My boss ought to learn Lesson Two by hard.
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle & asked him, "Can I also sit like you & do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, & rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit & ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting & doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze & fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by & dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm & happy, & soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing & came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, & promptly dug him out & ate him.
Management Lesson:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends your two-minute management course.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
THE ART OF ARSE KISSING
12.35 p.m. Office, 2nd floor. This building has no CF!
The board room is filled with people. Mr Handsome (one of the long serving managers in my company) came to borrow extension cord from me. Too bad he is married. Christian some more. Most likely unable to flirt with him (haha).
Still very free since morning. Trying hard to look busy. Now in jitters coz waiting for shares purchased to be confirmed. Regretted for not buying the stocks when they were 6 sen cheaper! Would have gotten RM600 in a matter of a week! Christ! If only!
Boss came back from meeting in high spirits. Of coz, heard rumors that she was entitled to 3 months’ bonus for her high skills in polishing people’s shoes and kissing the MD’s butt. It is a miracle that she is still employed after so many years of bullshitting. Must learn from her, skilled mastery of kissing one’s arse.. the right arse at the right time. If you believe in feng shui, she is born in the year of Rooster. According to Lillian Too, Roosters will be damn lucky in the period of 8, which will last 20 years. Godamnit.
An idiot acting as the advisor to the big boss in a fairly large company, with absolutely no idea on what she is doing, and well known for her tai-chi movement in passing on responsibilities to someone else. Can’t even tell the difference between disposal, acquisition and contra. Christ. Her overused statement – “Is it? Well, since it is not being passed to me directly, it is none of my biz. I don’t care”.
The art of communication (kissing arses and politicking) is a very important criteria when you are a salary earner. I have realized this since the first day I stepped foot into the corporate world, sadly, I have yet to master this particular communication skill. I have been naive in thinking that I will be able to get away with my boldness and aggressiveness, compensating by my impressive job performance. Unfortunately, not every industry has people who will appreciate opinionated and highly initiative employees. Guess I have to tone down a bit and just follow where the wind blows. If you can’t beat them, join them.
3.55 p.m.
Almost fell asleep over the pc after drafting a minute which I do not attend. A short note is provided by my boss to “assist” me in drafting the minutes. It is really funny what she thinks is important is a total hog wash. Like.. why it the reference numbers are being numbered that way? Stupid question. Stupid notation.
4.10 p.m.
A colleague showed me some pics taken in Taiwan. Mental note: never ever buy that digital camera she is using.
4.18 p.m.
Woah.. the thunder is deafening. Good reason to go home early. Actually I always go home sharp at 5.30 p.m. irregardless it rains or shines. That is why my boss hated me so much for being “not committed”. To her, commitment is staying back till 11 p.m. irregardless you have things to do or not. As you can see, I am too free till I can write blogs during office hours.. so.. should I stay back and write more blogs in order to show that I am utterly “committed” to the company?
4.24 p.m.
There is basically no filing system in this company. When you want to find something, you have to look for it for hours after everybody denied having it.
4.28 p.m.
*cough* This cough is killing me.
4.29 p.m.
it is pouring outside! Yikes!
10.50 p.m.
Gone to see the doc. I have joined the circle of pill popping people. It is high blood pressure or they called it hypertension. Sigh. Doc said 40% is hereditary, 60% is lifesytle. I am a hybrid in between both of them.
The board room is filled with people. Mr Handsome (one of the long serving managers in my company) came to borrow extension cord from me. Too bad he is married. Christian some more. Most likely unable to flirt with him (haha).
Still very free since morning. Trying hard to look busy. Now in jitters coz waiting for shares purchased to be confirmed. Regretted for not buying the stocks when they were 6 sen cheaper! Would have gotten RM600 in a matter of a week! Christ! If only!
Boss came back from meeting in high spirits. Of coz, heard rumors that she was entitled to 3 months’ bonus for her high skills in polishing people’s shoes and kissing the MD’s butt. It is a miracle that she is still employed after so many years of bullshitting. Must learn from her, skilled mastery of kissing one’s arse.. the right arse at the right time. If you believe in feng shui, she is born in the year of Rooster. According to Lillian Too, Roosters will be damn lucky in the period of 8, which will last 20 years. Godamnit.
An idiot acting as the advisor to the big boss in a fairly large company, with absolutely no idea on what she is doing, and well known for her tai-chi movement in passing on responsibilities to someone else. Can’t even tell the difference between disposal, acquisition and contra. Christ. Her overused statement – “Is it? Well, since it is not being passed to me directly, it is none of my biz. I don’t care”.
The art of communication (kissing arses and politicking) is a very important criteria when you are a salary earner. I have realized this since the first day I stepped foot into the corporate world, sadly, I have yet to master this particular communication skill. I have been naive in thinking that I will be able to get away with my boldness and aggressiveness, compensating by my impressive job performance. Unfortunately, not every industry has people who will appreciate opinionated and highly initiative employees. Guess I have to tone down a bit and just follow where the wind blows. If you can’t beat them, join them.
3.55 p.m.
Almost fell asleep over the pc after drafting a minute which I do not attend. A short note is provided by my boss to “assist” me in drafting the minutes. It is really funny what she thinks is important is a total hog wash. Like.. why it the reference numbers are being numbered that way? Stupid question. Stupid notation.
4.10 p.m.
A colleague showed me some pics taken in Taiwan. Mental note: never ever buy that digital camera she is using.
4.18 p.m.
Woah.. the thunder is deafening. Good reason to go home early. Actually I always go home sharp at 5.30 p.m. irregardless it rains or shines. That is why my boss hated me so much for being “not committed”. To her, commitment is staying back till 11 p.m. irregardless you have things to do or not. As you can see, I am too free till I can write blogs during office hours.. so.. should I stay back and write more blogs in order to show that I am utterly “committed” to the company?
4.24 p.m.
There is basically no filing system in this company. When you want to find something, you have to look for it for hours after everybody denied having it.
4.28 p.m.
*cough* This cough is killing me.
4.29 p.m.
it is pouring outside! Yikes!
10.50 p.m.
Gone to see the doc. I have joined the circle of pill popping people. It is high blood pressure or they called it hypertension. Sigh. Doc said 40% is hereditary, 60% is lifesytle. I am a hybrid in between both of them.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
TRIP OF THE GLUTTONS
Went to Port Dickson (“PD”) with my old buds from my ex company. Ms Fon (one client addressed her last Chinese name as her surname and the name got stucked till today), Ms Taufufa (always on MC) and my manager, Ms Tambi (her name shares the same pronunciation as “brother” in tamil).
It was a trip of the gluttons. We basically go to places with good food once or twice a year. This year, it happened to be Port Dickson. We got a fairly good deal for hotel, as Visa card owners, we get RM190 net for twin double bed instead of paying the usual RM320 at one of the most prestigious hotels there. Private beach, a swimming pool overlooking a small lawn then the sea… a cocktail bar by the pool. Ah… unfortunately, not many white men for us to feast our eyes on.
Ms Tambi bought us dinner the first night coz she landed with a windfall in the stock market– we went all the way to Seremban, paid RM2.60 for the toll per route, and ordered salted steam crabs. Before that, we had some starters from Pasar Malam in PD, some kuihs, nasi lemak, cendol, keropok, kuih bakar, chicken kebab (this is really nice)… yes.. they are just starters. You should find out what did we eat in our last Melaka trip… it is a miracle to see small bodied person like Ms Tambi can eat much much MUCH more than me. We basically ate everything that can be found in Melaka.That is another story. After the scrumptious dinner, we went for VCD hunting. Sorry to say that we are not big fans of originals. Enough said. We ta pao some Seremban Char Siew Paos for supper… and the next day’s breakfast.
Then travelled another 45 mins back to PD.
The next morning, Tambi and I went for a dip in the pool. It was a big pool. It is good that not many people knew how to swim. Not so congested. And I can have the 6 feet depth pool all to myself while children are clogging the pathetic smaller pool infested with germs. Did some 20 laps before going back to hotel and further dipped myself in bubble bath for another half an hour.
For lunch, we went to this nice PD restaurant situated near the hotel.. Mutiara Restaurant or something. Please try the butter crabs when you are there. It is worth the traveling hassle. I still remember this is the same restaurant I came with my fellow internet friends back in the 1998. Same owner, same nice food, still very much the same price.
Taufufa filially “ta pao” some 1.5 kgs crabs to bring back to her mom (actually I know it is for her more). We had to budget the crabs due to inavailability. The owner told us that a lot of people came to eat crabs the night before and they ran out of crabs this morning. RM35/- per kilo. We ordered 4 kgs but they only have 3 kgs. Also, when we were having our butter crabs, other customers from other tables look at us enviously. Lucky thing we came early.
After the nice lunch, (also free – Taufufa bought us lunch coz she got increment and bonus. They didn’t ask me to buy them coz they know I will be unemployed soon), we hit the road for home. We reached Ms Fon’s house – that is where all our cars were parked and watched “Love Actually” ( I love Hugh Grant!!) till 5 pm before hitting home.
It was a trip of the gluttons. We basically go to places with good food once or twice a year. This year, it happened to be Port Dickson. We got a fairly good deal for hotel, as Visa card owners, we get RM190 net for twin double bed instead of paying the usual RM320 at one of the most prestigious hotels there. Private beach, a swimming pool overlooking a small lawn then the sea… a cocktail bar by the pool. Ah… unfortunately, not many white men for us to feast our eyes on.
Ms Tambi bought us dinner the first night coz she landed with a windfall in the stock market– we went all the way to Seremban, paid RM2.60 for the toll per route, and ordered salted steam crabs. Before that, we had some starters from Pasar Malam in PD, some kuihs, nasi lemak, cendol, keropok, kuih bakar, chicken kebab (this is really nice)… yes.. they are just starters. You should find out what did we eat in our last Melaka trip… it is a miracle to see small bodied person like Ms Tambi can eat much much MUCH more than me. We basically ate everything that can be found in Melaka.That is another story. After the scrumptious dinner, we went for VCD hunting. Sorry to say that we are not big fans of originals. Enough said. We ta pao some Seremban Char Siew Paos for supper… and the next day’s breakfast.
Then travelled another 45 mins back to PD.
The next morning, Tambi and I went for a dip in the pool. It was a big pool. It is good that not many people knew how to swim. Not so congested. And I can have the 6 feet depth pool all to myself while children are clogging the pathetic smaller pool infested with germs. Did some 20 laps before going back to hotel and further dipped myself in bubble bath for another half an hour.
For lunch, we went to this nice PD restaurant situated near the hotel.. Mutiara Restaurant or something. Please try the butter crabs when you are there. It is worth the traveling hassle. I still remember this is the same restaurant I came with my fellow internet friends back in the 1998. Same owner, same nice food, still very much the same price.
Taufufa filially “ta pao” some 1.5 kgs crabs to bring back to her mom (actually I know it is for her more). We had to budget the crabs due to inavailability. The owner told us that a lot of people came to eat crabs the night before and they ran out of crabs this morning. RM35/- per kilo. We ordered 4 kgs but they only have 3 kgs. Also, when we were having our butter crabs, other customers from other tables look at us enviously. Lucky thing we came early.
After the nice lunch, (also free – Taufufa bought us lunch coz she got increment and bonus. They didn’t ask me to buy them coz they know I will be unemployed soon), we hit the road for home. We reached Ms Fon’s house – that is where all our cars were parked and watched “Love Actually” ( I love Hugh Grant!!) till 5 pm before hitting home.
Monday, February 16, 2004
AUNT AGONY IN ACTION
*All names are changed in order to protect the not-so-innocent. Hope this would benefit people dealing with the same problems. Permission is sought to publish this*
Love believes all things, trust all things, endures all things...
Please read from bottom up.
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 3:12 PM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
I think we have discussed this issue before. It is like what the Buddha said, what goes around, comes around. Also, I remember that this so called guy that you have infatuation is married, right? With kids?
I think I remembered me saying that, so what if you have this guy and make yourself happy? What about the children? They are innocent. They did not do anything to deserve a breakdown in a family. How are they going to live in a broken family? They are affected psychologically.. if not emotionally.
When we marry, we have made a vow in God’s eyes that we will stay true till death do us part? I guess this phrase is meaningless now. Marriage can be easily tampered with.. they should put a new phrase, we will stay true if there is nobody else fancy us, or we still stay true , but if there is another better opportunity, you have no right to stop me?
You are already 27. not 17. I don’t know how can this guy actually made your heart melt. What have he done to steal your heart?
Everyone of us have this picture of our dream guy in our subconscious mind. When we meet the particular person who resembles the dream guy, we will automatically think.. he is THE ONE. He is perfect in every sense. That is why he is called a dream guy. Sadly but true, he only appears in our fantasy. There is no such thing as a dream guy. It is just a hopeful feeling.
Mr Goody is a good guy. He possesses noble characters. He doesn’t get jealous easily, understanding, considerate, .. I am sure you also knew that deep down in his heart, no matter how he is sensitive towards you or trying to be as considerate as possible, he is hurt. He is trying all he can to make you happy.
Bear in mind that everyone has their limitations. If you push Mr Goody too hard, some day, he won’t be able to take it anymore and he will leave. You don’t want this to happen right? it will be tragic.
Perhaps I haven’t met the true great love as yet. Somehow or another, if I were to have crushes or infatuations, I will analyze myself… if it is worth it to fret if I can’t keep them? Will they be happier without me? Then I will wish them all the best in whoever they want to be with, even can be sincerely happy about it.
Last week, I went to visit a friend whom I really had a crush on when his baby is one month old. I was more than happy to show that I am happy for him, even though I don’t like his wife. We had a long history – just me and him, coz he is broken hearted by his wife before they were married, the wife is two timing him. (before marriage). I was his listening ears and a shoulder to cry on for about 1 year …indirectly, I started to develop feelings for him…. then the wife decide to get back to him. I was devastated. He of coz, is happy coz this fool is so much in love with her. He doesn’t know that I love him.. I think he knew yet he doesn’t desert me or avoid me and he shows that he still care for me. As much as I have cared for him previously.
Now, I have accepted that he is married with a kid, even if he is always arguing with his wife over a lot of things.. I didn’t pray that he will break up or divorce. In fact, I hope they will be able to deal with their differences. After all.. this is what marriage is all about.
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 3:19 PM
Subject: RE: bday in office
Thank you for being very true in your reply to me .. I realize how lucky i am to have Mr Goody... even when i confessed that I have infatuation for another person ... he says that he loves me all the same... and the only way for me to get out of this depression mode is to concentrate in him - (ie to forget the infatuation) and love him... and be faithful and good... that way, will keep things in control for me ... I think he is right ... he is trying really hard to get me a confortable life and is even ok if I do not want to work ..
I will take your advice for sure Gina ... sometimes, I think you are prob the only fren whom I can really speak to.. and who won;t laugh at me... but rather give me true feedback ... and I appreciate this ... I'll repay this when I get the chance to ok...
it is difficult to let go of the person whom I am infautated with ... it is not easy... but you gotta help me through this ... I feel extremely sad needing to let go of this emotion and feeling ... and it brings tears to my eyes a lot of times when I think of them ... but like I said it myself in my message below... all these sufferrrings would not change the outcome ... only difference is how much I hurt ... and it would not be known by the other party anyways ... but Mr Goody is sensitive enough ... when I call him to tell him that I am depressed ... he immediately knows that it is becos I am thinking of the other person ... but kept quiet about it... until I told him I feel depressed cos I am thinking of this other one ... then only he said that he already knows it ... and just did not want to bring it up ... hmmm... I think I should thank the Lord for giving me Mr Goody ...
tell me more to convince me that my infatuation is utterly stupid and silly ... I need to be convinceed.... cos I know this is not the right thing to do... but it holds a big portion in my heart...
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 3:12 PM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
aiyoh... why so damn depressed? you are married now for christ's sake. let go all those feelings. one day, when you are old and grey with Mr Goody, resminiscing old times, both of you will laugh at it, how silly you are .. and it is good that Mr Goody stands by you till the very end. I have a feeling that he will stand by you till the end. He is a good guy. Don't take him for granted.
he even knew how to console you. this is a good sign. it says that, no matter how your heart felt, he is always there for you. willing to listen and willing to give you time. there is nobody else who can be as understanding as Mr Goody, I believe. he is emotionally mature for a guy.
no point to fret over someone who doesnt even know that you like him.
for me, i dont care. really. it was just a crush i maintained since i was 15. hahahha. come to think of it. quite silly also.
so, i will make sure i treasure those ppl who are around me now. not wait till they go away or passed away, then only start to regret, why we dont treat them better when they are alive?
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 2:51 PM
Subject: RE: bday in office
life is sometimes not what we want them to be .... you know ... at times, we expect things from some folks whom we like a lot, and I really mean a LOT... but they may have a different opinion... I know how you feel... cos I feel the same way ... it is difficult to let go of this liking/feeling about this person(s) whom you have developed an infatuation/liking for ... there is this hurt and pain and sorrow that only you can tell yourself.. and no one can delve into this better than you... and though in your heart you know that things are impossible (given the negative responses from the opposite parties).... our hearts just refuse to listen to our brain... and we go into an emotional cycle.. which drains us ... I felt this one time.. and it is definitely not good ... you know what I mean right?
I am beginning to let go of this infatuation and learning to love the right person .. this is honest confession ... and it hurts very badly ... sometimes, when I am alone, it makes me feel like crying ... and then what do I do? I call Mr Goody .. I tell him I am really depressed and why ... he tells me to let go of the feeling .. I am trying very hard ... very very hard .. but it is difficult .. cos I am a rather "emotionally-stubborn" person - and moreover, this is my emotion/feelings.. not just another piece of old clothing that we cna easily throw away and forget ... right?
in my brain, I know this is the right thing to do .. but my heart just puts more slashes to my heart and cuts it deep ... cos I really treasure this feeling ... but at the end of the day ... with millions of slashes and cuts, the end-result would remain the same ... no change .. and to think about it .. the other party may not even know this kind/serious turmoil that we are going through ... and they woudl not change anyways... regardless... so, there is no true point in continually feeling hurt and sad...
sorry, I have been in kinda a depression mode for a little bit... and that is why I write these smoothly on an email to you today ... I hope my telling you my misery, you'll feel better ... though it may not be the exact same thing ... life has got to go on... let go and let's go on ... I am trying hard .. I hope you can too... and I know you can do it better ... cos you have a stronger character than me ... right Gina? I am still very sad now ... to say the least....
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 2:07 PM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
what to do? ong also useless. ppl still extend my probation.
so how? yesterday i consulted a friend. she said to quit my job.
saying ppl with my capabilities dont worry not getting job outside.
good news. i already got my ACIS. which is my license!
decide to forget about tai tau totally after he failed to call me on my bday.
just an sms 2 days in advanced
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 1:02 PM
Subject: RE: bday in office
sure of course ong punya ... don't worry :)
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:39 AM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
yeah. he is ok looking. got nice buck teeth. so cute. hahaha
they say purplish red is ong color. so i also hope to ong on my bday.
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:28 AM
Subject: RE: bday in office
lucky you ...
that guy is ok looking ... but seems to be good fit for husband candidate ... too bad taken? how officially taken should be the question ... heheheheh... hey, I like you in your outfit... fits your _expression and emotions very nicely ... cozy and comfy... :)
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:01 AM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: bday in office
see how nice my colleagues are to me. unfortunately, they are not my boss.
cute or not that guy? too bad taken.
Love believes all things, trust all things, endures all things...
Please read from bottom up.
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 3:12 PM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
I think we have discussed this issue before. It is like what the Buddha said, what goes around, comes around. Also, I remember that this so called guy that you have infatuation is married, right? With kids?
I think I remembered me saying that, so what if you have this guy and make yourself happy? What about the children? They are innocent. They did not do anything to deserve a breakdown in a family. How are they going to live in a broken family? They are affected psychologically.. if not emotionally.
When we marry, we have made a vow in God’s eyes that we will stay true till death do us part? I guess this phrase is meaningless now. Marriage can be easily tampered with.. they should put a new phrase, we will stay true if there is nobody else fancy us, or we still stay true , but if there is another better opportunity, you have no right to stop me?
You are already 27. not 17. I don’t know how can this guy actually made your heart melt. What have he done to steal your heart?
Everyone of us have this picture of our dream guy in our subconscious mind. When we meet the particular person who resembles the dream guy, we will automatically think.. he is THE ONE. He is perfect in every sense. That is why he is called a dream guy. Sadly but true, he only appears in our fantasy. There is no such thing as a dream guy. It is just a hopeful feeling.
Mr Goody is a good guy. He possesses noble characters. He doesn’t get jealous easily, understanding, considerate, .. I am sure you also knew that deep down in his heart, no matter how he is sensitive towards you or trying to be as considerate as possible, he is hurt. He is trying all he can to make you happy.
Bear in mind that everyone has their limitations. If you push Mr Goody too hard, some day, he won’t be able to take it anymore and he will leave. You don’t want this to happen right? it will be tragic.
Perhaps I haven’t met the true great love as yet. Somehow or another, if I were to have crushes or infatuations, I will analyze myself… if it is worth it to fret if I can’t keep them? Will they be happier without me? Then I will wish them all the best in whoever they want to be with, even can be sincerely happy about it.
Last week, I went to visit a friend whom I really had a crush on when his baby is one month old. I was more than happy to show that I am happy for him, even though I don’t like his wife. We had a long history – just me and him, coz he is broken hearted by his wife before they were married, the wife is two timing him. (before marriage). I was his listening ears and a shoulder to cry on for about 1 year …indirectly, I started to develop feelings for him…. then the wife decide to get back to him. I was devastated. He of coz, is happy coz this fool is so much in love with her. He doesn’t know that I love him.. I think he knew yet he doesn’t desert me or avoid me and he shows that he still care for me. As much as I have cared for him previously.
Now, I have accepted that he is married with a kid, even if he is always arguing with his wife over a lot of things.. I didn’t pray that he will break up or divorce. In fact, I hope they will be able to deal with their differences. After all.. this is what marriage is all about.
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 3:19 PM
Subject: RE: bday in office
Thank you for being very true in your reply to me .. I realize how lucky i am to have Mr Goody... even when i confessed that I have infatuation for another person ... he says that he loves me all the same... and the only way for me to get out of this depression mode is to concentrate in him - (ie to forget the infatuation) and love him... and be faithful and good... that way, will keep things in control for me ... I think he is right ... he is trying really hard to get me a confortable life and is even ok if I do not want to work ..
I will take your advice for sure Gina ... sometimes, I think you are prob the only fren whom I can really speak to.. and who won;t laugh at me... but rather give me true feedback ... and I appreciate this ... I'll repay this when I get the chance to ok...
it is difficult to let go of the person whom I am infautated with ... it is not easy... but you gotta help me through this ... I feel extremely sad needing to let go of this emotion and feeling ... and it brings tears to my eyes a lot of times when I think of them ... but like I said it myself in my message below... all these sufferrrings would not change the outcome ... only difference is how much I hurt ... and it would not be known by the other party anyways ... but Mr Goody is sensitive enough ... when I call him to tell him that I am depressed ... he immediately knows that it is becos I am thinking of the other person ... but kept quiet about it... until I told him I feel depressed cos I am thinking of this other one ... then only he said that he already knows it ... and just did not want to bring it up ... hmmm... I think I should thank the Lord for giving me Mr Goody ...
tell me more to convince me that my infatuation is utterly stupid and silly ... I need to be convinceed.... cos I know this is not the right thing to do... but it holds a big portion in my heart...
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 3:12 PM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
aiyoh... why so damn depressed? you are married now for christ's sake. let go all those feelings. one day, when you are old and grey with Mr Goody, resminiscing old times, both of you will laugh at it, how silly you are .. and it is good that Mr Goody stands by you till the very end. I have a feeling that he will stand by you till the end. He is a good guy. Don't take him for granted.
he even knew how to console you. this is a good sign. it says that, no matter how your heart felt, he is always there for you. willing to listen and willing to give you time. there is nobody else who can be as understanding as Mr Goody, I believe. he is emotionally mature for a guy.
no point to fret over someone who doesnt even know that you like him.
for me, i dont care. really. it was just a crush i maintained since i was 15. hahahha. come to think of it. quite silly also.
so, i will make sure i treasure those ppl who are around me now. not wait till they go away or passed away, then only start to regret, why we dont treat them better when they are alive?
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 2:51 PM
Subject: RE: bday in office
life is sometimes not what we want them to be .... you know ... at times, we expect things from some folks whom we like a lot, and I really mean a LOT... but they may have a different opinion... I know how you feel... cos I feel the same way ... it is difficult to let go of this liking/feeling about this person(s) whom you have developed an infatuation/liking for ... there is this hurt and pain and sorrow that only you can tell yourself.. and no one can delve into this better than you... and though in your heart you know that things are impossible (given the negative responses from the opposite parties).... our hearts just refuse to listen to our brain... and we go into an emotional cycle.. which drains us ... I felt this one time.. and it is definitely not good ... you know what I mean right?
I am beginning to let go of this infatuation and learning to love the right person .. this is honest confession ... and it hurts very badly ... sometimes, when I am alone, it makes me feel like crying ... and then what do I do? I call Mr Goody .. I tell him I am really depressed and why ... he tells me to let go of the feeling .. I am trying very hard ... very very hard .. but it is difficult .. cos I am a rather "emotionally-stubborn" person - and moreover, this is my emotion/feelings.. not just another piece of old clothing that we cna easily throw away and forget ... right?
in my brain, I know this is the right thing to do .. but my heart just puts more slashes to my heart and cuts it deep ... cos I really treasure this feeling ... but at the end of the day ... with millions of slashes and cuts, the end-result would remain the same ... no change .. and to think about it .. the other party may not even know this kind/serious turmoil that we are going through ... and they woudl not change anyways... regardless... so, there is no true point in continually feeling hurt and sad...
sorry, I have been in kinda a depression mode for a little bit... and that is why I write these smoothly on an email to you today ... I hope my telling you my misery, you'll feel better ... though it may not be the exact same thing ... life has got to go on... let go and let's go on ... I am trying hard .. I hope you can too... and I know you can do it better ... cos you have a stronger character than me ... right Gina? I am still very sad now ... to say the least....
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 2:07 PM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
what to do? ong also useless. ppl still extend my probation.
so how? yesterday i consulted a friend. she said to quit my job.
saying ppl with my capabilities dont worry not getting job outside.
good news. i already got my ACIS. which is my license!
decide to forget about tai tau totally after he failed to call me on my bday.
just an sms 2 days in advanced
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 1:02 PM
Subject: RE: bday in office
sure of course ong punya ... don't worry :)
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:39 AM
To: Missy
Subject: Re: bday in office
yeah. he is ok looking. got nice buck teeth. so cute. hahaha
they say purplish red is ong color. so i also hope to ong on my bday.
----- Original Message -----
From: Missy
To: 'Aunt Agony'
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:28 AM
Subject: RE: bday in office
lucky you ...
that guy is ok looking ... but seems to be good fit for husband candidate ... too bad taken? how officially taken should be the question ... heheheheh... hey, I like you in your outfit... fits your _expression and emotions very nicely ... cozy and comfy... :)
-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt Agony
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:01 AM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: bday in office
see how nice my colleagues are to me. unfortunately, they are not my boss.
cute or not that guy? too bad taken.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
LAZY SUNDAY
8.30 a.m.
Phone alarm clock buzz. Get up bed. Go to the loo. Brush teeth. Changed. Comb hair. Go to kitchen. Took some fibre drinks. Drove to Sri Damansara. Park car at Sri Damansara. Get into friend’s car. Go to Sg. Buluh. Small lanes. Jam a bit. Havoc parking space. Lucky I didn’t drive. Ate dim sum – ordered most fried ones. Regretted for not really eating steamed dim sum. The porridge tastes like coarse salt. The Chinese tea tastes like a family of cockcroaches slept in the tea pot over night, not in time to get out of the pot when the boiling water is poured into it.
Paid RM48.60 for the salt porridge and cockcroach tea.
Head back to friend’s house. Friend said this area a lot of foreigners. Indonesians, Bangladeshis, Vietnamese, Burmese.. etc. Vietnamese love dog’s meat. No wonder there are not many stray dogs now. Good riddance.
************************************************************************************
Came home.
My mom is baby sitting two monsters. They look really adorable.. wait till you hear them scream. It is a wonder how small bodies like that have such big lungs.
Phone call… ring ring…
Me: Hullo? *cough*
Sasha’s Mom (Hot babe – Lisa): dia sudah bangun kah?
Me: Huh? *Blur for 3 secs* .. Sudah… ah…
Lisa: sudah mandi?
Me: Huh… argh…
Stick insect sister came down the stairs.
Stick insect sister: Sasha kun. (Sasha is sleeping in Hokkien)
Me: Ah, masih tidur lah. Mau datang ambil?
Lisa: tidur kah? Nanti I datang, I call lah.
Me: Ok.
Hang up.
Sasha is the first kid we baby sit. Chinese-Malay parentage. Came when she was 2 months’ old. Will post her pic when I finally figure out how to go about it.
Phone alarm clock buzz. Get up bed. Go to the loo. Brush teeth. Changed. Comb hair. Go to kitchen. Took some fibre drinks. Drove to Sri Damansara. Park car at Sri Damansara. Get into friend’s car. Go to Sg. Buluh. Small lanes. Jam a bit. Havoc parking space. Lucky I didn’t drive. Ate dim sum – ordered most fried ones. Regretted for not really eating steamed dim sum. The porridge tastes like coarse salt. The Chinese tea tastes like a family of cockcroaches slept in the tea pot over night, not in time to get out of the pot when the boiling water is poured into it.
Paid RM48.60 for the salt porridge and cockcroach tea.
Head back to friend’s house. Friend said this area a lot of foreigners. Indonesians, Bangladeshis, Vietnamese, Burmese.. etc. Vietnamese love dog’s meat. No wonder there are not many stray dogs now. Good riddance.
************************************************************************************
Came home.
My mom is baby sitting two monsters. They look really adorable.. wait till you hear them scream. It is a wonder how small bodies like that have such big lungs.
Phone call… ring ring…
Me: Hullo? *cough*
Sasha’s Mom (Hot babe – Lisa): dia sudah bangun kah?
Me: Huh? *Blur for 3 secs* .. Sudah… ah…
Lisa: sudah mandi?
Me: Huh… argh…
Stick insect sister came down the stairs.
Stick insect sister: Sasha kun. (Sasha is sleeping in Hokkien)
Me: Ah, masih tidur lah. Mau datang ambil?
Lisa: tidur kah? Nanti I datang, I call lah.
Me: Ok.
Hang up.
Sasha is the first kid we baby sit. Chinese-Malay parentage. Came when she was 2 months’ old. Will post her pic when I finally figure out how to go about it.
Happy Birthday to Me, Myself and I
Well, thanks a lot, James & Mae. Of coz Mae doesn't have a clue about this. Perhaps, she will find out when her kid reaches 16 (legal age to read stuff his daddy wrote on the web). So, James, Should I call Mae up and thank her for this blog? *evil grin*
Today, James called me up and asked me for my particulars in order to sign up for some website which maybe able to link pics to this blog. I am totally clueless of what is going on.. when he asked me, is your computer FTP enabled? I was like.. what the f*ck is that? Yeah.. the only things I know about internet is to check my e-mails and check out some hot guys whom I might date over the IRC. James, whom I met, 7 years ago in #mamak is NOT one of the HOT GUYS. However, I am glad to have met him. James, if it wasn't for the unicorn, I would not have gone out with you. He looked safe coz he was bald and gayish (the unicorn). hahahahaha.
So, I was in Kinokuniya when James called, I had to say my IC Number, Address, and phone number loudly in public coz he couldn't hear or the line was bad? Or is he trying to sell me out, making me say all that particulars in public so people might notice and asked me out? Hmmmph... it might work.
For a singleton like me, no one to buy presents for this Valentine's day. Why am I born on the most romantic day on the calendar, yet remain so un-romanced? Wrong timing. Perhaps I am here to play people's cupid, or Aunt Agony, solving other people's romance problems. I am quite good at it. Very experienced even. Think I have learnt too many things from people with broken relationships - tragic even. So guess it is wise to stay out of this roller coaster of emotions. Too much for me. (or out of no choice? - Hmmph...)
Ok, here's wishing another year of good health, good luck and better management of my temper and my big mouth so I don't get into so much trouble.
Thanks, WY for the lovely lunch and movie.
Today, James called me up and asked me for my particulars in order to sign up for some website which maybe able to link pics to this blog. I am totally clueless of what is going on.. when he asked me, is your computer FTP enabled? I was like.. what the f*ck is that? Yeah.. the only things I know about internet is to check my e-mails and check out some hot guys whom I might date over the IRC. James, whom I met, 7 years ago in #mamak is NOT one of the HOT GUYS. However, I am glad to have met him. James, if it wasn't for the unicorn, I would not have gone out with you. He looked safe coz he was bald and gayish (the unicorn). hahahahaha.
So, I was in Kinokuniya when James called, I had to say my IC Number, Address, and phone number loudly in public coz he couldn't hear or the line was bad? Or is he trying to sell me out, making me say all that particulars in public so people might notice and asked me out? Hmmmph... it might work.
For a singleton like me, no one to buy presents for this Valentine's day. Why am I born on the most romantic day on the calendar, yet remain so un-romanced? Wrong timing. Perhaps I am here to play people's cupid, or Aunt Agony, solving other people's romance problems. I am quite good at it. Very experienced even. Think I have learnt too many things from people with broken relationships - tragic even. So guess it is wise to stay out of this roller coaster of emotions. Too much for me. (or out of no choice? - Hmmph...)
Ok, here's wishing another year of good health, good luck and better management of my temper and my big mouth so I don't get into so much trouble.
Thanks, WY for the lovely lunch and movie.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Happy Birthday
What do you give to a girl who has everything? Okay, so Gina doesn't have everything, but she has some big-assed opinions about everything. Which is why, the finest gift to Gina is a blog to call her own. This is the inaugural post in Gina Gets Her Groove! and it's courtesy of James & Mae.
Today is Valentine's Day and it's your birthday. Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine's Day.
Today is Valentine's Day and it's your birthday. Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine's Day.
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