minus the mosquitoes.
9.00 pm – Organic farming methods. I made a pass and went to my room to shower and read a book.
Vegetarian Prison
Itinery – Sunday, 22 August 2004 – Oh… screw it.
It is not a boring place if you are a FANATIC organic food lover. Ms Tambi and another friend seemed to be enjoying themselves. It is definitely not a place for those city dwellers who couldn’t last an hour in the morning without a cup of caffeine laden beverage – coffee.
We were shocked when we were denied hot water to make our own coffee this morning, as the workers at this “resort” insisted us to have a healthy lifestyle – making us drink water from unidentified boiled leaves and a plate of fruit platter with dried hibiscus petals as breakfast.
Eating Vagina
Ms Tambi: What are you eating?
Self: Vagina.
Come to think of it, aren’t that reproductive organs of a plant? Fruits – ovaries, petals – vaginas, pollen – sperms, etc?
It was indeed an uneventful two days. The elderly were so bored that they asked if they could play mahjong. The children complained about the food. I saw a kid with red spots all over her face. What do you expect? It is a mosquitoes infested area. I think we are there to feed these blood suckers. They should pay us instead! At night, it was the mosquitoes net securing you from all kinds of bugs hovering at your verandah. Scary. It were as if you were in some B grade movie, featuring flesh-eating bugs.
Children at the brink of suicide over hunger
There is nothing much to talk about this trip except boredom, no coffee, eating plants reproductive organs, complaints, complaints and more complaints. Not to mention you have risk your life driving on the winding road.
And you have to wash your own dishes. A mother was screaming at her son for leaving the mug for her to wash. She reacted by throwing the forks and spoons into the basket provided as if she had been possessed by a lazy ghost. Should have brought along her maid to this resort.
TFF, YCF and myself went back earlier than scheduled as we couldn’t tolerate another meal with the five shades of greens. We went to Ampang for Yong Tau Foo instead.
Ampang Yong Tau Foo
Some pics of Titi Eco Farm Resort. Looks can be deceiving. Now I understand.
Conned by the alluring exterior of the resort
The Swamp thing?
Sunset
Pretty Yellow Flowers in such a boring place
Friday, August 20, 2004
LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA
Why is love so strange? Love in the time of Cholera is a bizarre yet, very romantic example, even more soulful if were to compare to the infamous Romeo and Juliet (in my humble opinion)
It was indeed a coincidence to bring this book to my trip as Plan B. I didn't know the story line till I accidently stumbled upon the highlight of the novel in the Star Newspapers, 17 August 2004, then decided to google to find out more:
In a totally unrelated matter- Leo came to visit me out of the blue. I grumpily get the door, thinking it was the moronic parents of the babies we are baby sitting. Dumb founded, it was him.
The expected happened. He handed an invitation to his wedding reception personally. I am the first to receive.
I am happy for him, whole heartedly, and sincerely wish him all the happiness in the world.
It was indeed a coincidence to bring this book to my trip as Plan B. I didn't know the story line till I accidently stumbled upon the highlight of the novel in the Star Newspapers, 17 August 2004, then decided to google to find out more:
".....Having sworn to love Fermina Daza forever, he settles in to wait for as long as he has to until she's free again. This turns out to be 51 years, 9 months and 4 days later, when suddenly, absurdly, on a Pentecost Sunday around 1930, Dr. Juvenal Urbino dies, chasing a parrot upon mango tree. After the funeral, when everyone else has left, Florentino steps forward with his hat over his heart "Fermina," he declares, "I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love....."So.. meaning, I have another 38 years to go? Okay. If I live that long with my hypertension and possibly cholesterol problems. Tragic. Now I know why Kat bought me this book!
In a totally unrelated matter- Leo came to visit me out of the blue. I grumpily get the door, thinking it was the moronic parents of the babies we are baby sitting. Dumb founded, it was him.
The expected happened. He handed an invitation to his wedding reception personally. I am the first to receive.
I am happy for him, whole heartedly, and sincerely wish him all the happiness in the world.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YABBA!
This post is for Yabba aka Dennis.
Yesterday, I called Yabba to check out what's up with him since I haven't seen him in ages. Told me to see him for dinner at my old office.
I HAVE to go the the gym since I have been missing in action for awhile. Even TFF, my gym mate couldn't locate me in the gym these days.
Yabba: So now how? It is either the gym or me! Pick your choice!
Self: Errr....
Yabba: Gym more important or I am more important? *Losing patience*
Self: Errr.... *I was about to say the gym if it weren't his birthday today*
Yabba: Wah... must take so long to think ah?? Shuen lah! (Cantonese: Saying never mind with a tinge of hurt)
Self: Okay Okay! I will come and see you for dinner. Screw gym!
That is Gina. The crowd pleaser.
Happy birthday, Yabba! It is a blessing to have you as a friend.
P.S. Happy Birthday to Pey Fen & Fred (17 Aug)
Yesterday, I called Yabba to check out what's up with him since I haven't seen him in ages. Told me to see him for dinner at my old office.
I HAVE to go the the gym since I have been missing in action for awhile. Even TFF, my gym mate couldn't locate me in the gym these days.
Yabba: So now how? It is either the gym or me! Pick your choice!
Self: Errr....
Yabba: Gym more important or I am more important? *Losing patience*
Self: Errr.... *I was about to say the gym if it weren't his birthday today*
Yabba: Wah... must take so long to think ah?? Shuen lah! (Cantonese: Saying never mind with a tinge of hurt)
Self: Okay Okay! I will come and see you for dinner. Screw gym!
That is Gina. The crowd pleaser.
Happy birthday, Yabba! It is a blessing to have you as a friend.
P.S. Happy Birthday to Pey Fen & Fred (17 Aug)
Gym Activities today
Cross trainer + tread Mill: Burnt 350 calories in 40 mins
Dessert: Couldn't locate the stripper. Saw Kenny flirting with a member. You should listen to his voice when he was talking to that girl- so damn... lecherous. Even the girl was disgusted.
Related stories: How much is the Doggie in the Window?, Manic Monday
Monday, August 16, 2004
THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX
Yesterday, I showed the Supper Gang this blog (they are totally ignorant about it till now) and some pics/videos I took while we were at Perhentian Islands. They were shocked shitless to see themselves topless and scratching all parts of their bodies (including “there”) in public as secretly captured by my trustworthy digital camera.
I was almost killed by the gang, having 20 burger ayam special stuffed in my face. Ok ok. I exaggerated. The three of them are really mild mannered people. I am now the official paparazzi of this gang. Digital cameras will be officially banned from future outings.
Apart from usual gossips about an estranged friend who is now in deep shit for having borrowed money from loan sharks and ways to avoid being ambushed by latest wedding dinner invitations, the gang spoke about religion.
We are planning to have another outing sometime soon. Inevitably, they talked about spooks in hotels in some highland resorts.
The Monk said that everywhere, there bound to be spirits/ the unknown/ the super natural filling the space of a room. These “things” wait patiently for a couple/ couples (depending on your preference: twosome, threesome or gang bang?) to get jiggy and hoped that fertilization(s) would happened in order for them to reincarnate. This is downright scary if you tell me.
It left me a sleepless night.
The Monk: … blah blah.. those spirits would take as many opportunities as possible to reincarnate as they have limited time… blah blah..
Self: You mean, they have expiry dates for reincarnation?
The Monk: *LOL*
This morning, office e-mails abuse striked again.
I was almost killed by the gang, having 20 burger ayam special stuffed in my face. Ok ok. I exaggerated. The three of them are really mild mannered people. I am now the official paparazzi of this gang. Digital cameras will be officially banned from future outings.
Apart from usual gossips about an estranged friend who is now in deep shit for having borrowed money from loan sharks and ways to avoid being ambushed by latest wedding dinner invitations, the gang spoke about religion.
We are planning to have another outing sometime soon. Inevitably, they talked about spooks in hotels in some highland resorts.
The Monk said that everywhere, there bound to be spirits/ the unknown/ the super natural filling the space of a room. These “things” wait patiently for a couple/ couples (depending on your preference: twosome, threesome or gang bang?) to get jiggy and hoped that fertilization(s) would happened in order for them to reincarnate. This is downright scary if you tell me.
It left me a sleepless night.
The Monk: … blah blah.. those spirits would take as many opportunities as possible to reincarnate as they have limited time… blah blah..
Self: You mean, they have expiry dates for reincarnation?
The Monk: *LOL*
This morning, office e-mails abuse striked again.
----Original Message-----
From: Gina
To: The Monk
Sent: 2004年8月16日 8:32
Subject: morning
yesterday nite, after you told me about the shagging in hotels, and those spirits waiting for reincarnate should the girl conceive left me a restless night. thank you very much.
----- Original Message -----
From: The Monk
To: Gina
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 8:44 AM
Subject: RE: morning
Aiyoh,...come on...are you irritated coz lack of sleep from the story I told? Actually, not only in hotels, they are everywhere.. whenever the action is on ...can be in your house...in the kancil...under the bridge...in the jungle...Yes, this is true. Please read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.
-----Original Message-----
From: Gina
To: The Monk
Sent: 2004年8月16日 9:00
Subject: Re: morning
do you have the book? you know i can't read Chinese. this is so damn scary. how come Christians don’t believe in reincarnation?
I asked a Christian friend, if there is no reincarnation, then heaven will be over populated. Of coz there must be something happen in order to ensure the whole "after-life" thingy is not over crowded.
i think too much.
----- Original Message -----
From: The Monk
To: Gina
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 9:41 AM
Subject: RE: morning
I just tried to google it but couldn’t seemed to find......Aiyo, this is quite normal, dont overstress yourself......furthermore, those unknown are just waiting for a chance...they won’t disturb people...Namo Amitabha...make yourself at ease...
-----Original Message-----
From: Gina
To: The Monk
Sent: 2004年8月16日 10:15
Subject: Re: morning
Haven’t even start doing "it", already being warned of those things looking at you when you are in action. how to relax? Is that a hoax to scare people ?
When horny, start to think of the "things"surrounding them, they sure ran out of mood. Now I understand why Kit keeps so many amulets in his room.. Hmmph.
This scare the shit outta me. Was it your plan to prevent me from enjoying myself? If you want to remain celibate, that is your problem lah. You are so evil.
----- Original Message -----
From: The Monk
To: Gina
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 10:25 AM
Subject: RE: morning
Cheh, I just want you to know the truth...Who knows you would be overly concerned about the unseen things surrounding you. You never seen these things before, why are you so freaked out?...See, get yourself into trouble...like you always do. Self-torture prone, pity you girl!
-----Original Message-----
From: Gina
Sent: 2004年8月16日 10:52
To: The Monk
Subject: Re: morning
how do you know this is the truth?
Don’t you know all women are the same? We like self inflicted pain. it is a wonder that it is not a woman who invented Sado Machoism.
----- Original Message -----
From: The Monk
To: Gina
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 11:03 AM
Subject: RE: morning
This is true because those who have developed themselves spiritually strong will be able to witness this situation. Buddha always preaches the fact and also the ways to achieve it, to prove it. So, if you want to make sure it is 100% truth, try to follow His Teachings and you will be enlightened.
-----Original Message-----
From: Gina
To: The Monk
Sent: 2004年8月16日 11:13
Subject: Re: morning
I don't think I can take it. Probably die of heart attack the moment I see those things. I think Buddhism need brave people to practise. Cowards like me will be preparing for another cycle of reincarnation, till some fine day, I were to be made into someone brave enough like you, to alter my own course of life.
----- Original Message -----
From: The Monk
To: Gina
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 11:22 AM
Subject: RE: morning
Hey hey, are you ok? Serious tone detected here. Cheers cheers ...go to bar and have a beer.
Related Stories: Top Ten Reasons I am not a Christian
Saturday, August 14, 2004
PERHENTIAN TRIP: POST MORTEM – CONCLUSION – THE RETURN OF THE GANG
Monday, 9 August 2004, Perhentian Besar
The return trip was uneventful as the Monk and Kit had succumbed to fever and migraine. Don’t know what causes it. Too much salt water? Too much sun? Too much sand? Too much snorkeling? Too much ogling at semi nude women?
On the last morning, everyone was drained. After breakfast, the boys went back to the room to sleep. I took a stroll on the quiet beach and took some photos.
Deserted
Children in Natural Sandbox
What is a beach without coconut trees?
Much Better than Breakfast at Tiffany's
Much Better than Breakfast at Tiffany's II
Point of View
I drove about 8/10 of the entire journey. Made frequent stops for the Monk to take a leak as he had been drinking too much water and taking panadol to ease his fever. It is hard to picture a huge person like him has such a small bladder. I hope other parts of his body are proportionate to his height. *Grin*
Both of them slept at the back of the car like babies. I had to drive unusually slow in order not to disturb their sleep, at 80 km per hour on the trunk roads. (Actually there were a shitload of sohais on the road) Koon kept me entertained by yakking just about anything. He dozed off occassionally during the conversation. I didn’t know I was that boring.
We bought a pack of coolfever when we stopped for dinner at Kuantan. They looked like Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Danny DeVito in Twins when they stick the cold patch on their foreheads.
Reached Kuala Lumpur in about 10 hours. I think I can apply a license to drive an express bus now.
I have NO sex appeal. I hope this answer everyone’s curiosity.
Supper Gang Mafia
The return trip was uneventful as the Monk and Kit had succumbed to fever and migraine. Don’t know what causes it. Too much salt water? Too much sun? Too much sand? Too much snorkeling? Too much ogling at semi nude women?
On the last morning, everyone was drained. After breakfast, the boys went back to the room to sleep. I took a stroll on the quiet beach and took some photos.
Deserted
Children in Natural Sandbox
What is a beach without coconut trees?
Much Better than Breakfast at Tiffany's
Much Better than Breakfast at Tiffany's II
Point of View
I drove about 8/10 of the entire journey. Made frequent stops for the Monk to take a leak as he had been drinking too much water and taking panadol to ease his fever. It is hard to picture a huge person like him has such a small bladder. I hope other parts of his body are proportionate to his height. *Grin*
Both of them slept at the back of the car like babies. I had to drive unusually slow in order not to disturb their sleep, at 80 km per hour on the trunk roads. (Actually there were a shitload of sohais on the road) Koon kept me entertained by yakking just about anything. He dozed off occassionally during the conversation. I didn’t know I was that boring.
We bought a pack of coolfever when we stopped for dinner at Kuantan. They looked like Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Danny DeVito in Twins when they stick the cold patch on their foreheads.
Reached Kuala Lumpur in about 10 hours. I think I can apply a license to drive an express bus now.
10 Advantages traveling with the members of the Supper GangInference from this trip
You don’t have to tidy your room. Koon will do it for you.
You don’t have to worry about where to sleep. Koon and Kit will arrange the beds nicely for you.
You don’t have to carry your bags. Koon will do it for you.
You don’t have to book a room. Koon will walk in for you.
You don’t have to pay for breakfast. Gina will buy you breakfast by losing poker games.
You don’t have to worry about disturbance from the unknown. Kit has amulets to protect you.
You don’t have to worry about snacks. The Monk has a Santa bag of snacks for you.
You don’t have to drive. Gina has express bus license now.
You won’t feel bored. Koon and Kit will entertain you just by being themselves – squabbling old couple.
You don’t have to worry about getting lost. You just need to go straight and follow the signboards.
Gee.. didn't know the Monk played such a petty role in this trip, yet he is the ultimate reason that I am here..
I have NO sex appeal. I hope this answer everyone’s curiosity.
Supper Gang Mafia
Related Stories: Post Mortem III, Post Mortem II, Post Mortem I, Ignorance is Bliss, Office Abuse of E-mails, Ain't Love Grand?, Perhentian Trip: Preparation, Supper Gang: Revealed, Dream Interpreter, I dreamt of Absolut Vodka ,Supper Talk
Friday, August 13, 2004
PERHENTIAN TRIP: POST MORTEM III – ATTACK OF THE JELLY FISH
Sunday, Lily’s Chalet No. 6, Perhentian Kechil
5.35 a.m.
*Woke up. Shocked*
For three seconds, I didn’t have a clue of where I was. I saw the Monk lying next to my mattress. Only did I realized that I was in Perhentian.
The Monk: What are you doing?
*Blur. Didn’t bother to answer. Thinking he was talking in his sleep*
The Monk: WHAT are you doing?
Self: Uh Huh….Nothing…..
*Went back to sleep*
The Monk: Chih Sin. (Crazy in Cantonese)
He must be shocked seeing me shocked.
7.05 a.m.
The Monk: Wake up! Wake up! Let’s go jogging.
Self: Chih Sin!! Shuddup! Kit is still sleeping.
He has insomia.
7.30 a.m.
Woke up and went out to take some pics with the Monk. Not together. He was my photography subject, with clothes on.
The Monk taking a stroll in the morning
Friendly bird
What's the story, morning glory?
8.00 a.m.
We packed our bags hastily as we couldn’t wait to get out from there. The Monk’s left foot was bitten by bed bugs. (Clean bed?) Eddie ferried us to the new place.
We left our bags at the reception to wait for the guests to check out and had breakfast at Watercolours. Koon said they used to have Malaysian breakfast – nasi lemak, RM3.50 fried rice, etc. Unfortunately, everything now is over commercialized. They emphasize more on Europeans tourists, offering continental breakfast instead.
Disgruntled, we attacked our breakfast sets with gusto- Two Sunny side up eggs, sausages, hash brown, bread, jam, butter and baked beans.
Self: Kit, can you please wipe your mouth and nose?
* A scene from Ally McBeal disgusted with her date’s lack of proper table manners suddenly flashed across my mind*
Kit: Not till I finish my breakfast.
Self: How can you eat with slime on your nose? (from the half cooked eggs)
The Monk seeing me being particular in table manners, decided not to mess up his eggs. He sipped his eggs by using straws. Einstein, eh? It was even more disgusting.
In between the breakfast, we tried to call Eddie for boat service to Pulau Rawa but to no avail. Pulau Rawa is located about 25 minutes from Perhentian Islands. There are also two more islands within the vicinity. Pulau Dada Besar and Kecil. We couldn’t get hold of him. Didn’t want to join other snorkeling group as there were so many people in one boat, and we had to follow their schedule. It was somewhat a packaged trip. The gang preferred impromptu. We decided to hire our own boat to get exclusive treatment, never mind the price.
After the hefty breakfast, Koon and Kit decided to go hunting. (Meaning – to ogle at girls – not Europeans, but Asians. They are racist voyeurs). The Monk and I decided to see if we could check in.
The friendly receptionist was looking all over for us and led us to our room. We were shocked to find that we had to climb flights of stairs, and the place was a maze! (I quote Clive^ – stories later), carrying everyone's bags. The visit to the gym finally paid off.
Our Posh Chalet
We were delighted with what we see. Expensive curtains, carvings, marble toilet, water heater, pictures, etc. They even have thin curtains separating the sleep area from the sitting area. It was kinda posh. It felt more like a holiday now.
A knock was heard on the door after a brief moment of basking in our sheer good luck in securing this place last minute.
The Monk went to get it.
The Monk: EHH? Macam mana you tahu kita ada kat sini? (Malay: How did you know we are here?)
It was Eddie at the door. Clive^ (I think that is his name), a chap from Liverpool was with him.
Clive: It’s a maze out here! *Huff Puff*
After negotiation, we managed to get an exclusive trip to the islands (Rawa and Dadas) for RM50 per person. We had to go back to Perhentian Kechil to get the life jackets (Koon & Kit), fins (self)and mask (self)from Lazy Buoy Office. Koon and Kit regretted leaving this place the moment they spotted two topless ladies on Long Beach stretch. (Lily’s Chalet). The Monk and I couldn't see clearly as we did not have our prescription glasses on.
The Monk: What topless women? Where?
Self: You are a monk, remember! See no evil!
There were lots to see at Pulau Rawa. Corals of all kinds at shallow waters. The moment you glide into the sea, you would actually scratch yourself if you were not careful. I almost crashed into some weird looking fish on top of the corals. Yucks. Luckily, I am not a D-Cupper.
This snorkeling trip was truly an exclusive one. When I was in Redang Island two years ago, I was with 22 friends. Now, only 3 friends. It freaked me out when I failed to locate human legs paddling in the waters nearby. It was so exclusive that you actually felt as if you have booked the entire sea to yourself. It was only between you, the sea and … something Great.
Was it a big shark lurking at a corner? Or was it King Neptune? Was it God? I don’t believe I would say this. I felt the presence of something potent during the entire snorkeling session which spook me shitless. I tried to be as close to Koon and Kit as possible. The life jackets made them slower and clumsier. Couldn’t keep up with the Monk as he was too hyperactive.
The moment I saw something looking like a jellyfish, I freaked out. I don't mind Portuguese Egg Tarts floating in the sea, but not Portuguese Man O'War! The Monk was stung on his leg the moment he stepped out from the boat. It was just a small detached tentacle from some dead jelly fish, yet it hurt. I quickly swam back to the boat to avoid unnecessary pain.
I struck a conversation with Clive. (No, people, I am not menggataling) He would be here for ten weeks. He has been here for the past five weeks. I couldn’t really hear what he was trying to tell me as his Liverpool accent proved far too difficult for me to comprehend.
The Naked Monk 1/3 and Clive
We saw Kit frolicking in the sand on the shore. He ended up covered with sand from the head to his back.
Clive: What is he DUE-ing?
Self: Don’t ask me! He does the weirdest things.
*Looked embarrassed*
Then Kit climbed onto the rocky terrains on the shore skillfully.
Clive: He looked like a l'il MONG-key.
*Laugh*
When Koon and the L'il MONG-key returned to the boat, the Monk was nowhere in sight.
Eaten by sharks? *Gasp*
White Rocks on Blue Green Sea
Then we saw his blue snorkeling mask in between some rocks on the far left of the island. The sea was getting rough. And he was sticking his head (the upper one) in between the rocks. Worried that he wasn't wearing a life jacket, we went to get him... fast.
Eddie: I wouldn’t do that if I were him! It’s dangerous.
Clive: He’s the CUEErious one, … EAY?
Self: Yeap. Curiosity kills the cat.
Clive laughed.
We hopped to another side of the island. Nothing much was there. The sky was not sunny. So there was low visibility at this point of time. We were back on boat in shorter time span.
Clive: It is kinDUH nice to sleep on the BOUAt. It RUCKs like a CRAEdle.
We passed by Pulau Dada Besar and Kecil. Thinking that we would be stopping for another snorkeling session, we were disappointed that we didn’t. It was too deep. The sight was beautiful though. Unfortunately, the cloudy sky did not permit us to stay any longer. We were heading to the spring water area again. Special request to get water for my hair wash. Most tap water in Perhentian is salty.
Spring water spot
Felt kinda ripped off towards the end of this trip. Lasted only about 2 ½ hours, yet cost us RM50 per head. Well, afterall it was a 50 minutes to-and-fro journey. Paying for petrol instead of more snorkeling spots. To prevent us from complaining, Eddie gave the skipper job to the Monk. You should see the silly smirk on the Monk’s face. He was as happy as a lark. It was easy to please this simple man. Told you. Eddie is an intelligent man.
When we were back in our chalet, we found a white frog on top of the door. I didn’t know frogs can climb? Thinking that this is the lucky frog that Feng Shui masters would kill for, Koon decided to buy 4D. Room number 881. There were 4 of us in the room. So he planned to buy 4881 and 8814, at RM5 per number. He requested Kit to call LB. A modest initial bet of RM10/- suddenly became a RM124/- bet. They hope to get back the money we paid Eddie for today’s trip. Even the Monk chipped in. So did I.
Not-so-lucky frog
Towards the evening, all of us were in a relax mood. We already planned to have dinner at Mama’s place even before we came to this part of the island. Sea food fest. RM10 per fish, irregardless size. The owner of this place is cool. He could remember every person’s face. He speaks French too. "Bon Appetit.. Merci.."
We ordered two fishes, a plate of medium sized shrimps, vegetables and some giant squids, four drinks, and half a dozen bottles of mineral water (1.5 litres). The Monk drinks like a camel. I didn’t know how did the bill derived at RM187/- when the fishes only cost RM10 each. Probably the giant squids and the shrimps. Then they started to tell sick jokes about sailors using squids as a relief when they were horny and lonely at the sea.
Dinner wasn’t that fantastic, but it was definitely the best food that we had for the past 2 days after leaving Kuala Lumpur. The Monk and Kit were feeling feverish towards the end of the dinner.
Creepy Hike
The walk back to our room was kinda creepy. It was dimly lighted, and we had to pass by the forest. You wouldn't want to hike up and down again in the middle of the night. Thank goodness for attached bathrooms.
When you are in an island in the night, staying on the hilltop with NO neighbours and not having any sex, the next best thing to do, is to play poker or tell ghost stories. We chose the former as I am a chicken shit when it comes to ghost stories. I had the wildest imagination. If I watch a spooky movie or listen to ghost stories, I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a few nights, replaying whatever that was seen or told to a magnitude of 10x scarier.. worrying that the demons will sip through the window, walk through the door or appear from the mirror in the bathroom to grab me.
5.35 a.m.
*Woke up. Shocked*
For three seconds, I didn’t have a clue of where I was. I saw the Monk lying next to my mattress. Only did I realized that I was in Perhentian.
The Monk: What are you doing?
*Blur. Didn’t bother to answer. Thinking he was talking in his sleep*
The Monk: WHAT are you doing?
Self: Uh Huh….Nothing…..
*Went back to sleep*
The Monk: Chih Sin. (Crazy in Cantonese)
He must be shocked seeing me shocked.
7.05 a.m.
The Monk: Wake up! Wake up! Let’s go jogging.
Self: Chih Sin!! Shuddup! Kit is still sleeping.
He has insomia.
7.30 a.m.
Woke up and went out to take some pics with the Monk. Not together. He was my photography subject, with clothes on.
The Monk taking a stroll in the morning
Friendly bird
What's the story, morning glory?
8.00 a.m.
We packed our bags hastily as we couldn’t wait to get out from there. The Monk’s left foot was bitten by bed bugs. (Clean bed?) Eddie ferried us to the new place.
We left our bags at the reception to wait for the guests to check out and had breakfast at Watercolours. Koon said they used to have Malaysian breakfast – nasi lemak, RM3.50 fried rice, etc. Unfortunately, everything now is over commercialized. They emphasize more on Europeans tourists, offering continental breakfast instead.
Disgruntled, we attacked our breakfast sets with gusto- Two Sunny side up eggs, sausages, hash brown, bread, jam, butter and baked beans.
Self: Kit, can you please wipe your mouth and nose?
* A scene from Ally McBeal disgusted with her date’s lack of proper table manners suddenly flashed across my mind*
Kit: Not till I finish my breakfast.
Self: How can you eat with slime on your nose? (from the half cooked eggs)
The Monk seeing me being particular in table manners, decided not to mess up his eggs. He sipped his eggs by using straws. Einstein, eh? It was even more disgusting.
In between the breakfast, we tried to call Eddie for boat service to Pulau Rawa but to no avail. Pulau Rawa is located about 25 minutes from Perhentian Islands. There are also two more islands within the vicinity. Pulau Dada Besar and Kecil. We couldn’t get hold of him. Didn’t want to join other snorkeling group as there were so many people in one boat, and we had to follow their schedule. It was somewhat a packaged trip. The gang preferred impromptu. We decided to hire our own boat to get exclusive treatment, never mind the price.
After the hefty breakfast, Koon and Kit decided to go hunting. (Meaning – to ogle at girls – not Europeans, but Asians. They are racist voyeurs). The Monk and I decided to see if we could check in.
The friendly receptionist was looking all over for us and led us to our room. We were shocked to find that we had to climb flights of stairs, and the place was a maze! (I quote Clive^ – stories later), carrying everyone's bags. The visit to the gym finally paid off.
Our Posh Chalet
We were delighted with what we see. Expensive curtains, carvings, marble toilet, water heater, pictures, etc. They even have thin curtains separating the sleep area from the sitting area. It was kinda posh. It felt more like a holiday now.
A knock was heard on the door after a brief moment of basking in our sheer good luck in securing this place last minute.
The Monk went to get it.
The Monk: EHH? Macam mana you tahu kita ada kat sini? (Malay: How did you know we are here?)
It was Eddie at the door. Clive^ (I think that is his name), a chap from Liverpool was with him.
Clive: It’s a maze out here! *Huff Puff*
After negotiation, we managed to get an exclusive trip to the islands (Rawa and Dadas) for RM50 per person. We had to go back to Perhentian Kechil to get the life jackets (Koon & Kit), fins (self)and mask (self)from Lazy Buoy Office. Koon and Kit regretted leaving this place the moment they spotted two topless ladies on Long Beach stretch. (Lily’s Chalet). The Monk and I couldn't see clearly as we did not have our prescription glasses on.
The Monk: What topless women? Where?
Self: You are a monk, remember! See no evil!
There were lots to see at Pulau Rawa. Corals of all kinds at shallow waters. The moment you glide into the sea, you would actually scratch yourself if you were not careful. I almost crashed into some weird looking fish on top of the corals. Yucks. Luckily, I am not a D-Cupper.
This snorkeling trip was truly an exclusive one. When I was in Redang Island two years ago, I was with 22 friends. Now, only 3 friends. It freaked me out when I failed to locate human legs paddling in the waters nearby. It was so exclusive that you actually felt as if you have booked the entire sea to yourself. It was only between you, the sea and … something Great.
Was it a big shark lurking at a corner? Or was it King Neptune? Was it God? I don’t believe I would say this. I felt the presence of something potent during the entire snorkeling session which spook me shitless. I tried to be as close to Koon and Kit as possible. The life jackets made them slower and clumsier. Couldn’t keep up with the Monk as he was too hyperactive.
The moment I saw something looking like a jellyfish, I freaked out. I don't mind Portuguese Egg Tarts floating in the sea, but not Portuguese Man O'War! The Monk was stung on his leg the moment he stepped out from the boat. It was just a small detached tentacle from some dead jelly fish, yet it hurt. I quickly swam back to the boat to avoid unnecessary pain.
I struck a conversation with Clive. (No, people, I am not menggataling) He would be here for ten weeks. He has been here for the past five weeks. I couldn’t really hear what he was trying to tell me as his Liverpool accent proved far too difficult for me to comprehend.
The Naked Monk 1/3 and Clive
We saw Kit frolicking in the sand on the shore. He ended up covered with sand from the head to his back.
Clive: What is he DUE-ing?
Self: Don’t ask me! He does the weirdest things.
*Looked embarrassed*
Then Kit climbed onto the rocky terrains on the shore skillfully.
Clive: He looked like a l'il MONG-key.
*Laugh*
When Koon and the L'il MONG-key returned to the boat, the Monk was nowhere in sight.
Eaten by sharks? *Gasp*
White Rocks on Blue Green Sea
Then we saw his blue snorkeling mask in between some rocks on the far left of the island. The sea was getting rough. And he was sticking his head (the upper one) in between the rocks. Worried that he wasn't wearing a life jacket, we went to get him... fast.
Eddie: I wouldn’t do that if I were him! It’s dangerous.
Clive: He’s the CUEErious one, … EAY?
Self: Yeap. Curiosity kills the cat.
Clive laughed.
We hopped to another side of the island. Nothing much was there. The sky was not sunny. So there was low visibility at this point of time. We were back on boat in shorter time span.
Clive: It is kinDUH nice to sleep on the BOUAt. It RUCKs like a CRAEdle.
We passed by Pulau Dada Besar and Kecil. Thinking that we would be stopping for another snorkeling session, we were disappointed that we didn’t. It was too deep. The sight was beautiful though. Unfortunately, the cloudy sky did not permit us to stay any longer. We were heading to the spring water area again. Special request to get water for my hair wash. Most tap water in Perhentian is salty.
Spring water spot
Felt kinda ripped off towards the end of this trip. Lasted only about 2 ½ hours, yet cost us RM50 per head. Well, afterall it was a 50 minutes to-and-fro journey. Paying for petrol instead of more snorkeling spots. To prevent us from complaining, Eddie gave the skipper job to the Monk. You should see the silly smirk on the Monk’s face. He was as happy as a lark. It was easy to please this simple man. Told you. Eddie is an intelligent man.
When we were back in our chalet, we found a white frog on top of the door. I didn’t know frogs can climb? Thinking that this is the lucky frog that Feng Shui masters would kill for, Koon decided to buy 4D. Room number 881. There were 4 of us in the room. So he planned to buy 4881 and 8814, at RM5 per number. He requested Kit to call LB. A modest initial bet of RM10/- suddenly became a RM124/- bet. They hope to get back the money we paid Eddie for today’s trip. Even the Monk chipped in. So did I.
Not-so-lucky frog
Towards the evening, all of us were in a relax mood. We already planned to have dinner at Mama’s place even before we came to this part of the island. Sea food fest. RM10 per fish, irregardless size. The owner of this place is cool. He could remember every person’s face. He speaks French too. "Bon Appetit.. Merci.."
We ordered two fishes, a plate of medium sized shrimps, vegetables and some giant squids, four drinks, and half a dozen bottles of mineral water (1.5 litres). The Monk drinks like a camel. I didn’t know how did the bill derived at RM187/- when the fishes only cost RM10 each. Probably the giant squids and the shrimps. Then they started to tell sick jokes about sailors using squids as a relief when they were horny and lonely at the sea.
Dinner wasn’t that fantastic, but it was definitely the best food that we had for the past 2 days after leaving Kuala Lumpur. The Monk and Kit were feeling feverish towards the end of the dinner.
Creepy Hike
The walk back to our room was kinda creepy. It was dimly lighted, and we had to pass by the forest. You wouldn't want to hike up and down again in the middle of the night. Thank goodness for attached bathrooms.
When you are in an island in the night, staying on the hilltop with NO neighbours and not having any sex, the next best thing to do, is to play poker or tell ghost stories. We chose the former as I am a chicken shit when it comes to ghost stories. I had the wildest imagination. If I watch a spooky movie or listen to ghost stories, I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a few nights, replaying whatever that was seen or told to a magnitude of 10x scarier.. worrying that the demons will sip through the window, walk through the door or appear from the mirror in the bathroom to grab me.
Related Stories: Post Mortem - Conclusion, Post Mortem II, Post Mortem I, Ignorance is Bliss, Office Abuse of E-mails, Ain't Love Grand?, Perhentian Trip: Preparation, Supper Gang: Revealed, Dream Interpreter, I dreamt of Absolut Vodka ,Supper Talk
Thursday, August 12, 2004
PERHENTIAN TRIP: POST MORTEM II - THE FIRST NIGHT
7.35 a.m.
Reached office too early this morning. Was supposed to go to the gym but I couldn’t locate my membership card. I thought I have left it in the drawer together with my heaps of lipsticks that I never bother to use. I spent about half an hour early this morning looking for it. Running up and down the staircase frantically searching at the 3 plastic drawers where I keep all my stuffs. So, I decided, since I will be late and also, I have climbed staircase so many times, I might as well don’t go to the gym. Also thanks to the closure of the Kepong-MRR2 highway that screw up everybody's traveling schedule.
Ok ok.. back to my Perhentian story.
Saturday, 7 August 2004. Perhentian Kechil
Cute Mat Salleh checking out the Monk's cute butt
On the boat….
Forgot to mention. I could swear that this Mat Salleh kept staring at the Monk’s butt when we stopped for awhile for a smaller boat to pick some passengers from our boat to the shore. He was very aroused by the sight of the old scars on the Monk’s left tendon as a result of a little accident in the toilet when he was 16. Don't ask.
10.15 a.m.
We were relieved when we managed to locate a place to stay. Agonizing moments of thinking having to sleep on the shore, were soon over. Koon was still contemplating getting another place coz he didn’t like the shabby hut. When he walked back to tell us that there is a room available at Lily’s, he still had the cheek to ask us whether we would want to scout around longer for more choices. The Monk and I dropped our jaw in disbelief. We simultaneously screamed at him for being nonchalantly calm, picked up our bags and practically ran towards the chalet. Come to think of it, Koon sure is a good leader in time of crisis.
10.30 a.m.
Had brunch in the restaurant, eating the food we brought. Not much appetite after the long journey and also the frantic search for room. The boys were hungry lots. Guess God made men much simpler. Their brains consist of only two things:food and sex.
There were only a handful of Asians in this beach. Most of them are Mat and Minah Sallehs. We felt as if we were vacationing in their countries instead.
A Room with a View
11.15 a.m.
Checked into Lily’s Chalet No. 6. The place was a total rundown. The toilet was yucky. To make matter worse, the tap water was salt water. At least the bed looked clean – so it seemed.
True to what the Monk had said about Koon, he took the broom and started sweeping the sand out of the room, the verandah and the staircase. He even scolded us for not washing our feet properly. Koon, the strict disciplinarian of cleanliness.
Noon
The boys were overly enthusiastic to go snorkelling. They went on separate ways to get a boat service. The owner of Lily’s told us most boats were out since morning and we had to wait. We finally managed to get a boat service from Eddie, owner of Lazy Buoy. RM40 per person. Seven snorkelling spots. Sounded good. So, off we went.
Lazy Buoy Office
I was already half dead towards the end of the fourth spot. The sea was rough. We saw turtles, sea urchins, multi colored fish, sharks, etc. Hmmph.. did we see starfish? Some of us got bitten by planktons when we jumped into the sea of turtles (only two ekor lah). The bites gave you stinging sensation which made you think that you have cut yourself and emerge the wound in salt water. Uncomfortable, we were there for less than 10 minutes.
The highlight of the event was the visit to the spring water spot, near the fishing village. It’s a small spot of spring water. The water was cold as ice. Had a splashing time there. When I say, splashing time, I really mean splashing time. The Monk splashed all of us with the ice cold water. It’s refreshing after a long soak in sea water.
Eddie - the Boat Man
Had a chat with Eddie when the boys were in the 5th to the 7th spot as I was running low on energy (lack of sleep and food). I was amazed by his ability to speak French and English, computer literacy, and also he reads widely. Intelligent guy. He briefed me a bit on the things happening around the Perhentian Islands, about the discovery of some new species by a group of American scientists who are carrying out research in the islands' forests for the past four months. A joint venture with PERHILITAN. This is exciting.
Eddie took us to Perhentian Besar to scout for a new place to stay. We finally got a place at Coral View Island Resort – as per our initial plan. Hillview. We were too happy that we didn’t even bother to check out the rooms. Koon and Kit couldn't wait to come here as they were bored shitless of too much white flesh. They wanted to ogle at yellow or dark skin instead. Didn't know that voyeurs could be racist?
5.30 p.m.
All of us were pooped towards the end of the day. Decided to call it a day after the seventh spot. Took turns to take bath. Coz of the salt water, my hair was so rough that the spikes stood out like wires. Couldn’t imagine sleeping with spikes on, I bought some filtered spring water from Eddie to wash my hair and take my bath. Imagine paying for fresh water to take bath.
My spendthrifts disgusted Koon. I let him to touch my hair (the one on the head, of coz) before and after the fresh water wash to feel the difference. He relented.
The Monk, being the first to take bath, already snoring away on the bed. Not knowing what to do, other than ogling at the Mat Sallehs playing volley ball, reading a book by Marquez - Love in the Time of Cholera, and sun bathing, I decided to take a nap too. Koon followed suit while Kit sat outside ogling at bikini clad ladies.
The Monk farted in the middle of his sleep. The silent and stinky type. It was as if the entire room had been gassed. I was too tired to even cover my nostrils. I had no choice but to doze off, inhaling the involuntary expulsion from his body.
8.00 p.m.
The Monk and I overslept. (Both of us drove most of the way). Koon and Kit were no longer in the room. I woke the Monk up for dinner. Just in case we had nothing to eat later should we didn’t go hunting for dinner now.
8.30 p.m.
The worst dinner ever. Kit was complaining about too much salt in his fried rice. The dinner was expensive and bland (except salty). To suit the taste of the Europeans, I guess. Everywhere you look, Americans, French, Italians, Dutch, etc. We were the only Asians having dinner in the restaurant.
We saw a group of six European girls, stranded in the island for being last minute in walking in to book rooms. We were baffled that Koon was not the King of Walk-In afterall. These girls were even more adventurous.
10.05 p.m.
After the salty dinner and a short stroll along the sandy white beach, we decided to play poker. Lucky thing, it’s not a strip poker, else I would be stripped bare to my bones. I lost after 2 hours of game and had to buy them breakfast the next day.
Before hitting the sack….
Self: Hey! How come there is a monk in the room?
The three of them looked alarmed. Three pairs of eyeballs searched frantically. Where? Where? Where?
I pointed at the pic of a monk above the fan moderator.
They heaved a sigh of relief. It belonged to Kit. A charm to keep us safe.
P/S Lily's Chalet was formerly Long Beach Inn. Change of management.. no wonder.
Reached office too early this morning. Was supposed to go to the gym but I couldn’t locate my membership card. I thought I have left it in the drawer together with my heaps of lipsticks that I never bother to use. I spent about half an hour early this morning looking for it. Running up and down the staircase frantically searching at the 3 plastic drawers where I keep all my stuffs. So, I decided, since I will be late and also, I have climbed staircase so many times, I might as well don’t go to the gym. Also thanks to the closure of the Kepong-MRR2 highway that screw up everybody's traveling schedule.
Ok ok.. back to my Perhentian story.
Saturday, 7 August 2004. Perhentian Kechil
Cute Mat Salleh checking out the Monk's cute butt
On the boat….
Forgot to mention. I could swear that this Mat Salleh kept staring at the Monk’s butt when we stopped for awhile for a smaller boat to pick some passengers from our boat to the shore. He was very aroused by the sight of the old scars on the Monk’s left tendon as a result of a little accident in the toilet when he was 16. Don't ask.
10.15 a.m.
We were relieved when we managed to locate a place to stay. Agonizing moments of thinking having to sleep on the shore, were soon over. Koon was still contemplating getting another place coz he didn’t like the shabby hut. When he walked back to tell us that there is a room available at Lily’s, he still had the cheek to ask us whether we would want to scout around longer for more choices. The Monk and I dropped our jaw in disbelief. We simultaneously screamed at him for being nonchalantly calm, picked up our bags and practically ran towards the chalet. Come to think of it, Koon sure is a good leader in time of crisis.
10.30 a.m.
Had brunch in the restaurant, eating the food we brought. Not much appetite after the long journey and also the frantic search for room. The boys were hungry lots. Guess God made men much simpler. Their brains consist of only two things:food and sex.
There were only a handful of Asians in this beach. Most of them are Mat and Minah Sallehs. We felt as if we were vacationing in their countries instead.
A Room with a View
11.15 a.m.
Checked into Lily’s Chalet No. 6. The place was a total rundown. The toilet was yucky. To make matter worse, the tap water was salt water. At least the bed looked clean – so it seemed.
True to what the Monk had said about Koon, he took the broom and started sweeping the sand out of the room, the verandah and the staircase. He even scolded us for not washing our feet properly. Koon, the strict disciplinarian of cleanliness.
Noon
The boys were overly enthusiastic to go snorkelling. They went on separate ways to get a boat service. The owner of Lily’s told us most boats were out since morning and we had to wait. We finally managed to get a boat service from Eddie, owner of Lazy Buoy. RM40 per person. Seven snorkelling spots. Sounded good. So, off we went.
Lazy Buoy Office
I was already half dead towards the end of the fourth spot. The sea was rough. We saw turtles, sea urchins, multi colored fish, sharks, etc. Hmmph.. did we see starfish? Some of us got bitten by planktons when we jumped into the sea of turtles (only two ekor lah). The bites gave you stinging sensation which made you think that you have cut yourself and emerge the wound in salt water. Uncomfortable, we were there for less than 10 minutes.
The highlight of the event was the visit to the spring water spot, near the fishing village. It’s a small spot of spring water. The water was cold as ice. Had a splashing time there. When I say, splashing time, I really mean splashing time. The Monk splashed all of us with the ice cold water. It’s refreshing after a long soak in sea water.
Eddie - the Boat Man
Had a chat with Eddie when the boys were in the 5th to the 7th spot as I was running low on energy (lack of sleep and food). I was amazed by his ability to speak French and English, computer literacy, and also he reads widely. Intelligent guy. He briefed me a bit on the things happening around the Perhentian Islands, about the discovery of some new species by a group of American scientists who are carrying out research in the islands' forests for the past four months. A joint venture with PERHILITAN. This is exciting.
Eddie took us to Perhentian Besar to scout for a new place to stay. We finally got a place at Coral View Island Resort – as per our initial plan. Hillview. We were too happy that we didn’t even bother to check out the rooms. Koon and Kit couldn't wait to come here as they were bored shitless of too much white flesh. They wanted to ogle at yellow or dark skin instead. Didn't know that voyeurs could be racist?
5.30 p.m.
All of us were pooped towards the end of the day. Decided to call it a day after the seventh spot. Took turns to take bath. Coz of the salt water, my hair was so rough that the spikes stood out like wires. Couldn’t imagine sleeping with spikes on, I bought some filtered spring water from Eddie to wash my hair and take my bath. Imagine paying for fresh water to take bath.
My spendthrifts disgusted Koon. I let him to touch my hair (the one on the head, of coz) before and after the fresh water wash to feel the difference. He relented.
The Monk, being the first to take bath, already snoring away on the bed. Not knowing what to do, other than ogling at the Mat Sallehs playing volley ball, reading a book by Marquez - Love in the Time of Cholera, and sun bathing, I decided to take a nap too. Koon followed suit while Kit sat outside ogling at bikini clad ladies.
The Monk farted in the middle of his sleep. The silent and stinky type. It was as if the entire room had been gassed. I was too tired to even cover my nostrils. I had no choice but to doze off, inhaling the involuntary expulsion from his body.
8.00 p.m.
The Monk and I overslept. (Both of us drove most of the way). Koon and Kit were no longer in the room. I woke the Monk up for dinner. Just in case we had nothing to eat later should we didn’t go hunting for dinner now.
8.30 p.m.
The worst dinner ever. Kit was complaining about too much salt in his fried rice. The dinner was expensive and bland (except salty). To suit the taste of the Europeans, I guess. Everywhere you look, Americans, French, Italians, Dutch, etc. We were the only Asians having dinner in the restaurant.
We saw a group of six European girls, stranded in the island for being last minute in walking in to book rooms. We were baffled that Koon was not the King of Walk-In afterall. These girls were even more adventurous.
10.05 p.m.
After the salty dinner and a short stroll along the sandy white beach, we decided to play poker. Lucky thing, it’s not a strip poker, else I would be stripped bare to my bones. I lost after 2 hours of game and had to buy them breakfast the next day.
Before hitting the sack….
Self: Hey! How come there is a monk in the room?
The three of them looked alarmed. Three pairs of eyeballs searched frantically. Where? Where? Where?
I pointed at the pic of a monk above the fan moderator.
They heaved a sigh of relief. It belonged to Kit. A charm to keep us safe.
P/S Lily's Chalet was formerly Long Beach Inn. Change of management.. no wonder.
Related Stories: Post Mortem - Conclusion, Post Mortem III Post Mortem I, Ignorance is Bliss, Office Abuse of E-mails, Ain't Love Grand?, Perhentian Trip: Preparation, Supper Gang: Revealed, Dream Interpreter, I dreamt of Absolut Vodka ,Supper Talk
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
PERHENTIAN TRIP: POST MORTEM I - THE GREAT EXPECTATION
Yeah, I know some friends are excited for some juicy details about my trip with three men. Nope – it was not five as two of them, LB and Ah Ming were missing in action on that night itself, perhaps the business trip really turned into a whoring trip.
We drove there alright. In my kenari. Unbelievably this small car can travel 1,200 km (to and fro from KL to Kuala Besut), carrying 4 huge people (okay – Kit is not huge, the rest of us are) without much hitch. Also, it was able to reach a speed of 140 km per hour! Amazing. Don’t be too sure as yet.. Probably will burn a hole in my pocket end of this week when I take it for service. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
To spare you from boredom reading miniscule details of the trip in a narrative form, I will keep it short (err.. not so short), sarcastic and sweet.
Friday, 6 August 2004, On the highway
11.59 p.m.
The Monk: God, this sore throat is killing me.
Self: You didn’t take any medicine?
The Monk: I did. No effect also.
Self: Do you want to try using my saliva? I am sure it will be of a great help. *pushing my luck*
The Monk: No, thanks. I would rather die of serious throat infection.
Saturday, 7 August 2004 Still on the highway
2.05 a.m.
Koon: Are you okay, Gina? If you need to take a break, tell us.
*Woke up from sleeping with my eyes open*
Self: Can you drive if I don’t? *sarcasm*
Koon knows how to but he hardly drives. The two other boys were snoring away.
2.20 a.m. Reached Kuantan. Supper at some place in the middle of the town where all the waiters wear nice shirts as if they are going to office to work.
The Monk: This is madness. Why are you doing it at 140 km per hour?? We are now too early.
Self: It’s a highway. And it’s empty. DUH.
On the trunk road from Kuantan to Paka
4.15 a.m.
The Monk: You know Buddism.. blah blah blah.. blah. (he talked for about an hour on this topic)
Self: Can we stop at a petrol station please? I gotta pee.
5.30 a.m.
Passing by gas processing plants in Kerteh where fire and lights could be seen decorating the dark blue sky.
Gas Processing Plant
Gas Processing Plant II
The four of us in the car went .. Auww.. Woah.. Auwww.. it was a beautiful sight to behold.
Self: Can you please stop the car? We can take pictures here.
The Monk: No.. I am not stopping in the middle of the road for you to take pics. It’s dangerous here.
Self: You said we were too early?? We have so much time to spare. Stop the car!
The Monk: No. Not when I am driving.
Koon: Stop the car lah. Can take nice pictures here mah.
The Monk: If you like it so much, I will buy you postcards.
I ended up sulking all the way throughout Kerteh.
In the middle of nowhere, at some BP Petrol station, taking a leak.
6. 11 a.m.
Self: Where the hell are we?
Monk: Dunno. Kit, it's your turn to drive!
The Monk and I hopped into the backseat and slept.
In between dreams and subconscious ness, I heard them talking:
Kit: Are you sure we didn’t miss the turning?
Koon: I thought LB said that we must go straight till we see the bridge?
Kit: But the signboard says, Jetty – Perhentian.
Koon: Never mind. Just go straight and follow the road sign.
Kit: Hey, you sure or not?
Koon: Follow the road sign lah.
At this point, both of them were squabbling like old couples arguing over misplaced dentures.
I sms-ed Ann and Wai Ye and told them, we were lost.
Ann: What? You entrusted your car to those two morons? Why are you going to Kelantan? Thought Perhentian is in Terengganu?
*Alarmed*
Wai Ye: Good luck!
6.55 a.m. In the middle of nowhere.
Self: Why are we in the middle of a padi field?
Monk: Where is the sea? I can’t see any sea?
Koon: Just go straight and follow the road sign.
Kit: He kept on repeating this like a parrot!
7.15 a.m.
Finally… Kuala Besut.
Four: Hurray!
Checking out places to stay and to our dismay, most of the hotels, resorts, chalets were fully booked.
Contemplating on whether to hop into the speed boat and hop from one resort after another.
“You can try your luck here.” The boat operator offering advice. Pointing at the long stretch of beach on Perhentian Kechil. “Usually they don’t take reservations. They prefer to take in walk-in people as the Mat Sallehs always do that. Walk in”
Koon is not the only moron afterall. The whites too.
8.45 a.m. In the ass banging/ balls cracking speed boat.
There were only 4 Chinese in the boat – us.
10.15 a.m.
After a frantic search all over long beach, we found a ramshackle chalet available in Lily’s chalet.
To be continued….
Some pics to entertain you people.
Sunset over Lily’s Chalet
Early Sunday Morning
Nostalgia
We drove there alright. In my kenari. Unbelievably this small car can travel 1,200 km (to and fro from KL to Kuala Besut), carrying 4 huge people (okay – Kit is not huge, the rest of us are) without much hitch. Also, it was able to reach a speed of 140 km per hour! Amazing. Don’t be too sure as yet.. Probably will burn a hole in my pocket end of this week when I take it for service. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
To spare you from boredom reading miniscule details of the trip in a narrative form, I will keep it short (err.. not so short), sarcastic and sweet.
Friday, 6 August 2004, On the highway
11.59 p.m.
The Monk: God, this sore throat is killing me.
Self: You didn’t take any medicine?
The Monk: I did. No effect also.
Self: Do you want to try using my saliva? I am sure it will be of a great help. *pushing my luck*
The Monk: No, thanks. I would rather die of serious throat infection.
Saturday, 7 August 2004 Still on the highway
2.05 a.m.
Koon: Are you okay, Gina? If you need to take a break, tell us.
*Woke up from sleeping with my eyes open*
Self: Can you drive if I don’t? *sarcasm*
Koon knows how to but he hardly drives. The two other boys were snoring away.
2.20 a.m. Reached Kuantan. Supper at some place in the middle of the town where all the waiters wear nice shirts as if they are going to office to work.
The Monk: This is madness. Why are you doing it at 140 km per hour?? We are now too early.
Self: It’s a highway. And it’s empty. DUH.
On the trunk road from Kuantan to Paka
4.15 a.m.
The Monk: You know Buddism.. blah blah blah.. blah. (he talked for about an hour on this topic)
Self: Can we stop at a petrol station please? I gotta pee.
5.30 a.m.
Passing by gas processing plants in Kerteh where fire and lights could be seen decorating the dark blue sky.
Gas Processing Plant
Gas Processing Plant II
The four of us in the car went .. Auww.. Woah.. Auwww.. it was a beautiful sight to behold.
Self: Can you please stop the car? We can take pictures here.
The Monk: No.. I am not stopping in the middle of the road for you to take pics. It’s dangerous here.
Self: You said we were too early?? We have so much time to spare. Stop the car!
The Monk: No. Not when I am driving.
Koon: Stop the car lah. Can take nice pictures here mah.
The Monk: If you like it so much, I will buy you postcards.
I ended up sulking all the way throughout Kerteh.
In the middle of nowhere, at some BP Petrol station, taking a leak.
6. 11 a.m.
Self: Where the hell are we?
Monk: Dunno. Kit, it's your turn to drive!
The Monk and I hopped into the backseat and slept.
In between dreams and subconscious ness, I heard them talking:
Kit: Are you sure we didn’t miss the turning?
Koon: I thought LB said that we must go straight till we see the bridge?
Kit: But the signboard says, Jetty – Perhentian.
Koon: Never mind. Just go straight and follow the road sign.
Kit: Hey, you sure or not?
Koon: Follow the road sign lah.
At this point, both of them were squabbling like old couples arguing over misplaced dentures.
I sms-ed Ann and Wai Ye and told them, we were lost.
Ann: What? You entrusted your car to those two morons? Why are you going to Kelantan? Thought Perhentian is in Terengganu?
*Alarmed*
Wai Ye: Good luck!
6.55 a.m. In the middle of nowhere.
Self: Why are we in the middle of a padi field?
Monk: Where is the sea? I can’t see any sea?
Koon: Just go straight and follow the road sign.
Kit: He kept on repeating this like a parrot!
7.15 a.m.
Finally… Kuala Besut.
Four: Hurray!
Checking out places to stay and to our dismay, most of the hotels, resorts, chalets were fully booked.
Contemplating on whether to hop into the speed boat and hop from one resort after another.
“You can try your luck here.” The boat operator offering advice. Pointing at the long stretch of beach on Perhentian Kechil. “Usually they don’t take reservations. They prefer to take in walk-in people as the Mat Sallehs always do that. Walk in”
Koon is not the only moron afterall. The whites too.
8.45 a.m. In the ass banging/ balls cracking speed boat.
There were only 4 Chinese in the boat – us.
10.15 a.m.
After a frantic search all over long beach, we found a ramshackle chalet available in Lily’s chalet.
To be continued….
Some pics to entertain you people.
Sunset over Lily’s Chalet
Early Sunday Morning
Nostalgia
Related Stories: Post Mortem - Conclusion, Post Mortem III, Post Mortem II, Ignorance is Bliss, Office Abuse of E-mails, Ain't Love Grand?, Perhentian Trip: Preparation, Supper Gang: Revealed, Dream Interpreter, I dreamt of Absolut Vodka ,Supper Talk
Friday, August 06, 2004
IGNORANCE IS BLISS
As I am writing this, the Monk and the Demented Duo are in Jaya Jusco, doing last minute shopping. They share the same middle name: Ignorance.
Even at this point of time, we still have yet to book a place to stay in Pulau Perhentian. The guy in Bubu Beach told us to come and hope that we are lucky enough that someone might cancel their reservation last minute. We wanted Long Beach Inn. It is cheap, clean and does not look like some sleazy motel. Beggars can’t be choosers now.
I must be turning demented now for mixing too long with these fools. Yesterday I rushed all the way from KLCC to our regular mamak stall (right opposite the police station as the gang is afraid of being mistakenly hacked into pieces) after a scandalous outing (I will blog about it soon), just to hear their ultimate conclusion: We are going to Perhentian, whether there is a room or not.
The Monk inspected my car yesterday at the supper place itself and was shocked to find that the battery water all dried up and lectured me on the spot for not taking care of my car properly. Having washed car sparkling clean does NOT constitute taking good care of a car. He instructed me to pump air into the tyres the next day (today) as it was already almost mid night, saying it’s very dangerous. I said, I am not going to Projet. (A politician’s son was almost kidnapped at this petrol station on the same day).
A wise friend TV Smith retorted, “Scrap the Plan!” when I agonized.
Somehow, the gang finds this a rather exciting adventure on the high possibility that we might end up sleeping in a million star hotel afterall. The Monk said, we will remember this outing as long as we lived. We might even go for a one day trip to Perhentian, then go island hopping should there be no rooms for us to bunk in. Or we may befriend some villagers and stay with those rural folks and learn how to make keropok. Thank goodness there is no cannibal in this island.
Wish us good luck. It's gonna be one helluva experience.
Even at this point of time, we still have yet to book a place to stay in Pulau Perhentian. The guy in Bubu Beach told us to come and hope that we are lucky enough that someone might cancel their reservation last minute. We wanted Long Beach Inn. It is cheap, clean and does not look like some sleazy motel. Beggars can’t be choosers now.
I must be turning demented now for mixing too long with these fools. Yesterday I rushed all the way from KLCC to our regular mamak stall (right opposite the police station as the gang is afraid of being mistakenly hacked into pieces) after a scandalous outing (I will blog about it soon), just to hear their ultimate conclusion: We are going to Perhentian, whether there is a room or not.
The Monk inspected my car yesterday at the supper place itself and was shocked to find that the battery water all dried up and lectured me on the spot for not taking care of my car properly. Having washed car sparkling clean does NOT constitute taking good care of a car. He instructed me to pump air into the tyres the next day (today) as it was already almost mid night, saying it’s very dangerous. I said, I am not going to Projet. (A politician’s son was almost kidnapped at this petrol station on the same day).
A wise friend TV Smith retorted, “Scrap the Plan!” when I agonized.
Somehow, the gang finds this a rather exciting adventure on the high possibility that we might end up sleeping in a million star hotel afterall. The Monk said, we will remember this outing as long as we lived. We might even go for a one day trip to Perhentian, then go island hopping should there be no rooms for us to bunk in. Or we may befriend some villagers and stay with those rural folks and learn how to make keropok. Thank goodness there is no cannibal in this island.
Wish us good luck. It's gonna be one helluva experience.
To Know Malaysia, is to love Malaysian food ...
*Keropok is cracker made of fish which is ground to a paste then mixed with sago before it is steamed and later deep fried. It is the snack instead of a proper meal and sometimes is served as the snack before meal. It can be eaten either when it is steamed or deep fried, both give different taste. The long chewy ones are called keropok lekor while the thin crispy are called keping, means slice. Both the keropok is usually eaten with chili dip.
Related Stories: Ain't Love Grand?, Perhentian Trip: Preparation, Supper Gang: Revealed, Supper Talk
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
OFFICE ABUSE OF E-MAILS
Who’s who?
J. Lo – former colleague who was an angel till I came to brain wash her. Has hair looking like fabulous J. Lo
Ah Ku – ex boss, pushing 50s, a spinster-with-a-stick-in-her-arse, giving hell to whoever works under her
Piew Cher – J.Lo’s boy friend. Meaning: Cousin Sister in Cantonese. A nickname is essential while working in my ex firm as the spinster-with-a-stick-in-her-arse might go berserk if we mention the word “my boy friend” or “my man”
Prince – former colleague, poor sod legal assistant who is still stuck with the spinster-with-a-stick-in-her-arse
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed, 04-08-04 02:55 PM
Subject: Re: hello
Eh.. I don’t think I can make it for Prince’s wedding. Best buddy coming from spore that week. Going to give him RM50 ang pow.
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 3:03 PM
Subject: Re: hello
wahlau! u so generous! i need money too...
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed, 04-08-04 03:15 PM
Subject: Re: hello
dont worry. when you and your piew cher get
married, I know what to do one.
hehehehe. must get married this year right?
Next year no good
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 3:18 PM
Subject: Re: hello
oh god! this year can not, his sister &
brother already take the Q.
I have to wait for next year! why next year no good?
ai yah, can't wait anymore, don't bother lah.
I jealous lah. Everybody has their own children now. I can’t wait.
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed,04-08-04 03:22 PM
Subject: Re: hello
yeah lah. it has been so long. aiseh.. you cant
wait to get married ah?
fatt hau? hahahaha
faster faster give birth. then send the full moon
package to Ah Ku.
write on the card: asking her, when is her turn to have
babies? Hahahahahaha
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 3:29 PM
Subject: Re: hello
if ah ku die on the spot then will I be
prosecuted?
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed,04-08-04 03:33 PM
Subject: Re: hello
definitely no lah. hahahahahahaahhahhahahha. this
is act of GOD
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 3:35 PM
Subject: Re: hello
ya lah hor, then i will be an angel. Doing her a favor, killing her from her sexless life.
***** messages truncated due to confidentiality*****
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed,04-08-04 05:30 PM
Subject: Re: hello
i am going to perhentian with my kai kor. Remember the six
footer? :)
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 5:35 PM
Subject: Re: hello
Perhention is a very nice place, i think u choose the right destination. it was very beautiful when i went there 5 years ago, and we managed to rent a very cheap chalet near the beach at RM20/- per day with attached bathroom!
i really miss there! but don't know now got polluted not.
wah, u & kai kor only,,???? hehe...
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed,04-08-04 05:36 PM
Subject: Re: hello
no lah of coz. me, kai kor and 3 other guys.
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 5:51 PM
Subject: Re: hello
wahlau, dating 4 guys, why u so greedy one?
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed,04-08-04 05:55 PM
Subject: Re: hello
i want to make babies faster than you mah. Hahahahahah
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 5:59 PM
Subject: Re: hello
then later your baby have to do DNA test to find out who's is the
father!
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Subject: Re: hello
Sent: Wed 04-08-04 06:05 PM
never mind. what i have is money.
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Lo
To: Gina
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 6:06 PM
Subject: Re: hello
yoo... kaya betul people now! can lend me some!
----- Original Message -----
From: Gina
To: J. Lo
Sent: Wed,04-08-04 06.16 PM
Subject: Re: hello
kidding lah. i have to go now. tired lah. want to go home now and sleep terus.
UPDATE
Lessons learned from pre- Perhentian trip
Never ever go anywhere expecting demented people to plan for it. Plan it yourself.
Looks like we will be sleeping under the million stars hotel for free (on the beach) as we failed to realize that this weekend coincide with the public holiday of Singapore. And the usual way of going to a place without booking wouldn’t be working miraculously this time (these demented people take pride in walking in without reservations). To make matters worse, we are going to share the island with Singaporeans. Irony.
And we gotta drive (Koon failed to secure bus tickets). Imagine four people in a Kenari. Like sardines in a can.
I have gotten myself a sleeping bag. Just in case.
Related Stories:Ignorance is Bliss, Ain't Love Grand?, Perhentian Trip: Preparation, Supper Gang: Revealed, Supper Talk
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
TALE OF FOUR SISTERS
Clockwise from the top - Eldest Aunt, Mom, Third Aunt and Fourth Aunt
My family is a close knit one. None of my friends could understand how we could stay with my eldest aunt for the past 15 years. My family shifted to Kuala Lumpur when dad opted for early retirement from the army. He was a sergeant then.
Being in Taiping, there was hardly much choice for a proper job to feed five hungry mouths. (Yeah – despite being poor, miraculously or rather unfortunately, I still grow up to be BIG and FAT. Thanks for the free army rice dad got from his camp).
We decided to try our luck in KL. We landed in our aunt’s house. She welcomed us with open arms and heart.
All my three aunts except my mom, are hair dressers. They still are till today. In fact, most of my hair is cut by them throughout my life thus far. Sometimes, I go to hair salon (rarely) since their eyesight is failing due to age. I prefer my eldest aunt to cut my hair since she is the one with immaculate hair styling skill. Show her any pictures of any models, she would snip your hair according to specification effortlessly. One thing I couldn’t stand is, she prefer all of us (girls in the family) to have our hair short due to the hot weather. I remembered once, I went to school looking like an ex-convict.
Life has been rough for them. Imagine, these tiny girls started working when they were merely 6 to 7 years old, helping mom to peddle iced water and junk food. The curse about the men in my family is, most of them are lazy bastards, especially my late grandfather.
My grand dad was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. However, he opted to waste away his fortune, failing in his business of partnership with friends as being a simple man, he was always cheated. He ended up helping to build temples for a free meal, helping neighbours, sit in coffee shops and yakked away his life...failing to bring bread home to his family. In no time, all money were spent, and there was nothing left.
It was up to my late grandmother, eldest aunt, mom and third aunt to take care of the family of eight. They would peddle iced water, peel the bark of the mangrove tree to make charcoal at 20 sen per pole, rationing hard earned money and feeling helpless to choose between buying rice (to fill their stomach) or sugar (for tomorrow iced water business). Imagine being children yet having problems of an adult.
I know this may sound like some cliché soppy stories that you usually read in Amy Tan’s novels, but that was the life that the four sisters went through.
They are in their late 50s and 60s now. Life has been easier, even though not very much but at least they are happy.
I hope I will be able to repay these remarkable women my utmost gratitude and vow to bring them happiness till the end of their lives. Today is my eldest aunt’s birthday, and I wish this amazing woman a very happy 62nd birthday.
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